My cousin died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan last week. He and I grew up together. I've had a bit of a hard time but am doing well overall I think. Just a couple of tears, no break downs. However I am fucking livid this morning. I just found out WBC is planning on coming.

I plan on walking right up to them and punching at least one in the face. I know that I will go to jail for this. I don't care. AMA

My Cousin : Edit2 You guys took down the US Navy Seals blog. Here's another link stating the same thing. Try not to take down their site too.


Edit: Well, an hour after I posted this, it's taken off much farther than I expected. Between your reasoning and logic, I find myself laughing and calming down more than I have in days. You guys have shown me that regardless of how badly I want to beat the shit out of these people, it would probably be a bad idea as I would be playing into their game.

However, I still WANT to punch one of them. I doubt I will now but damnit I'm still pissed they even want to show up. So that said, ideas on how to humiliate them?

Also, yes the Patriot Guard Riders are coming. They have already accompanied us to get the body and are some truly amazing and awesome people.

Edit3 : I'm back.

Edit4 : What do you guys make of this? Think they will show or not?

Comments: 1673 • Responses: 18  • Date: 

transubstantiator1600 karma

Just so you know....they finance their operations by suing people who hit them. Seriously, some of them trained as lawyers just for this purpose.

If you hit one of them, you're going to wind up in court, and probably wind up financing their next several trips to harass funerals.

ProbablyHittingOnYou1067 karma

OP should hire some strippers to dance around them.

Zkdog243 karma

This is brilliant. I've been in awe of you ever since coming to reddit and you amaze me yet again.

Now to find strippers in the bible belt...

ProbablyHittingOnYou188 karma

Good idea. Tell the strippers to bring bibles and use them in props for their dance.

Zkdog129 karma

This may be a bad idea considering I'm probably the only non-Christian in the family and we are DEEP south.

Would be hilarious though.

priegog33 karma

And of course you must tape it for all of our enjoyment.

Zkdog74 karma

This will be done.

Zkdog98 karma

I understand more about their ways as I've been doing research this morning. There has got to be some way to hurt these people without jail/lawsuit though. I'd be down with the jail part but the lawsuit part is making me question myself now. There has to be something I can do other than just letting PGR block them out.

I know I'm just pissed and probably want to lash out but damnit man I want to hit them!

s1ntax107 karma

1) Follow them home

2) Post addresses in /b/

3) ???

4) Profit

Zkdog33 karma

I'm pretty sure they'll be staying in hotels or camping. =(

tgunner46 karma

Snipe them with a high power paintball gun. Use all frilly colors.

Zkdog46 karma

Rainbow paintballs?

tompwnsn00bs71 karma

Translation: Don't get caught.

[deleted]62 karma


monkikuso21 karma

Maybe it's in one of the states that made it illegal to film the police in their duties.

Zkdog22 karma

It's not.

Neckbeard_Chanmemes470 karma

  1. Wait a couple months
  2. Go to their church
  3. Wear a mask
  4. Punch one of them in the dick, really hard.
  5. Run like hell

Zkdog128 karma

Upvote for you good sir.

[deleted]410 karma

strip totally naked. party boy every last one of them.

Zkdog198 karma

LOL. Thanks man. This cheered me up and actually made me laugh. Brilliant.

slowbreath298 karma

Invite the Patriot Riders to stand between you and them. Listen to their calm and practiced advice for dealing with the delusional zombies who may show up. In this case, the shotgun is ill advised.

Zkdog228 karma

PGR is already riding. They rode with us to get the body and are truly amazing and awesome people.

I still want to punch one in the face.

TheKCGuy190 karma

I recommend inviting the Patriot Guard. They will make the entire day much more bearable for you and your family.

Zkdog145 karma

They are coming.

anotherusername12374 karma

if you are up for it, do you think you can do an ama after the funeral?

Zkdog108 karma

Sure. I'll be at the Rally in Washington too if anyone wants to talk face to face.

Honestly, doing this is helping me calm down and laugh much more than I have in days. AMA's are like therapy you don't have to pay for aparantly.

[deleted]20 karma

Ok so i noticed you didnt reply anything about the strippers idea ... but honestly that is by far the best idea ever. Gay male strippers, dancing around would REALLY piss these guys off. And freedom of speech and shit that they use will backfire in their face.

Oh and if you feel up to it .... wear a thong and join the strippers.

Zkdog44 karma

Check my edit. I'm torn between strippers or stripping down myself and going all party boy on them. I wonder if it's assault if my balls hit them?

triforce721114 karma

I'm in the Army, and I feel your pain. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope that you are coping. However, you do not need to assault them. They want you to hit them. You won't just go to'll get sued. It is not heroic to do this, nor is it honoring your cousin.

Though it's shitty, your cousin died defending their right to protest. You may not like it, and it may not be fair, but it's the truth.

I am begging you not to make contact with WBC. It won't just be a simple thing where you spend a few hours in jail. They will press charges, you'll get your balls sued off, and you'll have a record that keeps you from getting a job or loans.

You aren't proving anything by doing this. The WBC is comprised of sad, heartless people. Do not slink to their level. Take the high road, and, in doing so, save yourself from forever altering your future.

Zkdog60 karma

Thanks man. This changed my mind and calmed me down a lot. I just never thought we would be in this situation. I always laughed at them before and thought they were just stupid. Now I understand differently.

Xhiro67 karma This shows how they play the legal system.

You want to fight evil? You have to be more evil. Take people in masks with baseball bats and break bones. You have to go in as a team, and get as many as possible. It's hard to file a lawsuit if hands, jaws, and feet aren't working.

However, I defer to all who say discretion = better part of valor.

Zkdog16 karma

I would love this but, and this is going to sound weird after saying I want to hit them, I'm not a violent guy. I good beating is all I want to give them or at least a good solid punch. I'm not looking to maim anyone but damnit they need to be taught a lesson.

cconrad082561 karma

Walk out in front of their car and sue them. Claim they yelled "This is the rod of God".

Zkdog36 karma

Now this is just full of win.

peopleskills23 karma

Bring a dozen portable radios and play a song your cousin would've loved at full volume. Then, hang some giant sheets off of a few 8 foot poles and screen them from view. They're usually held to one small spot for protesting, nothing a decent counter protest can't squash.

Zkdog43 karma

The Patriot Guard Riders take care of this with their motorcycles and flags.

[deleted]22 karma


Zkdog13 karma

Thank you for this.