IAMA Utøya survivor

I, as a fellow Norwegian, just want to say I'm proud of you for doing this and that I hope you are doing well. I think the nation collectively went into shock when it happend. I felt physically sick and in a daze for days after watching it unfold on TV.

I hope you'll continue to be passionate about your causes and politically active. You guys are the future of the nation.

Thank you.

A friend of mine passed away that day, probably the most kind person i've ever met. Even though I know what happened, curiosity leads me to this question:

Did you know Emil? (Nord Trønderlag). If so, how was he like? Did you see him before he passed away?

I never got the chance to get to know Emil, but I am from Nord Trøndelag, I did not see much of him during everything but I am aware of that he was murdered not far from me. After all I have heard about him I have come to the conclusion that when he died, Norway and the nation lost a great man.

My condolences.

You say you saw him twice and heard him once. What was he saying/yelling?

Did you witness any acts of heroism, such as people helping others escape? Or was it basically a giant free-for-all (everybody running to escape wherever they could?)

My sincerest condolences for everything you've experienced.

He was yelling at one point telling everyone to come out form where they were hiding, (sorry for grammar mistakes), and that he was a police officer her to help us, I did not come forward. This was near the pump house, if you have heard about it, 15 people or so was murdered there.

Where i was laying, there was a girl who was shot 4 times, she survived because of everyone around her was trying to help her, she was laying on top of one person so she would not get cold and there where two or three persons who where compressing her wounds.

Hi, my son Espen was killed by 'pumpehuset', big sturdy guy(190cm) did you meet him? (Espen from Bodø)

I do not believe so, you must remember that we where almost 600 people, there are so many people I wish I had the possibility to meet or get to know them better.

Just a shot in the dark! Today i can account for most of his movements the last hour of his life, but I'm still looking for details. So when i saw you mentioning 'pumpehuset' I just had to ask...

I understand.

This may be a bit personal, but if you had the opportunity to confront Breivik is there anything you wish you could tell him? Also, thank you to you and your fellow Norwegians for the civil way everyone has responded. It's an attitude I wish more people in my country would emulate.

That I get why he did it, but I that I think that going after children, I consider my self still a child, is way beyond every other choice he could have chosen to prove his point.

This has to be one of the greates statements i ever read. A teenage girl nearly gets killed by a mass murderer and has the composure, wisdom and greatness to think his motivations through and prove his actions to be wrong even in his own fuckedup logic. I think this would get to him more than any insult or appealing to his conscience ever could.

You, just made my day.

I hate to be the guy that says this but is there anyway you can prove you were there?

And my condolences for everything that happened it must have been horrific....

I can prove it with a news article, if that is enough? But it is in Norwegian...

http://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/article3196838.ece

my username; SMT32016, where SMT are the first letters of my name. Silje Melhus Tobiassen

A picture of your ID (just blur out the sensitive information) could be proof. Not that I have any doubt, just a lot of redditors tend to take these post a lot less serious when they are without proof.

how do i do that? (i'm an idiot when it comes to internett -.-')

Just take a picture of your identification that got name and image (even tho the image is probably like 5 years old :P) with your phone and post it through imgur.com (the image uploader people use for reddit). If there is any information on the identification you don't want to be on the internett, just draw over it using paint or something! :)

Oh thanks x]

http://imgur.com/f6Lt9

My court ID

What was your first indication that something was amiss? Did somebody tell you, or did you see him?

Stay strong!

Well, we had just had a meeting in the main building about what had happened in Oslo when we heard the first shots. And when suddenly people star running up from the pier and was screaming/yelling "run, hide" etc, you understand something is wrong. But I did not understand the gravity of what was going on until right before I was transported away form the island and could really see everything.

At what point did you realize that Anders wasn't a real cop?

When I saw him kill a person.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Did Anders look insane when you saw him? I know that's morbid but I want to know how he composed himself.

Well, he did not look insane, just surprisingly calm...

I think that's what's insane. From hearing what he's saying now during the trial, he seems to have exactly zero emotions that aren't centered around himself.

I know, that is the reason this trial is so though on everyone involved.

It's tough even for those of us who didn't know any victims, so my deepest sympathy to you. Do you have any thoughts on tomorrow's proceedings, as Lippestad has warned that it will be the hardest day yet?

That is exactly what it is going to be, the hardest day. That is why i have to go to court.

The media (at least in the UK and USA) keep on bringing up that Breivik played World of Warcraft and that he trained using computer games. What are your thoughts on this?

That WoW has nothing to do with it, I like MMORPG myself.

I'm glad that you think that. Thanks for doing this AMA. Good luck with becoming a nurse.

Thank you.

Dear Silje. Thank you for doing this AMA. I am a member of the swedish equivalence to AUF, SSU. As a fellow member of a socialdemocratic youth league in the neighboring country I can't stop to think about Utöya every time a attend a camp or SSU lecture.

Everything I can think about is that it could have been SSU instead of AUF, Bommersvik instead of Utöya, and me instead of our lost friends. This both scares me and fills me with anger, but all in all makes me want to continue even more.

My question to you is: if you could change anything about how news about the trial and Utöya in general has been, what would you change? I ask this because in my opinion the fact that Breivik targeted socialdemocrats isn't being reported as much.

AUF, vi älskar er!

Well, I think a lot of the things that hit the front page of the big newspapers are a lot of bullshit, in my opinion it would be better if they cold stick more to the case, and give more and purer info instead of sticking there mics and faces up in ours. Concentrate on the important things.

How did you hide? Were you with anybody, or just on your own? Can you try to explain the emotions you had, while he was there?

Fellow scandinavian here, I hope you're you're doing all right despite everything that has happened.

In the beginning I was hiding alone, until i saw him again, and found out i should hide somewhere else, I found about 8 persons or so to hide with.

Can you provide more detail than just that you hid, and later you hid with other people? Was it a building, the forest? What was bad about your first hiding spot. Maybe a strange request but I have been trying to wrap my head around what it must have been like since last summer.

I was in the beginning in the main building, then on the "love path", then in the water next to Bolsjevika, then in the forest above the pumping house.

Thanks for replying, I'm sorry for what you had to go through.

You are welcome.

How has your life changed since the incident? Do you consider yourself a different person because of this experience?

Of course did it change me, I've become a stronger human being. It has also made me more confident and more prescient when it comes to believing in what you stand for. I am not a person who is easily knocked down.

I was actually gonna make a request for this the other day, turns out I won't have to! :) Btw, I'm from Norway myself!

When you were at the Island and the shooting started, people obviously started calling your phone to check on you right? If so, was that a problem, could it compromise your hiding position? Were you too much in shock to put your phones on silentmode?

I sort of drowned my phoned, I was hiding in the water and I was thinking that i should make sure that my phone survived that I putt it in my bra (yes, I'm a girl) and the first thing I did when got to the water was lay down flat in the water, and therefor drowning my phone x]

How long did you stay in the water? Did you have to actually keep your head underwater for a long time?

Thanks for doing this by the way.

I never needed to keep my head under the water because i was hiding behind a tree, but i was in the water for 30-45 min.

What do you think about multiculturalism?

A good thing, the entire globe is globalizing anyway, why try to fight it?

How has this changed your life? How do you feel about Breivik and how they are choosing to punish him? Do they have capital punishment in Norway? What has helped you move on?

It has made me realize how precious life is.

I think Breivik is a man that lives by what we Norwegians call the precautionary principle, and that there will never be any way of justify his actions, nor give him a punishment that will be good enough because one does not exist. And death would be to easy.

We do not have capital punishment in Norway, a life sentence her is 21 years, after that there will be a new trial, which determines whether someone released again. He on the other hand will not be released because he will always be a threat to the kingdom.

I have coped with it all by going to a psychologist and "talked it over".

Oh I forgot, I smoke A LOT, being with friends, being at school (or trying to), and just live my life as normal as posible! ; )

Trees or tobacco?

Tobacco, the other stuff is illegal in Norway and my father was a drug addict that got killed by his own addiction, and I don't want to do the same mistake. I drink though

Sorry, I'm going to call you out on the irony.

I know, it came out a bit wrong. I smoke cigarettes , Prince Rich Taste, to be exact.

KIDS!

Smoke Prince Rich Taste

I like the taste, I want a pipe, and every other occasion cigars are suiting

Al mulig støtte fra Danmark :)

Takk ; )

Was there a time that you thought he would find you and/or got near your hiding spot?

As i posted, he was 20 m away from me when i was hiding. So yes, but he did'nt.

Did you think you were gonna die? What was your emotional state during all this?

I never thought I was going to die. I had a defense mechanism saying it was all just a game. Hide and seek, more or less.

That's interesting - so you felt calm throughout the event?

Yes

How long did it take for that to wear off, and for you to reach a new kind of state, perhaps a more emotional one? When you were leaving the island?

Yes, when I was leaving the island, and it did not go away again until a week after.

Fellow AUF'er here, i was not on Utøya though. Do you follow the trial, or are you trying to ignore it and just move on? I know that would be hard considering the huge media coverage.. Hope you are ok!

WOW, a fellow AUF'er here, AWESOME!!

I am following the trial, going there again tomorrow, to Inntrødelag tingrett, since i'm from Trøndelag.

I'm trying to only follow it personally form the court instead of watching it through the new since there are so much the media never gets right...

But i'm alive and well.

Did you go to the edge of the island like most people? When I was watching it I probably would have attempted to swim to the mainland. Did that cross your mind at any point? or was it actually too long of a swim to even attempt?

Also, have you looked at some of the images from that day or do you avoid everything to do with it?

Well it is at the shortest point form pier to pier almost 1km airline, I have asthma, so for me it was never a possibility because i would have drowned.

When you were in that situation, did your ability to think rationally about what to do next and where to go remain or was it just complete panic taking over?

and thanks for doing this, huge respect for you. Hope you and your friends can recover well.

I was rational to the point that i kept my safe and took my asthma in consideration in every action i did, i never panicked or anything.

When I heard the news I was awake for 10 minutes and talking to the kids at our youth camp. That wasn't a great day...

Did you lose people close to yourself, friends or family?

What are your thought about the trial so far?

I would say I lost two friends, and three more people I knew.

I think the trial is though and painful but we will get through it with our companionship and strength.

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Don't know, I was not there, and I do not read the newspapers because they are mostly, excuse my language, bullshit.

In what way do you find the media coverage to be bullshit? Factual errors or the emphasis? Or do you think we're overexposing some aspect?

I can't quite explain, but if you've ever read a norwegian newspaper you would know what i was talking about.

I live in Norway, and I read quite a few of them. I agree that the diet and celebrity stuff that usually covers the papers is low, but I'm wondering whether there are spesific things about this case that arr covered in a bad way. How about TV? Have you seen Nrk's coverage? What do you think?

Takk for at du gjør dette forresten. Vi tenker på dere alle sammen, hele tiden.

I have not seen the case on TV since the judge informs in the beginning for the trial everyday how much is allowed to be filmed. But after experience, the media wants one thing and that is emotions, just to take and example; when he started to cry during the viewing of his film. The media focused so much on it. So I cant say i think its good.

Takk for støtten, og du må vite at det at vi har hele Norges befolkning mer eller mindre som støttespillere betyr mye for meg og andre.

Damn Scandinavians, always so happy and shit.

No, but seriously, it's good to hear you're doing well and good luck going forward! :)

Thank you : )

I know it must be uncomfortable for you to recall but at any point during the ordeal did you actually see Breivik?

Also, do you think there needs to be a revision of Norwegian law to allow for stricter penalties for crimes as awful as those of Anders Behring Breivik?

Well, firstly i saw him twice and heard him once.

I do not believe that the penalty for his crime should be any other than for a "normal" murderer, if he got a stricter penalty for what he has done, he would have won. It would mean that he did change Norway, and that is the hole point about the trial, everyone knows he did it, there is enough evidence to get him sentenced immediately, but Norway is a democracy where everyone has the right to a fair trial.

There are A LOT of people here in Switzerland commenting on online news articles about Breivik, stating that he should be tortured, killed and whatnot. And when I'm telling them what you told us right now, they always say "Imagine your kids or yourself were in that situation" - I answer, that it's important to remain calm, reasonable and not to overthrow humanistic worldviews. You make me believe in humanity a little more, thank you. I'm really impressed. But was it hard, at some point, not to wish him dead or tortured?

I'm glad I give you a bit hope for humanity.

But for me it was not hard at all not to want him dead, because that would be to easy, and torture is against everything I believe in, so no at that to.

Thanks for answering. It's good to see that you despite what you experienced you are able to remain calm and reasonable when discussing the events of that day. Good luck in the future.

Thank you,

What actions did you take that saved your life?

Well, i naturally ran and hid.

Are you still in touch with the rest of the survivors? How are they doing now? The Breivik case has just started, and apparently you will all have to tell everything in front of the court again. Will you handle it?

We are all coping as good as possible and try to keep in touch. I do not have to witness, since the line is drawn to those hit by projectile

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Yes it is, but there are about 13 people who were not hit by projectile that still was asked to testify.

I don't know much about the AUF but I understand it's a youth organisation with political connections.

Do you plan a life in politics? And has this event changed your plans for your life in any way?

I do not plan a life in politics, i'm trying to become a nurse. And this event has only made me more confident in my choice.

Good for you, a noble profession. I hope you have a rewarding career!

As a follow-up question if you don't mind, how did you end up in the AUF? Is it kind of like a youth club that many young Norwegians join? Are the youth clubs normally associated with political parties?

I'm from the UK and we have various youth organisations but I don't believe many, or any, of them are associated with any political parties so I don't really understand why young people would be associated with a certain political alignment.

Sorry if this is bad english, i just used google translate.

ORGANIZATION AUF is the Labour Party's youth organization. We are the largest political party youth organization with over 13,900 members. We have employees in all county clerks and county at our head office located at Youngstorget in Oslo. Throughout the country, we have officers, active members, boards and local chapters.

AUF is managed daily by the central board, and are held several times a year national executive committee meetings and biennial national convention. In these meetings is determined aufs overarching policy and which way to go AUF pointed out.

At the central level, in the county and local branches held lots of events ranging from themed evenings, courses, school visits and summer camp. On these pages you can read more about some of us engaged in the AUF, find contact information for your county, and much more.

Did you see how he got arrested ? How did you know it was safe to come out from your hiding spot. And did you hear any stories afterwards about anyone thinking of tackling him from behind or something like that ?

No i did not see his arrest but my boyfriend did more or less.

Everyone on the island was thinking about tackling him or something like that.

Can you elaborate on the arrest at all?

No

How did the (Norwegian?) Muslim community react after the attacks? Was there any tension? I hope you're doing well.

Well, i cant say i know, the entire country was in shock and terror.

How often do you come across Norweigans who subscribe to right wing xenophobic ideologies?

Rarely

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I'm from trøndelag, so no, not in akerhus.

I did get some of my stuff back, but most of it I had to throw away because it was ruined.

What do you think about the trial right now? Do you wish him to be dead? I am sorry if the second question is a bit personal, but I am really curious and that's what reddit is about! Thank you for your IAMA and your time! Glad you're still with us!

I think the trial is going to emotionally rough, which it is, and i do not want him dead. It would be to easy...

Hey there, glad you're ok.. kinda felt from your comments already that you're a reasonable and calm person (or at least you seem to got over what happened), and IKR that's probably how you norwegians are, but still, how do you feel about how the court treats Breivik (as in, greeting him, allowing him to read his few-pages-long statements etc..)? Do you think it's ok he get's this free publicity for his crazy ideas now?

The reason why he gets treated so freely is that the court is afraid that if they don't go along on everything, and all his bullshit, he may refuse to testify. But it also lets everyone see how insane he is, and he proves it every day in court,

Do you think this guy who is so upset by 'multiculturalism' is mostly alone in his views, or is there a decent segment of the population that would like to keep Norway 'pure'? Not that they would act on it in such an extreme way, rather that they agree with his beliefs.

I'm not sure, I think a lot of people share his views about their own country...

Has this horrible day drawn you closer to your family and friends? Seeing Breivik using his trial as a political podium from which to express his views, how do you feel? My condolences, and thank you for doing this AMA.

I am closer to friends and family. And I don't know what I feel about Breivik using the trial as a political podium , I just knew he would.

How has this changed your outlook on humanity and life, I really don't know what to say because something like this is just so horrific. Sorry for what happened to you, I hope the rest of your life is smooth and easy.

I do not believe it has changed my view much.

Has this experience changed your routine at all? As in, are you scared to go out with friends or scared of social interaction (meeting new people, relationships, trust) or something now? Thank you for your answer. My condolences.

Not rally, I'm just a little afraid of the dark, that's all.

If you were given the chance to speak to Breivik, would you? If so, what would you say/ask?

I would not.