IAmA 27 year old guy that got the lapband while weighing 440 pounds...lost 225 and had skin reduction. Now writing a book on the psychological effects of weight loss

You probably don't remember me. We went on a date in my senior year of high school. We saw the movie "waiting". We talked for a little after that. We had continued talking up until around you got your Lap-Band.

Then you lost weight and became nasty and under interested in me. I never knew why. I assumed it was because I was also fat. Or maybe it was because I had strong opinions about the lap-band because you were suggesting it to me and I didn't like the idea of a foreign body in my body.

With that said.... You began sleeping with a girl I knew from high school and I saw your transformation with the band.

That inspired me to get gastric bypass. I had my surgery in may 2012. I'm down over 180lbs.

I saw you at the middle country beer garden a few months ago. You still look good. You did a good job.

Thanks for inspiring me to get my surgery. It's completely changed my life. I'm currently now working with bariatric patients.

Who did your plastics? I'm looking for a surgeon currently.

EDIT: I had no intent on being "creepy". I am not stuck in the past or still hung up on this guy. It was honestly meant to be like "hey. I was a bitch to you for getting the lap band. HOwever... I had weight loss surgery a few years after you because I saw your success and I was inspired." Next time I know to say just that instead of a story.

Dr. Joseph Capella. And weight has never been a reason for me being uninterested but..sorry you feel that way.. Congrats on your achievements

why on earth would you post this publicly ? :S the questions are legit but the fact that you'd post the first bit leads me to believe you might need to think about your social skills.

Interesting background to OP's experiences, I think. Although I think you're right with the social skills bit.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but perhaps deathlooksbad was merely trying to validate her post and prove that she actually knew him in real life. With that being said, it is entirely true that this message would have served better as a PM, and not as a public post.

it is fine and i don't mind it being said. I am generally open about many aspects of what i went through. Yes it is a bit...more specific for the internet world...but yet i guess it can give some insight to me a bit more. I for one am not going to bash anyone for that thought

Everybody's giving you shit for this comment even as the OP writes (and is heavily upvoted for) comments like this:

I lost all this weight and people that knew me back in high school were ever so much more nicer. Girls were asking me out on dates when they rejected me back in the day. Its great actually. I get to see how superficial some people are and I can act accordingly...

Reminds me of every discussion of the friend zone, ever, where dudes conveniently forget about the unattractive women that they're rejecting while they whine about those hot bitches.

I never whined about hot people but yea i can see where you can think that. The woman talking about our experience together...we did not date...we went to a movie and talked. There was no romantic involvement. So it is a bit out of context but is something to think about...thank you

Actually, I think this is very interesting- OP has implied that girls who weren't interested in him when he was fat but are now he's "attractive" are shallow, and here he is doing the same thing to someone else! Obviously he won't admit it, but I hope that if the reasons for his lack of interest are indeed to do with weight he can explore it honestly in the book.

That being said, congrats deathlooksbad on the weight loss!

I will be perfectly honest, I really do not remember the specifics of the reasons for things not working out. I do know that I never judged anyone based on weight. As i have said in other posts, having weight on them does not mean unhealthy. Just like being skinny does not mean you are healthy. There were probably factors that played into what had happened but to be honest and truthful...that was over 6 years ago and do not remember. I apologize to Death if she feels i was rude. Was not my intentions but congrats on her weight loss and i wish her the best...

Now to be a normal redditor...lets focus on my book? ::rolls eyes::

Did you just wake up one day and realize you didn't want to be fat anymore or was it a gradual process?

Anything you kind of miss about being overweight?

Me and my father do not have a great relationship emotionally. Business wise we do but for the most part we have nothing in common outside of work related issues. One day he sat me down and said

"Gregg. I am worried. You are getting really heavy and it is severely unhealthy. I don't want you to die. I don't want to bury you. You need to do something and I want to help."

That is when he showed me the lap band. I talked to my doctor as well (who is my fathers high school friend) He told me he didn't want to be my doctor unless i actively did something. He didn't want to go either

Those 2 people made me realize how bad I was. That was when I started doing research.

Took me about 6 months of research and even did a public speaking presentation on the lab band vs gastric bypass in my college course. A lot of people supported me and It was very helpful. Those that said i was cheating...didn't let get to me

Fuck all those people who say it's cheating. My wife had gastric a year ago and I'm still in awe of all the changes she's made and had to stick with to make sure she stays healthy.

Rock out and Good for your wife..proud of her. Send her my regards

"I don't want to bury you."

My grandpa said those words to me after a discussion of my weight, he died a few months later when he got stung by a bee. If this wasn't motivation for me to get healthy I don't know what would be.

it was really one of the few moments in my life that had me in awe and not in a good way

Do you think such an experience improved your relationship with him?

Edit* Me and my father still don't have THAT much of an emotional attachment. We have an understanding of one another. He is proud and i know he is but he isn't one to say much. It is what it is

But isn't that the Italian way? ;)

it pretty much is haha kudos and upvote

Was there a reason you chose lap band over gastric bypass? I'm just curious because I know a gastric bypass surgeon who refuses to do lap band procedures. (Says they're less effective.)

I have heard the lapband is less effective...I think that because you have to go for tightenings and it takes time to actually get to the point where you lose optimal weight. If you don't go and get it tightened, you plateau very quickly and won't drop weight. Then again if you are dieting and exercising with it...you will drop weight regardless

Like all these procedures you have to be mentally and emotionally ready. It is only a tool. I have a number of patients who simply ate their way back to obesity after their surgery and tell everyone " it doesnt work".

Which is why i say

If it's a quick fix...why do people fail

and if it doesn't work why do people succeed

I have been overweight all of my life. After college I changed my diet and increased my exercise. After the first 6 months or so dropped around 75 lbs and felt great. I had a lot of great support from my close friends but once the weight was lost they treated me the same as before. My more casual friends or as I came to learn my more "superficial" friends treated me much differently like I had become this totally different person. That was kind of shocking to me. To know that I had gained worth in some peoples eyes by loosing weight made me a little spiteful. I wonder if you experienced any of the same feelings?

Was WAITING for this. YES. YES. YES.

I lost all this weight and people that knew me back in high school were ever so much more nicer. Girls were asking me out on dates when they rejected me back in the day. Its great actually. I get to see how superficial some people are and I can act accordingly...

Needless to say..don't talk to many high school friends anymore

Edit* I know that sounds bad and after re reading it..yea makes me sound douchey which is obviously deserved. As an edit i would like to say...the mental changes in me make me remember how they acted to me when i was big. Is it right for them to deny me...hell yes...and i agree. But at the same time...they want to try and get to know me now...which should be a good thing...I tend to have that semi spiteful memory of when they rejected me. It is something i'm trying to move past...again there are issues i have not been able to address from weight loss...I am in no way shape or form perfect but am trying to learn from this

So I've gotta ask regarding the being rejected in high school thing. Given the size you are now, would you pursue someone that was as overweight as you used to be? I understand that there is more to a person than their appearance, but being that size is also a lifestyle choice. One that revolves around lots of eating and usually eating very unhealthy things. Can you honestly blame someone for not wanting to be involved with someone with such an unhealthy lifestyle?

If a person is healthy then i am open to them. If they only eat garbage and don't try and be healthy...probably won't.

I don't blame anyone for not being with me when i was fat. Never have...never will. It is a two way street and if I'm not healthy..why would someone WANT To be with me. Personality only gets you so far

Random fun fact, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I posted something on my cake day.

And thanks for the answer!

congrats Upvote the cake

...but you didn't lose your weight through exercise and diet, either. I don't get why you've cast this arbitrary distinction on "acceptable/datable" and "unacceptable/undatable" if they're both equally overweight, considering you found surgery necessary for yourself.

actually i did lose it through diet and excercise. The band didn't do anything but help me moderate my diet. Unless you think the band got rid of the food in my system. I still had to diet and exercise. But yes I am a bit spiteful. Not perfect and only human.

Healthy and unhealthy is not the same as "normal" and overweight

While I'm not a fan of superficial people in general, is it really fair to call people superficial or shallow for doing things like not asking people on dates they don't find attractive?

There seems to be this weird sentiment on Reddit and elsewhere that people should be dating others exclusively for their personalities, which is of course absurd for anyone entering into a sexual relationship. Calling people shallow for not wanting to enter a sexual relationship with someone they have no sexual attraction to?

To me, it seems like calling gay dudes misogynists for refusing to date women. It just makes no sense whatsoever.

Oh no no. it isn't their fault. Physical attraction brings the ability to have emotional experiences and personality compliments of each other.

My big thing was that I used to have a crush on someone in high school. They wanted NOTHING to do with me. All of a sudden now they do. In essence i guess i'm spiteful of them wanting to be with me now rather than then...and i can't see how that isn't fair to them. I never claimed I was a saint and part of the book is based on the negatives of myself that come into play...this being one of them.

but yea..people need to be attracted to someone physically, i believe, to engage in the personality traits of that said person

I went through this in high school. I'm a girl and in high school I kinda hit my limit and did the Atkin's diet. I have mixed feelings about the diet itself, because it worked wonders for me and I lost about 80 pounds over the course of 7-8 months. The differences in the way people treated me (both those people I knew and then the attention I got from strangers after the weight loss) really fucked with my head though.

I ended up gaining all the weight back in half the time (someone said elsewhere in this thread that sugar/carbs is an addiction--so incredibly true. I had one plate of pasta at a restaurant after my weight loss as a "reward" and everything went downhill from there) and have been kind of stuck in this situation ever since (I'm 24 now). The thing is I'm pretty confident, and on good days, I know that I'm pretty. I'm fairly active but not enough to induce weight loss.

But every time I start to consider losing weight I think back to that experience and how much it saddened me. Not an excuse, but it freaks me out. Like somewhere in the back of mind I think I have this twisted idea that I want to find someone I love who loves me right now, and THEN I'll lose weight. Just to be sure their love is true. It's such a screwed up way of thinking but I can't seem to let it go. Stories like yours though are pretty inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing and good luck!

edit: left something out

One thing i learned. I lost the weight for me. Not for anyone else. You should want to lose the weight for you. I understand that fear of gaining the weight...trust me...it is mortifying...but if you are letting that stop you from achieving your goals..you are just gonna miss out on all the positive changes you can make. I bet you are a beautiful woman regardless of weight. The important thing is being healthy. Weight loss comes with being healthy but even if you are heavier...if you are healthy that is the important thing. I hope you find what you need to to achieve the goals you want to achieve. Best of luck

I wouldn't assume the women now asking you out are superficial, but rather normal human beings. You were literally twice the size you are now, and I wouldn't call someone superficial for denying your.advances. They just didn't find morbid obesity attractive in a mate, and lets be honest, hardly any do.

i agree and it is a mental thing that I still am overcoming. I know it isn't wrong for them to deny me...i understand but i still have spite...i am only human

I would have done this to my picture.

And possibly this.

edit: nsfw?

haha i think ill upload that on the page now..kudos

I'm glad that even while you did gain weight, you still stayed strong. What motivated you to keep hitting the gym? Was it because of that you knew you had to drop the weight?

Honestly...The waist. I was a size 60 inch waist. I'm now a 36. Seeing my pants just get smaller and smaller and smaller...was such a GOOD feeling. Being able to see muscle was too. I was feeling these emotions I never had. I was more positive. More Social. Weight training made me feel better. I was able to run. I ran 5 miles the other day...I was NEVER able to do that. It was something that just makes me go "wow. I don't have these limits anymore...how far can i go"

and that's how I started. Right now i want to be able to do pike pushups. That's a long way to go but hell...i got much more time now :)

60 to 36 is amazing. That's enough room to have an entire person in your pants with you.

I still ohave a pair of the pants. Ill see if i can find them and take a picture. I fit into one leg

ahh george forman jeans...how i miss them haha

Congrats on the big turn around.

What is your assessment of the lapband vs. the 'traditional' diet and exercise? There have been reported some other health benefits associated with the lapband surgery, including a dramatic effect on diabetes(way too lazy to find the articles/studies, hopefully someone else will cite my sources for me). Aside from the weight, what changes in your health have you and your doctor noticed?

I had sleep apnea and some diabetic traits...all of that is gone. I have perfect blood pressure, sugar levels and bloodwork is PERFECT. I do take some extra vitamins and such but i try to keep it to food nutrients rather than one source vitamins. I do take CO-Q10 and fishoil but I get most of my omega's and such from flaxseed and such. My overall health has increased exponentially. My ability to actually perform tasks (naturally) increased

One of my MAJOR increases..and guys pay attention. Labido and sex drive Through the freaking roof. Man, it is just...DAMN. Lets just leave it at that haha

Awesome, that's really good to hear.

Was the surgery easy and affordable? Do you think this is going to be something that becomes very common for those larger people who are having a hard time with diet and exercise, due to disability or whatever?

The lapband cost me 8000 with insurance. The skin reduction i promised myself the day of surgery. I kept a separate bank account and each paycheck i put money into it. It almost cost 30,000 buck and i paid it in cash. I saved up and that was my "Long term goal" that i just kept going for.

I do NOT condone the lap band or gastric to anyone that isn't serious about changing their life style. People that say "i'm just gonna get the band and lose weight" I want to punch in the face. I think THAT pisses me off more than anything. That is a disgrace to those that are successful in this procedure and have actively changed themselves

Jeez, that's a hefty sum of money there. But it sounds like to you, at least, it was well worth it. Can you explain the skin reduction surgery? Is there any scaring or anything from it?

That's a good point. The very few people I've talked to who've undergone the procedure have mentioned how it was just one part of a total lifestyle overhaul, and not just another 'diet.' I understand there are actually health risks with not changing your habits after the surgery?

Yes. I will post in my original post the skin reduction before and after pics. There is a LOT of scaring...A LOT. It was the worst 3 months of my life after the skin reduction. I would NOT do it again and happy i did it all at the same time.

I had to move home for those 3 months and have my mother help me with the ports sticking out of my body and changing myself. Changing bandages and showering. It was very humiliating but I got over it

Dang. What's going to be the permanent effects there? Possibility for laser treatment on the scars, or you just gonna wear them like trophies of your success?

Well I am getting them reduced but right now I use them as openers...

Girl: "What happened to your arm?" Me: "I got mauled by a bear...bastard though it could take me" Girl: What? Me: I was in canada and that's what they do...you never heard of it? You should come with me...they have some cute little cubs i bet you can take on.

Haha, I too commonly go for bear mauling when explaining old scars.

Also, I have to say, you're fucking built dude. How tall are you?

5'11 weighing 215-220 depending on day

Oh smooth. Very nice.

there are a few others but nothing really special.

I had breast reduction surgery going from a HH down to a D and I can tell you the drains are horrible aren't they! I can't imagine how many you had, but good for you in getting it done. I'm only 3 weeks in and the scaring is starting to itch, that part blows as well! lol

Congrats on the weight loss and sticking to it.

i had 6...only for the chest, stomach and back...2 each. They SUCKED so bad..

How do you look at overweight people, specifically overweight people you do not know or overweight people you know who are not trying to lose weight?

Anyone that is trying to better themselves, I have all the respect in the world for. It is something that does take a lot of will power and determination. Those that are overweight and tell me that they said that they tried dieting and it just doesn't work...I get a bit upset with. I know it isn't my place to say but when someone tells me that, I don't believe for a second they actively tried to diet. I had to write everything down to realize how many calories I was taking in. I was averaging over 6000 calories a day. Before the surgery I would slowly change my diet. Down to 5000 then 4500 then 4200 then 3900. I lost 50 pounds before the surgery but did it anyway because I wanted to see this through. I know I went to an EXTREME but it made me realize what a life style I was living and how changing it helped me exponentially. Those that say they don't care...as long as it doesn't effect others...so be it. But those that are so fat, that they can't walk into a wal-mart without using an oxygen tank and an electric car...upset me. I try to have sympathy but for some reason whenever I see them...it just pisses me off. I believe it is just a psychological reminder of what I could have been. It isn't an attack at them but almost an outward anger that should be brought towards myself for getting that way. I put myself to a very high standard and realizing that what they look like could have been me...i think just causes an anger that I can't really suppress. I'm working on it but it is something i'm still trying to change in myself

Do you feel people who get the lap band are taking the "easy way out" as opposed to dieting and exercise?

I can say first hand that it was not easy. The band itself is a tool not the answer. I had to work hard as hell to get to where i am. The people that think it is the easy way out have no idea and don't understand. The psychological is harder than the physical in weight loss. If you can conquer the psychological aspects of weight loss the physical will come in time. It is a life altering change and should be taking slowly and carefully

Damn man. Thats whats up. I say as long as you continue maintaining your fitness no goal is out of reach. How difficult were the first few weeks after your surgery? Was it tough being full so fast, or by that point were you simply ready to be fit? Jerio it up!

Actually the first few weeks I got upset. I gained weight the first month. I was like...what the hell. The doctor told me it is normal since I was on liquids for so long. I cheated a lot. It didn't happen overnight. I slowly of the course of the years changed my diet. I cut out fast food, beer and soda..though soda and beer were no no's since i would puke it up.

btw I THREW UP A LOT. I was bad. It was something I tried to get used to. I had to learn to rechew my food and understand the difference between stuffing my face and actually chewing..taking my time...and swalling.

I was more like a duck than a pig. Pigs tend to chew. I just swallowed food whole

I hear you in regards to beer and soda (mostly soda for me.) Im assuming it is the carbonation from drinks that upsets your stomach? I hope the food that you do eat now tastes better!

learned to love it. Sugar tastes like crap to me now...well minus just a little bit of honey in my tea before bed because I do enjoy just a lil from time to time

After cutting sugar from my diet completely, i lost all cravings and desire for it... sugar really is addictive. Fruit is now the most amazing thing in the world to me for sweets.

its amazing right. I have no urge for it anymore and can't be more pleased

Man...your life sounds like mine...just a little more spread out. I wrestled heavyweight in school too, and had to cut weight after football season in high school to make 275. I got up to 415 myself. Had a gastric bypass at 35 and now I am 210 and run marathons and triathlons. I am getting ready to my first Ironman.

This was in my local paper just this week: http://hamptonroads.com/2012/08/after-nearly-200pound-weight-loss-new-horizons-await

Here is a me before/after: http://imgur.com/GKmvV

Don't really have a question. Just found the similarities interesting.

Rock out Brotha. The marathons and triathlons aren't my thing yet. I am working on my running. That probably is the next hurdle for me but havn't committed to that yet just based on the time i don't have due to work

I know that feel! I wasn't as fat but I was around 330lbs when I graduated high school. I was, at one point, down to ~205lbs. Let myself go and gained 30lbs in the last year. Getting back on it and getting back down to that weight.

Wish I could afford the surgery for the excess around my stomach that won't go away.

Congrats! How do you feel psychologically now versus then? EDIT: How tall are you? I'm 6'6", so the weight was a bit more evenly spread out. Football player.

i'm 5"11 the weight made me round.

One of the issues i have is that i used to make fun of my weight when I was fat. It was a defense mechanism so others wouldn't make fun of my weight since I already did it. I still do it from time to time but people now think i'm being an asshole to those that are overweight. Some of my defense mechs that made me be the fat jolly guy..make me look like a real asshole

Same here. It was something to help me not think about it. Hell, I couldn't see my toes, much less my stuff, without looking in a mirror. I let others make fun of me and I'd go along with it. I had no self-confidence. Even got asked, by a girl, to the senior prom and I denied her.

Ill tell ya what i'm not used to: Girls coming and talking to me when i go out. I guess I just look very confident now. I talk to anyone and everyone. If i see a girl at the gym or out at a club or bar and i think they are worth talking to...I will go up and strike up a conversation. I know that I'm acting like the guy i used to look at and go "What an asshole" but I realize it isn't being an asshole...it is being confident in yourself and wanting to do what you want.

The self confidence thing i struggle with when i'm alone. I get those thoughts that i suppress and I do have some down time moments...and then I just try and force it with an over abundance of energy and positivity ...that normally helps me

I was a 5'8 lanky Asian nerd for the majority of my life, averaging about 120 pounds...after a few years of research, dieting, and exercise, I've evened out to a nice 145-150 pound guy (I guess I look more "normal" now), and I actually wanted to say that, I can relate on some level the psychological effects you're feeling...once you've been through that, you consider "if I could do it, surely, ANYONE could, you just have to be mentally dedicated...of course, my struggle was coming up from underweight, but I admire anyone with enough mental grit to push themselves to the results they've set out for themselves. Good on you, man, you're an inspiration to a lot of people, teaching that goals are achievable if you're willing to stick it out

thanks man. I find that people that have trouble gaining weight and me have a lot in common. We have semi different experiences but the psychological tends to be very similar

I think it would be really interesting to hear some more of the psychological effects of going from fat to buff. Are there any negatives in this sense? Are you meaner to people or come across as an asshole at times?

Completely different, but I was late bloomer with an insane metabolism. One of the smallest kids of my friends and just skinny. Senior yeah hit and I finally started to grow. Couple years later and I'm the tallest kid of my friends. But was still skinny, started working out and got pretty big. Sometimes I still have that "little man" syndrome though I think, and have more and more people say I come across as a douchebag sometimes. I shrug it off, but it's probably true.

Yes there are negatives. I speak my mind more frequently. I was the AFC: Average Frustrated Chump. I was the nice guy. I was called the "Teddy bear" of friends. When a girl broke up with a guy..she would sit with the teddy bear and talk and cry...then a new guy came along and the teddy bear was put on the shelf....that was me.

I have a shorter temper a bit. I don't like to take bullshit. when i feel someone is talking crap, I just call them out and then walk away. I am a little harder on people that bitch about not being able to lose weight and I am even more of an asshole to people that say i'm cheating. I laugh but it actually does bug me.

Like i said in another post...I actually don't like seeing overweight people struggling with tasks. I think it is an inner fight with my old self. I want to throw away everything about my old fat self and create a new...but whenever i see someone with an oxygen tank in an electric cart, eating a big mac in wal-mart...i just..get fed up

Good job man, keep it up!

Thanks. Still got some way to go. But it is definitely nice to consider myself normal size haha. That sounds weird saying

Your nutflap is hanging out in the last picture.

haha what can i say...I gots them

What is your power animal?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx7s4ubNH50 A penguin. That is me at electric zoo

I heard a lot of people who use the lapband (and other weight-loss procedures) become alcoholics when they lose weight. What's your opinion on this?

I was a bit of a alcoholic for a bit. Liquir is quicker and yea my nickname changed to "Papa Booze" for a short period of time. I cut back myself but I didn't hear anything about it directly effected by the lapband.

have you thought about doing more research into this since you a writing a book on the 'psychological effects' of weight loss?

well it has been things that have happened to me. Actual experiences...though you do make a point and i probably will

What do you are some of the best ways to start a diet and losing weight? Right now I am a 6 foot 300 pound and used to play football. I'm trying to find a good rhythm and ambition to do so. Any help would be appreciated.

What i did before the band.

Get a salt and pepper book or a 5 star notebook. Don't diet but just right down EVERYTHING you eat. I mean it. EVERYTHING. If you have 1 oreo...write it down. Find out your total calorie intake. Do that for a week or two and you will realize why you are gaining weight. It is amazing that the little snacks we eat or just add to stuff will make it THAT much more fattening.

After i figured out what I was eating, I slowly changed it. Make SMALL reduction first. I cut out sugar as much as i could. No soda...gallon of water a day. hot tea, Diet Green Tea. Fast food is your enemy. After that...the weight started falling off.

The gym is great to start. Jog, run, Olyptical..it doesn't matter..get your heart rate up. Who cares how bad you start at. It allows you to make improvements...with improvements comes confidence...with confidence comes pride in your own body...and from there you will make efforts to better yourself and prove you can attain the goals you set

I use http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ instead of a notebook. I have the iPhone app version of it. You have to be really obsessive about recording, but it has a lookup feature to help you figure out the calories of things you eat. Like OP, I had no idea how much I was eating before - probably 3000+ calories a day. I'm down to 2000 now.

The key for me is to not forbid myself anything. I still drink beer and eat ice cream, but I'm pretty strict at keeping myself within the limits. That means having a cookie, or a dish of frozen yogurt, or a couple of beers, but not all of them. The weirdest thing is that my cravings for sugar have gone way down. I used to find an excuse to eat one sweet thing a day. Now, I'll go a week without eating dessert because I'd rather use the calories for beer. :)

Rock out brotha/sista..keep up the good work. And yes MFP is great

Congrats on your change! How much have you spent on new clothes? It's a good problem to have, but nevertheless a problem. No?

I was lucky. I just bought belts that could expand in belt holes. I wore baggy clothes for a long time. A size 60 inch waist to 36...was troublesome. But i had a lot of old clothes that still fit me while getting fat...so i could just wear them again. I actually just fit into a shirt that hadn't fit me since 15

Hi, I'm struggling to lose weight, can I have some advice?

I do 20 minutes cardio a day and I try to eat as little as possible.

This works well until I give in and just eat anything and everything. How can I stop this?

Now I don't know what your body type is or what your diet is. I am not a nutritionalist nor am I a personal trainer...i'm more so just talking about what worked for me. What I say shouldn't be taken as what a doctor or a professional would say.

but if i were to say anything Eating as little as possible is not a good way to be healthy. You need to eat Healthy. Calories are energy for your body. Fats are not bad in moderation. Protein and good carbs help with building muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories your body naturally burns. You are eating little and then you get the cravings. Those cravings is your body telling you..."Dude...Feed me you bastard". You need to have healthy things around. Have vegetables at the ready.

My vegetables of choice. Peas, string beans, sugar snap peas, edamame. These are my favorites. Decent sources of protein and low calories (edamame is a little high)

Try and change up the cardio. HIIT Cardio has been AWESOME for me. It may be a bit much for someone that doesn't run a lot but it definitely is something you might want to look into

Can you describe the difference between how strangers would treat you before and after your transformation?

when i was big and go to a party. I was the outgoing big guy and would make jokes and do stand up type crap and make fun of my weight. People were fine around me and some would think i'm just a fat bastard. The guys normally were cool with me and girls with boyfriends were cool with me. But if i hit on a girl..she would either be weirded out or think i'm just joking

I go to parties now - I get a lot of looks by guys like i'm an asshole. Girls tend to come up to me much more and talk. Guys with girlfriends are holding on to girls a bit more closely whenever i talk. I have had guys tell me to stop hitting on his girl when i was honestly just talking. I was a flirt when i was fat but it is taken differently when i'm better looking.

not trying to sound cocky or snobbish but it is something i tend to notice more of

Glad that you made these huge step ups. Also It's good that the scars are almost invisible. You really are an example for those who are too lazy to exercise (myself included).

actually a lot of scars are visible on my arms. They are pretty bad but they are covered in many of my pictures. I am getting them reduced but just havn't had the time

is the book a memoir about the psychological effects of weight loss that you personally experienced, or is it more broad?

right now it is about me. I do not have any degrees in psychology. It is more personalized experiences that have happened to me and the reasons i believe they are happening to me. I think it is better to give experiences that way than trying to put scientific terms to it. ::Shrug:: It is something that helps me keep moving forward with my training