George Ouzounian

gained fame on the Internet in the early 2000s for his opinion-oriented website, The Best Page in the Universe, which he still maintains.

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maddoxreddit733 karma


maddoxreddit675 karma

There are 2 main reasons, one of them I touched on in another response below, but I'll elaborate here:

  1. I self-edit because I respect my readers. I have written or started to write 13 articles last year, and only published 1. That's because I don't think everything I write is worth posting, and I wish more web authors followed suit. There's way too much bullshit out there; too many half-assed assertions, uninteresting observations, long, tedious fiction tomes and an endless supply of shitty photo blogs. Being able to point a camera at something and snapping a photo doesn't automatically make you an artist, and no nobody cares about your stupid link dump with a clever name. If it took you 5 minutes to make, it'll probably take me half as long times zero seconds to lose interest. If half these dick holes stopped flooding the Internet with so much shitty content, it wouldn't be so hard for genuinely talented up-and-commers to get noticed. Then again, if your goal is fame, you're in it for the wrong reason to begin with. Nobody cares about the quantity of articles, it's the quality that counts. If you post a thousand shitty articles and one good one, you think anyone will remember the shitty ones and say "hey, that one article is really good, but the reason I go back is for the shitty daily updates!" No, you cocks. Nobody remembers the shitty ones. All they care about are the good ones.

  2. I'm busy. I'm working on a ton of projects that I don't like to talk about until they come to fruition, because I don't want to be that overly anxious dick who posts something every time I take a meeting with someone from a network or publisher. That said, I do have a project that I'm willing to announce here because it's a done deal (as of about a few weeks ago) and I might as well announce it officially here. The only other place I've announced it was in person on my book tour, and there has been no announcement prior to this on the Internet, so this is a Reddit exclusive:

I am writing a new book, tentatively titled I Am Better Than Your Kids. It will be based on my popular article of the same name, found here:

This is the book I've wanted to write ever since I wrote that article, and the book I wanted to write even before "The Alphabet of Manliness." I've finally been given the chance to do that now, due in large part to the success of AoM. The book will cover many aspects of critiquing the work of children, all done by me in the same style and tone, as well as a few surprises. The publisher is Simon & Schuster. The release date will likely be some time next year. I will be accepting submissions for children's artwork soon, but not until I create a website for the book along with a submission form to clear all the artwork with legal mumbo jumbo. I'm just as excited to read this book as I am to write it, and that's not just me blowing myself. I've seriously wanted to do this book for a long time.

In addition to the book, I'm still working on my webisodes, and have 2 ready to go, but I may have to re-render the intro and change the title to it due to some recent developments with other (network) related TV stuff, which is part of the reason it has taken me so long to post the webisode stuff too. I won't elaborate further until there's some actual news to report.

maddoxreddit655 karma

Though it's not near its peaks, my traffic is still pretty steady. Here's a secret about the Internet and its "glory days:" nobody really cares how often you update. People care about quality, not quantity of articles. Nobody cares that you posted 100 shitty posts on your blog. Nobody will remember the hundreds of shitty posts, but they will remember the 1 good one that made them laugh or think. All it takes is one article to spark someone's imagination, and to get them to say "hey, this shit's pretty good. You know what? I think I'll send this to my buddy..."

The reason there are thousands of tumblr sites and countless photo blogs that don't get noticed is because most content creators don't self-edit. If it sucks, don't post it. Keep your brain farts to yourself. People who post every little quip or notion that pops into their head are assholes, because they're tacitly saying "fuck you" to the reader. They're saying "your time isn't as valuable as mine, so rather than me spending my time to edit down my content, I'll let you read it all and sift for good content for me." It's lazy. I edit myself into oblivion. Probably too much. I wrote or started to write 13 articles last year, and only posted 1.

As for the "glory days" of the Internet, you're living in them. Things are actually pretty good right now. After all, I'm still around. And yeah, I know I sound like a self-aggrandizing cock, but having a site titled "The Best Page in the Universe" doesn't lend itself to humility, and what more, it's the solid gold truth. It's telling that a guy like me--a self-made man who started out tinkering around with HTML and programming in his parents' basement--can make a living of his hobby, and challenge the status quo of media empires without selling out. My website was a shoestring operation for many years, completely funded by me, and when it blew up, I started getting more traffic than some of the biggest commercial sites out there. It's still completely self-funded, by the way. The Internet has finally given a voice to people who aren't rich or well-connected.

maddoxreddit479 karma


maddoxreddit385 karma

No, I'm not an idiot, if that's what you're asking, and I think it is. After my E70 I bought a Nokia E90, which was a fantastic phone. It had a powerful GPU with full OpenGL support, like 2-3 years before the iPhone came around. I was running full-screen Quake 1, 2, and QIII: Arena on it, in addition to SNES and GBA emulators (youtube: E90 quake). The keyboard was incredible; complete with tilde, ctrl, and pipes. I loved that phone. I currently use a Nokia N97, and just to prove I'm not some mindless Nokia fan-boy, here's the truth about the N97: it kinda sucks.

I can't, in good conscience, recommend the phone to anybody other than perhaps iPhone users, who are stuck with their functionally crippled pieces of shit. The N97 has a lot of UI shortcomings and is just plain stupid in many regards, but even with all its shortcomings, still has a browser that supports flash, tethering capability, 3.5 G support, an FM tuner, FM transmitter, hot swappable micro-SD cards, 90% of the apps available on iPhone, the ability to replace your own battery, and buttons.

maddoxreddit352 karma

I like it when I inspire people, and they acknowledge me as their inspiration. I hate people who plagiarize me. I like the word shitfucks.

maddoxreddit313 karma

Someone asked this question but it was deleted when I tried to reply, so here's the question and my answer anyway:

You've chosen to make the leap from your website to projects that involve other mediums. Do you think that ignoring your website to focus on these other projects has hurt the chances of your other projects being successful?

I think the only thing that will hurt the chances of my other projects being successful is if my other projects suck. And I don't intend on letting that happen. I work really hard at everything I do, and I don't like to half-ass any of the work I put out. I don't think people will buy everything I put out simply because my website is popular. Similarly, I don't think people would shun my other projects if my site were unpopular, so long as the projects are good.

Anyone who thinks the success of my book or other projects is due solely to my website's popularity need only see candid forum posts of people who think my articles suck. I get no favors for being popular. In fact, if anything, popularity has hurt me, because there's this whole contingent of elitist dipshits out there who think they're the arbiters of cool, and as soon as they discover that someone else likes their favorite band, author, website, or movie, they stop liking it. I'll never forget the first time I encountered it on a forum. Someone posted a link to my site, and some chick replied "Oh you've heard of Maddox too? Now I don't like him." Idiot.

I've never disliked anything or anyone simply because it was popular. And I'm not even sure I can ever really reach mainstream popularity, because my site takes a big ol' shit on advertisers, families, and most dumbass social conventions--you know, 90% of the things most people like. Many of my friends and family don't even know about my website or writing.

It's like a secret that a few million people are in on. Even if my website got 10 million unique visitors per month (it doesn't), that's a huge number for a website, but that's what? 3% of America? It puts this little social phenomenon in perspective...

maddoxreddit302 karma

Yes, I love Adult Swim. I haven't been in touch with them directly, though. I watch Adult Swim whenever I get a chance, and love most of their programming. "Super Jail" is one of the best pieces of animation I've ever seen.

maddoxreddit299 karma

My mom hates me on and off every week. She told me that she hoped that I'd get cancer and that my book would fail right before I went on book tour. Well, I shouldn't say "hoped," because she actually threw her hands in the air and prayed for it to happen.

maddoxreddit286 karma

No regrets. People always ask me that, as if they're unaware of my ability to start monetizing my site whenever I want. I could have done it 5 years ago when someone asked me the same thing. I'm aware of all the money I could be making, and in exchange I would have to sacrifice my voice and freedom to say what I want uninhibited by the threat of advertisers pulling their content? No thanks.

Advertisers threatening censorsihp is the reason awesome bits like the masturbating bear aren't on Conan anymore. That, and NBC douchebaggery.