Comments: 57 • Responses: 7  • Date: 

Jeratain14 karma

I am newly married and am coming to understand my wife as the months go by. Without more specific context, are there any specific ways that I can learn to listen to my wife's requests without interpreting them as bickering?

therapistrachel10 karma

That's a great question Jeratain. You will probably continue to understand her more and more every single day for the rest of your time together. We are constantly evolving, so once we think we got it.... BOOM, something changes!

I don't know how you're interpreting her requests as bickering, but if they are "naggy," I would let her know how being bickered with or being nagged at makes you feel. If she knows its hurting you, she will stop. Otherwise, she may not know she's doing anything to upset you.

Mighty722 karma

Way to go on answering the questions. Worst AMA in history?

therapistrachel1 karma

I'm so sorry everyone. I got sick last night and then found out they took it down due to lack of proof. I'm new to reddit! Finding out what proof they want and will re establish this AMA under my new (not misunderstood) username.

PensivePorcupine1 karma

Hi Rachel - I am a 51 year old male; after 2 years divorced and 4 years of celibacy, I have been dating a wonderful woman for 3 months. We fuck like rabbits, and I love the time we spend together, in bed and out. I have given her countless orgasms, but I have only cum 3 times during sex. I am uncertain if this is an emotional issue, an intellectual issue , or a physical/age-related issue. Can you recommend any books or resources to help me figure out the difference?

therapistrachel3 karma

Absolutely! and YAY FOR YOU!!

So happy you're having sex again and want to figure out answers to whatever is going on. Check out: http://www.minddisorders.com/Kau-Nu/Male-orgasmic-disorder.html

I always recommend you go to your Medical Doctor first and make sure that biologically everything is okay. If that checks out, then its time for a therapist. Hope this helps - let me know if you have any other questions! :)

dragonsparadise1 karma

What are your thoughts on Somatic Psychotherapy?

therapistrachel3 karma

I utilize some somatic psychotherapy interventions in my practice. I think that our body holds onto things sometimes that our mind can't logically understand or make sense of. Its a great way at getting into those feelings and going deeper than our conscious words.

dragonsparadise1 karma

Agreed. I'm currently in a class that teaches somatic meditation, and I'm seriously considering making somatic psychotherapy a big part of my concentration.

therapistrachel2 karma

Absolutely! That sounds fantastic.

lula24881 karma

Hello therapistrachel! Your post has been removed because you have not provided adequate proof within a reasonable amount of time. Please see the /r/IAmA sidebar for posting guidelines. Thank you!

therapistrachel1 karma

Hi Lula! I just saw this. I changed my reddit name to something else and would like to do this again... How can I do proof?

viveknarayan96-10 karma

If I would practice polygamy.... Without telling my wife and all at a sudden she finds out...how can I possibly tell her that I love two of them???

therapistrachel5 karma

I don't think that there is anything wrong with polyamory, as long as both people involved and ALL people involved know what is going on. I think that if you do love both of them, the way to show that is to be honest. What do you think your wife would say? Would she be open to a polyamorous lifestyle?