I, Dylan Moran, have returned. Or you have. Either way, we’re doing this shit again.

The Grumbling Mustard Tour returns to the US Mar 13-27. All shows and tickets at http://www.dylanmoran.com/wandering

My Proof: https://imgur.com/a/wsh8j

Thanks for everyone's questions today - its now time for me to figure out what to do with this loaf bread in a snow storm.

Comments: 577 • Responses: 20  • Date: 

Dumbledoree1239 karma

Did your non-returnable outgoings for the first half of the year exceed your deductions for quarterly VAT returns?

thedylanmoran1189 karma

Only at the terminal point of inbound outward exchanges. No differentials were exposed. Except possibly on the index of non returnables, but I did buy a lot of ritz crackers

shivan21567 karma

Hi Dylan! How much of Bernard Black is based on your real personality and experience?

thedylanmoran2181 karma

Nothing. Not one little bit. Maybe a little bit. Several bits. OK all of it. Nothing! None of your business. Go away.

nicklo2k415 karma

Hey Dylan. I really loved Black Books. Do you have any more sit-com ideas in the works?

thedylanmoran999 karma

Thank you, I am working on something as it happens. I’m planning to make a noise about it in LA.

maybeathrowaway1987374 karma

Was it your real arse at the end of Run Fatboy Run? Or did you draft in a stunt arse?

thedylanmoran903 karma

How dare you. My arse is in demand all over the world. Mongolia, right now, is out of control.

thedylanmoran272 karma

How dare you. My arse is in demand all over the world. Mongolia, right now, is out of control.

punjabiputtar271 karma

Hi Dylan! You look like you hate social media. Why do you do this?

thedylanmoran944 karma

Because the alternative means getting a job

MattQ27242 karma

Your work is exceptional in that it’s pretty grounded in reality and hard truths. I feel like you have a genuine curiosity that comes through which makes the experience of your comedy feel like more than “Entertainment” or “watching a show”, although it does happen to to be entertaining at the highest levels. Basically I’m trying to say that I feel like your work is incredibly valuable.

Would you ever, or have you ever considered (writing or otherwise) doing something like The Colbert Report -or any format really- of News/Political commentary?

thedylanmoran543 karma

In a way I’d love to have a go at this kind of thing, but I think I get side tracked by the mechanics of the madness we refer to as current affairs. We distract ourselves with the names and faces of the actors because the events are so chaotic, the warnings and the cries of ‘havoc’ never stop. I suppose shouting from inside the television is a relief from shouting at it.

Oldie65227 karma

I just have one question - how do you act drunk so well in Black Books ?

thedylanmoran754 karma

By reading about what happened to people when they drank wine.

JimmySinner215 karma

What are you doing? Where are you? What’s wrong with you? How are you still alive?

thedylanmoran285 karma

What I’m always doing, banging my potty and screaming to be noticed. What took you so long? Are you really wearing that? When will you be back?

ThronedZulu177 karma

If I offered you 1000 Euro to throw a brick at a panda, would you?

thedylanmoran461 karma

There are far too many elements in this question and not enough detail

Jess1491175 karma

What is the best advice you've been given?

thedylanmoran611 karma

Not that leopard

yuki0d163 karma

Would you consider doing podcast shows? So fans still could hear your voice and thoughts.

thedylanmoran436 karma

They can’t hear?
I’m doing all this thinking for nothing? Did nobody even get April 2004?

TheTapedHamster132 karma

What question are you sick of getting asked, apart from "why are you in such a bad mood"?

Love your work, thanks for your recent trips to the states.

thedylanmoran532 karma

I get asked: What are you doing? Where are you? What’s wrong with you? How are you still alive?

mlsurprise127 karma

So, what does Grumbling Mustard mean?

thedylanmoran320 karma

I’m not sure, it’s something that has to do with things taking a turn in your mind’s eye late at night when the edges fray, the floor rocks a little, but only you seem to notice.

ashleybesslane09108 karma

Hey Dylan - Thanks for doing this! Do you have to alter your comedy routine when you're in the US vs the other side of the pond? Also, is Bill Bailey always that disheveled-looking?

thedylanmoran221 karma

I try to talk to people, wherever I am as though we have already been talking for a while as a way of not wasting too much time; although I have no idea what I’m talking about, because it’s important to waste some time

_dictator4life_107 karma

I love your comedy, especially your ability to use surreal imagery to capture a very real moment or feeling. Is this something that comes naturally to you, or is it hard work refining the imagery show after show until it feels right?

thedylanmoran211 karma

Yoga, milk baths - any milk, except condensed

WhyRickD99 karma

Huge huge huge huge fan! I judge people based on whether they enjoy your stand up or not. I couldn't have a boyfriend if he didn't LOVE your comedy, he'd go insane.

Preface: I'm going to see Grumbling Mustard in Portland, OR on the 26th.

Question: is there anything I should bring? Cake? An eclair? Chocolate? Wine? (We could share a bottle 😉) All of the above? What do you like?

Thank you for your time Sincerely yours

thedylanmoran315 karma

Thank you very much. Bring all your boyfriends and all your cakes. Go get a room to sort out your priorities. Don’t argue with your mouth full of eclair. Nobody believes that shit.

plexxer90 karma

Dylan, which American custom confuses you the most?

thedylanmoran322 karma

I’m amazed and fascinated by the dedication to good humor and people being cheerful no matter what. At least in their public selves. On some days it seems like a very good idea on others you worry its a recipe for insanity.

Slith4289 karma

Who, besides you, is the funniest comedian alive?

thedylanmoran234 karma

They’re alive, but only just

magicsebi70 karma

Love you, Dylan! Are there any comedians you always enjoy watching? And do you have any advice for a beginner comedian? Cheers!

thedylanmoran180 karma

Watch Ali Wong, Hans Teewuen and Dave Chappelle’s stuff on race is pretty amazing. Advice: Get up and have a good time.