We are Michael Cera. And Kieran Culkin. Ask us stuff.

Michael, any plans to star as a plucky, yet awkward lead in the near future?

No, I'm going to play someone who's plucky as well as awkward.

Hi guys!

Michael; your performance in This Is The End made me laugh the hardest, did you enjoy playing that version of yourself?

Kieran; in what main ways did you and Macaulay's appearance in Home Alone alter your childhood?

Yeah, I had fun. It was just 2 days, and I was in New Orleans hanging out with friends for 2 days and gambling in the casino in the middle of the city. I worked for 2 days, gambled for one day, had a cockroach in my hotel room that terrorized me for a day. It was GIGANTIC and it scurried under the bed, and I had the most fitful sleep ever.

Hey Michael, since Donald Glover landed the role of Spiderman in the new cartoon, do you have any plans to answer back as Shaft?

I don't get it.

I've actually really been looking forward to this AMA.

I absolutely love Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and it's one of the only (possibly the only) movies I've ever seen three times in the theatre, and each of the three times I saw it, the theatre was totally packed. Everyone I know that's seen it absolutely loves it, the critics seemed to love it, and it was quite heavily advertised for quite a while leading up to the release. When I saw that the movie earned back less than its budget, I was shocked. To be fair, I was living in Toronto at the time when it came out, so it was a big deal there at least. I guess not so much elsewhere.

On to the real question, what reason(s) do you think there could be for why the movie did so poorly at the box office? I can't recall a movie with such great reviews and strong marketing, yet such low ticket sales. Most "bombs" usually have either poor reviews or an insufficient marketing campaign.

THE EXPENDABLES. It opened up the same day as it.

I don't know. That's not really my area.

Eat Pray Love.

Hey Kieran and Michael,

I don’t know if you guys remember me, (I say this because we were all really wasted), but after one of your shows at the Steppenwolf I was invited to get drunk, and play N64 and poker with you two upstairs in your dressing room. It was a really good time, and you’re both super cool and fun people to hang with. Since this is an AMA, I suppose I should ask some questions.

Michael: When can I get a rematch in Goldeneye? We were really even when it came to Mario Kart, but you kicked my ass in Goldeneye game after game and I need a rematch to redeem myself. I swear I’m not that bad at Goldeneye. (Also, I hope you are continuing to use the Rainbow Road shortcut in Mario Kart.)

Kieran: Can I buy you a drink next time you’re in Chicago? I remember you had a bottle of Lagavulin and I poured myself a very generous glass of it. I still feel kinda bad about it. Can I buy you a drink next time you’re in town so I no longer feel as bad and we can call things even?

When I saw This is Our Youth back in Chicago I thought it was fantastic and you both had such great performances and I wish you all the success while it is on Broadway. I encourage anyone out in New York to go see the play!

Cheers,

“Simon-Spencer"

Oh Simon-Spencer! Hey man, we miss you!

Michael- I really enjoyed your movie Youth in Revolt. Will there be a sequel-- Adult in Conformity?

Let me sneeze and find an answer. That question made me sneeze.

ACHOO!

No.

Hey Michael, shout out from Toronto! Would you consider doing a sequel to superbad? It's one of my favorite movies of all time. Kieran should be in it too!

Kieran - What was your initial reaction when your brother told you about the pizza underground?

I would consider it, yeah. I would consider anything.

Um... I don't know. He told a group of us that that was what he was doing, and we should come see the show, but when I went to the bar, I didn't realize that the show initially was 7 minutes long, so by the time I got in there- my name wasn't on the list, so I had to argue with the guy at the door to let me in because he forgot to put my name on the list - I heard the last 5 seconds.

I gave them a joke I think they used. Singing the melody to "I'll be your mirror" and singing "I'm Little Caesar."

You guys wanna hang out and grab some pizza sometime? I'm in NYC.

Are you cool and fun?

Michael, are you and Aubrey Plaza friends? Or does she hate you because her character hated your character?

No, I think we're friends. You'd have to ask her what her secret feelings for me are.

Hi you two handsome! Classic question:During zombie apocalypse what would you choose as a weapon and why? :D

Chainsaw, so you could walk around mowing them.

I don't know if that's a good idea. You'd be stuck with hand to hand combat. And the noise would attract more zombies.

So what would YOU use?

I would have a gun, to commit suicide painlessly.

So why am I listening to you? You're planning on giving up! Suicide is built into your survival plan!

there are WAY too many factors. If I"m protecting myself, I would have a gun and save the last bullet for myself. For a whole group... hand to hand does make more sense... What's better than a chainsaw? A big metal baseball bat. So you can keep people at distance, it won't attract zombies...

What about a razor sharp samurai sword?

It could get stuck in their shoulder! A bat could keep them away until you bash their head in and get them on the ground...

What about a tank?

If you guys were doing a buddy cop movie together, what would be the premise?

The same one as the Will Ferrell / Mark Wahlberg one, shot for shot.

We'd call it "The Other Guys." Or "The Otherer Guys."

Did you know they're doing a sequel to Dumb & Dumber?

What was it like working with Edgar Wright on Scott Pilgrim?

Magical.

It was magical.

I miss that time.

Kieran; do you have a preference for stage or film work? Michael; what has been the most challenging film role of your career?

I do not.

If you guys are gonna be assholes, I'm gonna leave...

Hi Michael / Kieran,

Thanks for doing this AMA!

Kieran – do people still warn you to go easy on the Pepsi?

Michael – are you a fan of the HBO series Game of Thrones? And if so who’s your favorite character?

Yes, my little sister watches it. So I'm a fan of it.

And my favorite character is the...wife.

What do you guys do for fun?

Line diapers with Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

Videogames. Gambling of all sorts. We've gambled in the past for money, shots, and lately for the more adult thing - exercise, where the loser has to do some exercise.

The reward is watching the loser do exercise!

In fact - Michael, drop and give me 10 pushups.

Ughjh fuck this, I'm eating...

Michael-- way to hold down the low end in Scott Pilgrim. What is your favorite bass line of all time? I like "I Wanna Be Adored" by the Stone Roses, "Under Pressure" by Queen + Bowie....

Oh, that's hard! I Want You, She's So Heavy. And also Ramble On is really good.

Michael, do you have plans for some next internet big thing? What it will be called?

Oh man... You know, I have no idea.

I think we should bring back Chatroulette!

Because Chatroulette was fun when it was 60% dicks. And then you'd find some people who would go "FUCK YOU!" and then change the channel.

Hi, Michael! I gotta know, what's the best prank you've ever given or that you've ever received from anyone on Arrested Development or any of the films you've been a part of? I'm sure there've been many.

Best prank?

Oh man...

Let me think...

I can't remember. A transpo guy left a shit in my toilet once.

I think it was a sign. Or a gesture. Like, a "get off our set?"

Michael: Is it sippy time?

Yes. I don't know what that means, but I'm enjoying this miso soup.

Hi!

A question for Michael Cera.

Do you like candles?

Yeah. I like 'em enough to keep 'em, around. Actually, I lost power yesterday, tripped a breaker in my house.

How?

I tripped a breaker, because there was an exposed wire up in the light fixtures, so I was trying to change the lightbulb and I ended up killing the power in the whole place.

And you lit candles?

Yes. And me and Kieran have a pushups on demand thing.

of all the productions you’ve been involved, which had the best craft service and what was the best food?

Trying to remember... Super Bad was really really good craft - they had these Snackables - these little peanut butter & jam pre-made sandwiches with no crust, but it's white bread, and it's made by Smuckers, and I ate like 5 of those a day.

There tends to be a feud between the craft services guys and the catering guys. They feud. Because if they feed a sandwich to the crew, then people will say the catering isn't very good, so the craft services guys will get promoted to catering. That's why when you have shitty craft services guys, they were given a low budget because the caterers were good. But I have fond memories of the craft services guys who would bring around BLTs, and stuff.

I'm pro craft services, when they are good.

On a movie, I told them BLTS were my favorite sandwich, and they kept making them throughout the set.

You know who I appreciated the most? Rick, the driver, from PILGRIM. He had the MOST AMAZING MULLET. and he would bring in homemade juice, and he started to know that I liked it, so he would bring it to me every day, being like "Michael, here's the blood of life!"

He was obsessed with this stuff. He told me the cure for cancer was asparagus.

He made me a beautiful gift at the end of the movie, a metal thermos with an engraving of the recipe for the Blood of Life juice. I still have it.

What's your favorite dinosaur?

The one that killed Newman.

If you guys had to choose a new animal to domesticate what would it be?

Raccoons!

Meerkats!

My mom had a pet raccoon when she was growing up, that they raised from a baby. And it was cool with them, until it got really big, and then it got really territorial with my grandma. It was a vicious animal, it would protect my grandma from my mom's hugs. And they had to get rid of her.

Hey! Big fan guys!

I'd like to ask if you've read the books for Scott Pilgrim, if so what did you want to make the final script and what was something you didn't want?

Definitely read the books, but that was like 5 years ago.

I definitely wanted Kieran's character to be in the movie.

What is your favourite sandwich to make?

OK, I haven't made this sandwich in years, but I came up with it when I was very drunk years ago: it's basically a grilled cheese but with Muenster - here's a secret: when you butter the sides of the toast, you put some garlic powder on the butter. But I also sauté some mushrooms in teriyaki sauce. And the drunker you are, the better the chef you become.

I have like a toaster over sandwich: turkey, swiss cheese, some spinach... dry spinach, so it will wilt in there - some mayo - some dijon mustard, and a little raspberry jam.

You lost me on the mayo, and won me back with the jam.

You add some crispy onions, pop it all in the toaster oven. Let it become what it's destined to be!

Hi Michael,

From one Canadian to another, what's the best thing about being Canadian?

Um... the hiking. Really good hiking.

What's your favorite pizza topping?

I really like anchovies.

Ooh me too!

Anchovies and sundried tomatoes.

Ooh, I'm anti-sundried tomatoes.

Why?

What's your favorite tree?

I like weeping willows.

I like weeping beeches. When they get really old, they create like... this area... that you can go inside of, and then you're in this inner area of the tree.

What's your favorite album, movie and/or youtube video of 2014 so far?

I'm out. I don't think I've seen a movie, listened to an album or watched a YouTube video in 2014.

Guardians of the Galaxy, we saw that! We saw Godzilla twice.

I liked BOYHOOD. I don't know any new albums. Didn't I just see something at IFC I liked?

I loved the Alan Partridge movie!!! That was perfect.

Michael, what would you be doing if you weren't an artist?

I have no idea. I'm like dealing with a pain in my neck right now, and it's making me wonder what my life would be like if I had to do any manual labor.

Hi guys!! What roles would you say you two are most recognised for? Thanks for doing the AMA by the way.

You're welcome.

You were great in ADVENTURELAND!

My role in Terminator 2, I guess?

Adventureland!

Do you watch anime?

No. Wait, I've seen some of that Naruto? I like Naruto, but there are like 1000 episodes. I gave up after like, 14. But I liked it, I thought it was really fun.

I'm about to be the father of my 4th girl, can you help us out with a name? Thanks Guys.

I have SO many but I'm keeping them to myself!

How about Mitzy?

What was your first car?

I've never owned a car. I've only had my driver's license for 3 years.

Mine was a Toyota Corolla. And I still have it. I just moved it yesterday morning!

That's pretty much all the time you get to have with it - listen to half a Kinks song, and move it.

Next month I'll listen to a whole song.

Michael / Kieran who would you say has been the biggest influence on your respective careers? Also what is your snack of choice?

Thank you for calling my career "respective."

Well, I don't know? Getting work? The jobs I've gotten, I would say.

I'm not sure how to answer that. But there's something about a snack? God, fucking everything. Let's go with... any foods with gravy. I know that's not a snack, but to me, it is.

Favorite snack?

Oh.

Chips and hummus.

I put that shit on everything!

How did the idea of a broadway musical get brought up?

It's not a musical.