Offerman here. I have swell new book called GUMPTION dropping on May 26, it is delicious.

Comments: 3839 • Responses: 59  • Date: 

DamianRichardWayne2378 karma

Hello sir, have you ever considered playing Garfield? You would be perfect for the role imo.

NickOfferman3815 karma

I have not. I am, however, fond of lasagna.

VaginalHubris862326 karma

My husband doesn't like to go down on me and it makes me sad. Anything I can say that will encourage him to satisfy me?

NickOfferman4572 karma

Goodbye, selfish asswipe.

BBkidLy2194 karma

Settle an argument for me please. Does fruit belong in beer?

NickOfferman4780 karma

Fruit belongs in still-life paintings. And on friday nights, in the butt.

Samicus_Stonicus2127 karma

Mr. Offerman,

Are you accepting any applications right now for personal disciple? I admire all your work and couldn't imagine the chance of being taught anything and everything under your guidance. Thank you so much for doing this AMA. In regards to the disciple thing, can I get an offer, man?

NickOfferman3174 karma

That pun required a great deal of temerity to float. Be ashamed.

AzBrah1821 karma

What was the funniest scene to film on Parks and Rec? I mean, so funny it needed numerous takes to finally complete.

NickOfferman3271 karma

Chris Pratt trying to pronounce Vladimir Putin. 5 of us could not keep our shit together, as he is a young mage of mirth, with the powers of unraveling. See it in Season 7 gag reel. It is meet that he is entertaining the planet with his face and body and gentle goodness.

stuffandotherstuff1738 karma

Nick, thanks for coming to Auburn University to do stand-up earlier this semester. Can you confirm something about that for me?

At the end of the show you went to both sides of the stage and gave bows. I could swear that during these bows, you noticed my Mouse Rat shirt, made eye contact and gave me a thumbs up. I've bragged about this ever since but all of my friends claim that there's no way I can know for sure if the thumbs up was for me in particular. Can you confirm this?

NickOfferman2169 karma


witchdoctor111554 karma

You have $10 at Taco Bell, what would you get?

NickOfferman4561 karma


MakinPeepsLaffs1497 karma

Nick Offerman! Big fan, and someone you've motivated to go into woodworking here. A year ago, I lost my best friend in a car accident. We were 18. Could you share some of your manly, calm, and centered wisdom on how you deal with such loss and sorrow?

NickOfferman3115 karma

I have not endured a tragedy such as that, and you have my deepest sympathy. When life kicks me in the bean-bag, I try to do nice things for others, especially making things for people, and it helps. Find productive activities to distract your self from dwelling on the past.

jancomorales1452 karma

For what reason would you ever consider going vegan?

NickOfferman4325 karma

If I became an asshole of some sort?

arrogantjerk1407 karma

If everyone on planet earth were exactly like you, would the world be a better place, or a terrible place? What sort of events would there be? Holidays? Bands?

NickOfferman3910 karma


thepowerofjessicas1228 karma

when do you marry someone?

NickOfferman3602 karma

It'll be pretty apparent. Keep an eye out for a person slipping a ring onto your finger and then seeming like they expect a kiss.

OptionK1181 karma

Do you like guacamole?

NickOfferman2799 karma

Am I a mammal?

Draz-B1168 karma

  1. Which do you prefer acting in, TV shows or movies?
  2. Who's your favourite comedian of all time?

NickOfferman2463 karma

1) Live Theatre is the top preference. Doing A Confederacy of Dunces at Boston's The Huntington Theater this fall. 2) Her name is my wife.

jumpnrun1159 karma

Batman or Superman? And why is it Captain America?

NickOfferman2220 karma

The Answer is in the name.

Frajer1139 karma

What power does your mustache possess?

NickOfferman2520 karma

The power of silence.

Chris4Hawks1079 karma

What was your favorite scene to record throughout the run of Parks and Rec? That show has left me with so many pleasant memories and I know from Twitter that you and many of your co-stars feel the same way.

NickOfferman2049 karma

All Ron & Tammy episodes plus that crazy episode 4 in Season 7, like a one-act play with myself and Captain Poehler. One of the greatest gifts I have ever had the delight to unwrap.

MuggyTheRobot857 karma

Hey Nick, what's your favorite kind of pizza?

NickOfferman2490 karma

in my belly.

awesomejim123838 karma

Where do you bury your gold?

NickOfferman2136 karma

22 degrees NW, 17....wait a second.

TheBeardMix834 karma

My friend told me that Nick Offerman wasn't cool and wouldn't answer my question, how do you feel about that? Do you have any wise (or vulgar) words for my friend?

NickOfferman2397 karma

It is prudent to be circumspect of anything emanating from the cesspool of Hollywood. Nonetheless, your friend sounds like a real ass-hat.

Dempsee82760 karma

Nick, you seem like a man of exquisite taste. What city has the best BBQ? I'm partial to Memphis, myself.

NickOfferman2748 karma

Such a question is rife with folly. If it is well-prepared BBQ and it is within one's reach, then that is the BEST.

awesomejim123756 karma

Do you have a carpentry project you're particularly fond of and willing to share?

NickOfferman1257 karma

I reckon Ron's Canoe from the Series finale.

Papitoooo744 karma

Have you ever considered making instruments given your fondness for woodworking. I'd kill for an Offerman guitar or ukulele. Bongos? Dulcimer? hell...ill take a wooden percussion block.

NickOfferman1352 karma

I have made one ukulele with plans for more on my way to guitars.

fattyasid721 karma

Hello Nick. We know that you actually are a wood craftsman and that that particular trait in your character Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation was actually inspired by you. Are there any other traits of Ron that are actually traits of you? Do you love steaks, eggs and bacon and do you drink Lagavulin? Do you hate the government? And can you say anything at all about your role in Fargo Season 2 as Karl Weathers?

NickOfferman1226 karma

Karl Weathers is sexy as shit. Yes I love to consume the comestibles of the gods, but what red-blooded American does not?

thenomad7546 karma

What is your advice to everyone out there aspiring to true manhood?

NickOfferman2112 karma

Stand up for your principles. Ignore magazines articles describing "what it takes to be a man". It's about decency and gumption, not guns or muscle.

dafukisdat543 karma

An ostrich charges you. Your course of action?

NickOfferman2075 karma

Scissor the legs, stun with face-punch, then slap it back to sensibility and ride it to the pub. Enjoy Foster's.

bam_shazam508 karma

I'm in a job that's "good" for my career, and I'm miserable. How did you justify uprooting your life to pursue acting? The risk of dropping what I'm doing to pursue something else is daunting

NickOfferman1657 karma

why ever spend one more minute in misery. you're feeling froggy, jump.

Tophersonn484 karma

Nick, I'm a big fan of your role on Parks & Rec as Ron Swanson and I thought American Ham was great. I'm almost 30, have no job and seemingly no future. I have debilitating depression & anxiety. I often think about going to college and pursuing architecture but then lose motivation. You seem to be very wise, any advice or words of motivation you could give me?

NickOfferman1682 karma

Get to work. Find work you love to do, even for free, even if you're just realizing your dreams of architecture with popsicle sticks or toothpicks. Achieving something that makes you feel good about yourself will bear fruit and get you sex.

RagBagUSA481 karma

Hey Nick, huge fan. This one's about facial hair.

So I used to have a beard, but then I fell for a girl who said she liked clean shaven men. So I got rid of it. Months later and I'm babyfaced and alone, but over her. I want to bring the beard back, but my worry is that it'll be forsaken the moment a new girl walks into my life. How should I go about convincing this hypothetical female to see a glorious chin-mane the same way I do?

NickOfferman2033 karma

Love does not rely upon whiskers. Do as you please, be true to yourself, and only then can you be attractive to the type of partner you most desire. If a mate wants you to shave your beard, hand her a Justin Timberlake record, shake her hand, and send her on her way.

leftspun438 karma

Nick, you've clearly demonstrated that you're a very articulate man. What genre of books do you read and what are some of your favorite books?

NickOfferman1305 karma

BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN ALL OTHER FORMS OF WORD DELIVERY. Read Wendell Berry's wisdom on the subject in my interview with him in my new book GUMPTION. It's good, like that. Wendell Berry George Saunders Edward Abbey Michael Pollan Patrick O'Brien C.S. Forster Jim Thompson Donald Westlake Robert Anton Wilson Madeline L'Engle Mark Twain Faulkner Graphic Novels - The Boys - Y The Last Man - Powers - Axe Cop - Neil Gaiman - Watchmen - 100 Bullets - Warren Ellis - Scalped

dolphins_unleashed435 karma

What's your favorite cut of beef?

NickOfferman1805 karma


spillerae428 karma

Hi Nick! I got so excited when I saw that you were doing another AMA that I dropped my phone. Apologies if this is a bit forward, but I absolutely adore you, your work, and the beautiful relationship you and your wife have.

My questions are: -What is your secret to a good relationship? -What has been the greatest challenge you and Megan have faced as a couple? How did you resolve it?

Generic, I know, but I am truly curious. Thanks in advance, sir. Keep being incredible.

NickOfferman914 karma

Our relationship is very lucky in that we found the right partner with whom we could remain. It started with humor, and it's humor that sustains us, but we are like any couple - we argue about dumb stuff, and the key is to listen to one another and make compromises and let go of "who left the cap off the toothpaste".

thevernanator410 karma

Nick, I recently started working for my dad at his real estate firm. He is making me shave my beard away because he claims its gives off an "unprofessional" look..... I'm about to lose my manhood over here. What do you suggest I do to convince him to let me keep my glorious facial hair?

NickOfferman2150 karma

Get another job, or make the sacrifice to work with your Dad. Your manhood is in your carriage and character, not the superficial trappings of whiskers or other such decoration. Plan B - become amazing at selling real estate to bearded people, then grow the beard back as a job requirement and then make your Dad grow one if he wants to stick around at your affluent new firm.

Miguelad91396 karma

Have you ever had jamon ibérico? If so your thoughts?

NickOfferman901 karma


CarettaSquared380 karma

Nick Offerman,

I have an autographed copy of Paddle Your Own Canoe that I took with me on the high seas while working as a Marine Endangered Species Observer (making sure that whales and turtles didn't get killed by a dredge) last year. It helped me find solace and humor in the cold and frigid New Jersey winter, which was quite necessary at times.

My question: how do you autograph those books? Is there a day or weekend where you just sit down and bang them all out at once? Do you have a stack of books that you knock off every time you leave your house over a period of several months? Or is it a mere stamp that an intern is responsible for?

NickOfferman938 karma

Although I am woefully behind on my pile of fan mail, I sign books whenever I can. I would never indulge in scurrilous behavior like misrepresenting my own signature with some sort of forgery. I consider a great privilege that anyone would want my signed book, which is why we offer them for cover price at

jableshables363 karma

Have you ever brewed your own beer? If so, what was it and how'd it taste?

NickOfferman1599 karma

I have no need, as my younger and superior brother is a brewer at Solemn Oath Brewery in Naperville, Illinois. Their beers are better than most sexual fluids, even. And I've tasted the seed of Groot.

amarras355 karma

Mr Offerman, what is the largest steak you have eaten, and where did you get it?

NickOfferman1207 karma

Eating large steaks is illogical and unhealthy. I prefer eating steak for the taste, not the surplus. Keen's in NY.

masadac311 karma

Hey Nick, what's your personal design theory? Do you tend to favor form or function?

NickOfferman738 karma

FUNCTION. I appreciate that the Craftsman furniture style brandishes the very joinery binding the wooden members to one another as its decoration.

NAS0798297 karma

Hi Nick,

I'm a big fan of Parks and Rec, do you have one memory that stands out as one of your favorite moments on the show?

Thanks for the AMA!

NickOfferman742 karma

It would be hard to beat these 2: - the phone call from Mike Schur telling me I got the job. - saying "thank you" to Leslie in the final episode.

Batmanstarwars1283 karma

Nick, what is the finest type of wooden barrel used to age whiskey?

NickOfferman837 karma

The ones that say Lagavulin on the cask end.

voldie25278 karma

Nick,what was your reaction at reading Ron's ending at the table read?

NickOfferman600 karma

Jus tike reading his beginning. GRATITUDE.

ErrantTexan255 karma

I want to get into woodworking. What project is a good starter project to wet my whistle?

NickOfferman715 karma

The one you begin now.

ragesauce9253 karma

Do you have a podcast or someway I can hear your delicious tenor in my car?

NickOfferman563 karma

As of May 26, TWO audio books for the listening. Great for putting children to sleep...

k_pressley243 karma

Hi Nick! My goal in life is to own something you have made from wood. My question is, when you spoon with Rob Delaney are you ever the little spoon?

NickOfferman865 karma

The spoon has not yet been forged that can hold his stew. One sweet advantage to our couplings is that his body brillo provides a replete exfoliation.

SomberRacoon226 karma

Hello Nick! What would you deem is the biggest success of your life so far?

NickOfferman1084 karma

Hmm, not sure. This IAMA is going pretty great...

Highriderr168 karma

If you could choose a role in any long standing movie franchise, what would you choose and why?

NickOfferman669 karma

James Bond, because sweet tools. Lord of The Rings, because DUH. (Tom Bombadil, please and thank you)(Second choice - Beorn)

Emulsifide167 karma

Mr. Offerman,

I unsuccessfully attempted to obtain your constructive criticism and/or approval of our Ron Swanson Running Club of Michigan attire for the Mustache Dash Detroit 5k running event last November on Twitter ( Will you do me the honor now?

NickOfferman331 karma

I don't read much Twitter. That is an handsome blue, and an accurately rendered hog of a man, flanked by pillars of glory. Make sure you stretch out before cracking the 16 year.

kingjamesljj154 karma

I'm from Wisconsin and just wondering what area your summer vacations were located in? Loved your first book, definitely getting Gumption. Also, have you ever thought of crafting Turkey Calls In Your woodshop?

NickOfferman783 karma

I will look into turkey calls, as I am unfamiliar, thank you. My fear is that if I make an effective turkey call, the St. Louis Cardinals might gather on my porch?

ZtheIncredible134 karma

What's it like to work with Jeff Tweedy? Really enjoyed the video you produced for him.

Keep being awesome!

NickOfferman264 karma

Jeff is an obvious talent and American rock and roll legend, but he is also sweet as pie, deeply intelligent and gratifyingly wise. Plus he has a face that is really nice for looking at.

ErrantTexan133 karma

What's the best part of writing a book?

NickOfferman434 karma

Sincerely, transferring thoughts via written language feels rather like a super-power, or at least smacks of sorcery. Writing ideas or jokes that successfully make the leap to be made manifest in the mind of the reader feels pretty terrific. I am grateful for the opportunity to take a swing at that practice.

Scarletfire95124 karma

What scenes from parks and rec stand out in terms of filming? As enjoyable as the show was to watch, it must've been a dream to film. Thanks!

NickOfferman512 karma

Hard to pick, honestly. The crew was so top-drawer, and the show was made with such love, that every day seemed like a triumph. Except when Gergich was there.

ThatFlyingHippo89 karma

Nick, what advice do you have on staying productive (I am a HUGE procrastinator) and getting up early?

NickOfferman218 karma

Get to work. Find work that gets you out of bed. If you find what you love to do, you will spring to it. It's a privilege. Read Wendell Berry.

teaching-man71 karma

Offerman, I like your style! I teach wood shop to high school kids. Any advice for by budding wood workers?

NickOfferman114 karma

Take your time and establish a command of fundamentals. Look at lots of research to find styles that inspire. Gary Knox Bennet, JB Blunk, David Nash, Andy Goldsworthy, think outside the box. Master sharpening.

canadiandiamond57 karma

Good evening sir! Quick question for you: Lagavulin, is it the greatest scotch ever or the greatest scotch ever?

Follow up: What would be your second favourite scotch?

NickOfferman158 karma

We truly live in a time of splendour, if we can ask which fine scotch is the best. If it's whisky and it's in my glass, then it is preferable. That said, I really enjoy: Lagavulin 16 Ardbeg Corryvreckan Ardbeg Uigeadail Caol Ila Oban The Balvenie damn near every flavor Talisker Laphroiag

LionKingHoe47 karma

I just watched your comedy show with your wife the other night in Seattle.

With that in mind, when you dress up like cats and go killing, what kind of cats are you?

NickOfferman123 karma

Cats who do murder.

Kashmir644 karma

Howdy Nick, I love you in Parks & Recs, my question is.. Who had the most profound impact on you growing up?

NickOfferman149 karma

The women and men of my family. Also the muppets.

pawling1133 karma

Did you use your real penis in the "Cocaine" music video by FIDLAR?

NickOfferman57 karma

Fake Penis - Real Stream

psycht27 karma

Hi Nick! I love your work in P&R and saw your standup special. Many chuckles were had, but in watching it, I see you really are a family man. What is your secret to a strong family life?

NickOfferman75 karma

Loyalty. Love. Compromise. Eat together. Do the dishes.

applejive4326 karma

My friend thinks that steak is an unsatisfying meal. What do I do? Help me Nick Offerman, you're my only hope.

NickOfferman100 karma

Seek less idiotic friends.