My real name is Aaron Caycedo-Kimura. In January 2013, I began posting cartoons on the Internet as INFJoe, my online persona. Growing up as an introvert and, in particular, an INFJ (my Myers-Briggs type) was incredibly difficult for me. With these cartoons, I wanted to encourage others like me who were feeling odd or out of place.

Since the online series was so well received, I decided to put a printed collection together to reach a wider audience. TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House, has published my first book Text, Don’t Call: An Illustrated Guide to the Introverted Life. Through comics, commentary, and tips, this book celebrates the introverted life. I want as many introverts as possible to know that they are not alone and that introversion is not a defect, but rather a matter of natural wiring.

Online, you can find my cartoons on WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

Proof: https://twitter.com/TarcherPerigee/status/895997144397619204

Thank you everyone! Thank you for coming. This has been a wonderful event. I will be signing off now.

Comments: 186 • Responses: 29  • Date: 

batzmaru72148 karma

As a fellow introvert, I'm assuming you understand the context of this question. When I have to interact with large groups of people that I don't know, I often find that I "turn on" a different extroverted personality. But I'm not actually being genuine, so it often feels kind of like I'm lying. And then if I want to actually be friends with any of these people, I feel like I have to remain "on" with them to carry it out. Do you experience this kind of double-you sensation? If so, do you have any advice on how to deal with it?

IamINFJoe104 karma

Great question. It sounds like you are a huge introvert like me. Yes, when you're with a large group of people, you have to adapt to the situation. I don't think it's lying. It's rising to the occasion. If I want to be friends with any of them, it's usually another introvert. So, if I get together with them at another time, it's ok to bring it down a couple of notches.

batzmaru7237 karma

Rising to the occasion is a great way to think of it! Thanks. :)

IamINFJoe23 karma

My pleasure. Thank you for coming and for your question.

Etulov85 karma

How do you respond to the Psychiatric community completely discrediting Meyers-Briggs personality test?

IamINFJoe26 karma

I know everyone has an opinion, and not everyone in the psyche community discredits it. All I know is that it has helped me to understand myself, the others around me, and how to relate to them. Myers-Briggs nails me to a T.

Etulov12 karma

How many times have you taken it and what were your results each time?

IamINFJoe17 karma

I first discovered Myers-Briggs in 1997. I've taken online test since then just for fun. The result is always INFJ. That's my destiny. :)

wrencerr23 karma

How were you able to figure out that you were an INFJ? I've found that the different Myers-Briggs tests give different results.

IamINFJoe21 karma

Good question. When my wife and I were dating, we found a book by Tieger and Barron called Do What You Are. We went through it together and discussed all the questions. Because we knew each other well, we we able to confirm the answers. That's how I figured out I was an INFJ. I suppose the best way to take an assessment is with a certified MBTI counselor, but I found discussing things with my wife was pretty effective.

theholydonut13 karma

Fellow INFJ here. Cool book. How do you balance your need for solitude with your need for meaningful interaction? I find it is a very, very fine line. Too much interaction with others and I'm exhausted. Not enough and I feel isolated. So I usually just oscillate between the two. Blaaaagh

IamINFJoe6 karma

I feel your pain. We INFJs are very relational. One cartoon I made compared us to a fast burning candle with an intense flame. How do I balance? It's not easy. I have no easy answers. It's good to have strong relationships with other introverts, other who get it. Makes it easier to approach balance. I think.

pussgurka6 karma

What do you like to do in your free time?

IamINFJoe3 karma

Pretty much what I do in my working time! Write, draw, craft. I like to work outside in the yard too. Watch movies. Go to Barnes and Noble.

J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS6 karma

Dude, going to Barnes and Noble for a living sounds like the dream.

IamINFJoe3 karma

Ha!!! Well, yes, I love working there. There's something about a mocha that gets the creative juices going!

ohnoseamonsters5 karma

I'm also an INFJ, when/how did you decide to take this career path and how can I do the same?

Thanks for doing this AMA

edit: you're also a drummer?! What kind of music are you into?

IamINFJoe4 karma

Fellow INFJ! Thank you for coming. I decided to explore visual art after graduating from music school. Music was more or a skill to me (like typing) rather than something in my heart. I realized I had always been more visually oriented that aurally. It's taken me a long time to get to this place. Everyone has a different path, so I can't tell you how to to the same. All I can say is follow your heart. Life is short. I was a symphonic percussionist. I don't do that anymore. Problems with my hands. I like all kinds of music. Depends on the mood. Good luck, my friend.

ohnoseamonsters1 karma

Thank you very much. You've said what I think I needed to hear right now. Thanks!

IamINFJoe1 karma

I'm so glad. Thank you for coming.

michelletoomes4 karma

Did you know right away that you were an INFJ or did you have to try on different labels to see which personality type was your best descriptor?

IamINFJoe5 karma

After discovering Myers-Briggs, I knew right away. Well, maybe there was a little bit of time I was wondering if I was ISFJ, but as time went on, it was pretty clear that I was INFJ to the core.

ThePoofPoint2 karma

Is there a sign you try to avoid as an INFJ? like one in particular you don't often find yourself getting along with it?

Love the book btw, can't wait to get a copy!

IamINFJoe8 karma

I hope you enjoy the book! If you mean, is there another Myers-Briggs type I try to avoid, I would answer no. There's always someone who I'm not going to click with, but people are people. I feel we should always try to relate to one another as best as we can.

TurboNitro2 karma

Fellow INFJ here! I had no idea you existed so thanks for doing this AMA. I really liked this comic of yours: https://infjoe.wordpress.com/2017/06/17/berry-picking/

Do you have any favorite websites / resources / tools for learning more about other MBTI types and how to interact with them (possibly from an INFJ perspective?)

IamINFJoe3 karma

I'm so glad you found me and my work. Heh, berry picking. My favorite website/community is Introvert, Dear. Thanks for coming.

LillySky2 karma

What's your favorite cartoon of yours? Is there a personal story behind it?

IamINFJoe3 karma

Oh, man. Um. My favorite cartoons are usually not the most popular ones! I have many favorites, but the one that comes to mind is the INFJ HSP guy named Jason who's sitting at the bar with a spear and two arrows in him. I suppose that was sort of popular. The personal story is that Jason is really me. I just named him after one of my wife's classmates.

Chtorrr1 karma

What is the very best cheese?

IamINFJoe4 karma

For me, I'm from California and was raised on Tillamook cheddar from Tillamook, Oregon. Still one of my favorites.

Vergana1 karma

I don't know if I could ask this question, but how did you meet your wife? I'm INFJ-t and I'm really struggling meeting new people, especially girls. I have no idea what could help me.

IamINFJoe6 karma

My wife and I met in NYC in church. Places of common interest are great locales to meet others. What do you enjoy doing? Start there. INFJs love to learn. Take a class somewhere. Take a bunch of classes. I got married at 35. Still young, but it felt like I was waiting forever. Hang in there. Don't settle. Find the right one.

blebo125 karma

I'm and INFJ as well, and I met my wife at the dog park. I had a basset hound, she had a basset hound... life, funny how it works. I was 40 years old and had pretty much given up on marriage, but I agree doing "your thing" is a good strategy. It's easier to talk to someone when you both have a common interest. At the dog park, I could always strike up a conversation easily by just asking questions about her dog (who is now "our" dog).

IamINFJoe2 karma

Thank God for dogs.

GigglyGoosh1 karma

Do you have to sit down and think of bits? Or do they come spontaneously throughout your day?

IamINFJoe2 karma

Great question. Both. Sometimes when I can't think of anything, I just show up to the page and doodle. Record ideas, jot down words, even if it will never go anywhere. Then there are other times, when I'm driving or in the shower, and something will just hit me. I love those moments!

Jmylly1 karma

Do you have any good coping strategies for when you run out of power but can not get away to reload? Congratulations on your release day!

IamINFJoe3 karma

Thanks so much! And thank you for coming. You know, I rarely find myself in that situation, but when I do, I "pull in" as much as I can in order to conserve anything I have left. I also think of a reward after everything is over.

Bakethecake21 karma

What's your favorite Myers-Briggs Type that's NOT your own?

IamINFJoe6 karma

Well, my wife is an INFP, and we're like two peas in a pod. Real soulmates. So I love INFPs!

veekcore1 karma

My boyfriend is an INFJ and I'm an INFP too! Seems like we introverts stick to each other huh?

IamINFJoe1 karma

Ha! That's great! It's so nice to have someone who get's it, right? Having another NF is a treasure.

LillySky1 karma

My favorite cartoons in your book are the holiday ones, because they perfectly describe this introvert's love/hate relationship with the holidays! What are your holidays typically like? And as an introvert, what's your survival strategy?

IamINFJoe1 karma

Great question. Since my wife and I are both huge introverts, and now that we have our own house, we like to spend our holidays quietly by ourselves. We may visit family and friends on surrounding days but just for a short while. Survival strategy is moderation. Know what you can handle and what you can't. Don't be afraid to say when you can't.

LillySky1 karma

That sounds like a lovely way to spend the holidays. :)

IamINFJoe1 karma

OMG. It is indeed. I know we are very fortunate to do that. :)

Booksforlife3751 karma

Why did you decide to write a book?

IamINFJoe3 karma

I really wanted to encourage fellow INFJs and introverts, so I began posting cartoons on the Internet in 2013. Since the online series was so well received, I decided to put a printed collection together to reach a wider audience.

roguetwinki1 karma

I was definitely unaware of your existence until now. After browsing some snippets from your book, I immediately connected with it. Your cartoons are amazingly on point. (I'm also an INFJ) Its almost like reading a lil book that could actually be, metaphorically, the story of my life. haha! needless to say, I ordered it already and am eager to read it on Thursday! I really like that you are putting a comical, yet very real, perspective on what it's like to be an introvert. It's refreshing. I have few friends that are introverts, so it's quite exhausting to be social. I appreciate your work. I hope you never lose inspiration!

IamINFJoe2 karma

Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy the book. Yeah, I find that humor is a good way to connect with people and also to lighten myself up. INFJs are very intense. :)

hauptmat1 karma

How much time do you spend on ideating/creating the cartoons? Do you have a process that helps you create these?

IamINFJoe2 karma

That's very hard for me to say. As an artist, you're always on. Thinking, dreaming. My process is just living my life. That's really it. :)

chancechants1 karma

We share the same first name and mbti type, you're not also left handed are you? Haha thanks for representing us well. I'll likely be ordering your book.

IamINFJoe1 karma

No, I'm not left handed. But I AM able to divide my tongue in 3 curls.

nigboner1 karma

can you make a book about down syndrome?

IamINFJoe0 karma

Unfortunately, I have no experience there. It's a great idea though.

Mcbaill1 karma

How is book release day going? From Abby

IamINFJoe2 karma

Hi Abby! So far so good! It's an incredible experience to say the least.