Hi all

As the title says I was diagnosed with a tumor in my right breast 6 months ago. After that I had a surgery and 6 sessions of protective chemotherapy, still having radiotherapy. Besides, the hormon therapy has been started and I take tamoxifen 2 times a day.

The reason I decided to do this AMA is that Breast Cancer is considered as a middle aged women sickness but it's not and because of this young women are usually misdiagnosed. Not only the society but also doctors dont expect young women having it. And that has to be changed somehow. Today one woman out of 10 in europe has it and half of them are under 40. 40 is the age they suggest regular check ups but it might be too late.

My life has been saved by my boyfriend. He was the one found it and forced me to visit a doctor before it went anywhere else in my body. So this post is actually for also men. I know many other women saved by their partners in this way.

I dont believe a stupid pink ribbon is a way to make people aware of breast cancer. It's nothing cute and pink. It's painful, bloody and like taking a never ending psychological roller coaster. Getting a new body is very challenging as well.

So ask me anything and I will share my experience with having a tumor in my body for some months so that some women around might be diagnosed at an early stage. Here are the pictures. It's the one I had the tumor. You can see my wounds, marks for radiotherapy and the port that has been used during chemo.


Comments: 199 • Responses: 78  • Date: 

sciencemax69 karma

no questions. just wishing you luck op :) you seem to have a good grasp of reality and a good head on your shoulders.

hatepinkribbons22 karma

Thanks a lot.

Ghostwoods7 karma

Sorry you had to go through this.

hatepinkribbons3 karma

Thanx. Im sorry too :/ it shouldn't happen to anyone.

davidu28 karma

On the plus side... Hopefully this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, which you're going to emerge from, a bit scarred, but stronger, and you'll live an amazing and happy life knowing nothing will ever be as shitty as having to go through this.

hatepinkribbons14 karma

Thank you so much! Your first sentence was the last sentence of a psychologist I met when learned about the 'thing' :)

Jillieann17 karma

What triggered you to be seen in the first place about it?

hatepinkribbons15 karma

I'd say chronic tiredness. A tumor gets its share from your sleep and food. I was hungry, tired and feeling dizzy long time before I found it in my breast.

AdolfHitlerNiggergod28 karma

Every hungry and tired person will now think they have cancer

hatepinkribbons8 karma

Haha sorry for that. They will feel something is wrong not a regular hunger :)

I was eating like crazy hut losing weight.

Basbhat4 karma

thanks for clarifying. I eat a fair amount.

and am generally tired often (I smoke a fair amount of weed)

but I'm not losing weight. so no cancer for me.

hatepinkribbons5 karma

Dont wanna make anyone paranoid. It might be unique to me and im not an expert of diagnosis. Just sharing my own experience.

HI_Handbasket4 karma

If only cancer could be cured with a steak and an early bed time. One day...

hatepinkribbons2 karma

I like jokes when they're clever not ordinary :)

ocelotwreak17 karma

ALL women should immediately get checked when they feel unusually tired, or have an unusual sense of pain or sensitivity in their arm pit lymph node area. Some agressive forms of breast cancer (e.g., inflammatory breast cancer) do not always manifest as a 'lump', so you can't depend on having that symptom before deciding to seek help. I wish you every success in your treatment and hope you are healthy again soon!

hatepinkribbons5 karma


green_meklar10 karma

If you could have chosen to have this happen at an older age instead, would you? Why or why not?

Assume for the sake of argument that the medical technology available is the same.

hatepinkribbons17 karma

Well, it's a hard question.

All the time everyone just says im so young for this. It makes me sick. So it would be great not to hear that actually.

But also I think it's really good that it happened now because I totally removed everything bad for me from my life and im changed. For example, I'll never ever work for a big cooperation and I am a much happier person now, also learned how to appreciate life.

And I wouldnt like to have kids when I was diagnosed because all you think at first is that you're gonna die. And It'd be so hard to take care of them during the treatment.

skiilyy9 karma


hatepinkribbons5 karma

It's very disrespectful I agree with you. You can't create awareness while sexualizing it. It's just taking attention to somewhere else.

Such pictures you showed offends me actually. I just feel bad and sad. It was painful both physically and psychologically. Somebody should tell it to those girls.

Nothing pink is happening around when you're diagnosed. All you get that boring medical blue :)

NiceIce-4 karma

How on Earth is it disrespectful? Sadly, there's not even any nudity. :(

hatepinkribbons2 karma

It's not about nudity. Im ok with nudity. You've all seen my boob :)

It's disrespectful because it underestimates all the physical and psychological pain I had. And I also dont like that people use such a serious issue as another excuse to party instead of doing something real.

pamplemus5 karma

what was your biggest struggle from a psychological standpoint?

hatepinkribbons13 karma

Hmm hard one.

I felt worst when i thought I will die and my boyfriend will have another woman in the future :/ May sound stupid to you tho :)

And also I was and still am so uncomfortable with the idea that people will pitty me if they know about it.

pamplemus6 karma

oh my god, don't feel stupid. i'm currently struggling with some mystery health issues, and that thought of losing my husband to another woman is one of the saddest ones. i guess it's related to the fear that after death, everyone moves on and forgets about you (even though that's not likely - your bf seems to care about you very much). good luck, op!! :) i wish you speedy health and happiness

hatepinkribbons4 karma

I think it's about that. Thanks! I wish you the same. Take care!

tonnez5 karma

First off thank you for doing this AMA and I do hope you do get better. My question is how did your boyfriend find out? Was it a lump that he found or he just insisted for you to get checked since you were tired/fatigued alot?

hatepinkribbons8 karma

With the fatigue no doctor was able to find it. I visited many of them. They checked very irrelevant things. My boyfriend found the lump and I said him it was because I'll have my period and it's normal.
Then he says he started to observe it and googled it. After he was sure it was getting bigger he booked a flight and forced me to visit my parents and talk to my sister.

billnjess5 karma

"My life has been saved by my boyfriend. He was the one found it and forced me to visit a doctor... "

Just another example of how a healthy sex life can save lives! JK. My wife is 41 and constantly gives me a hard time about going to the doctor. This might be a good wake up call for her.

No question. Just wanted to say good luck to you and keep that positive outlook on life. <3

hatepinkribbons7 karma

Thanks a lot! <3 And please make it sure that soon she will have an appointment. Better to get bad news than to be late for the treatment.

eadjungle4 karma


hatepinkribbons7 karma

Thanks a lot! Friends are important never leave her side.

Fuzilli3 karma

Wow! Incredible. I am floored by your courage and strength. First of all I wish you all the best in your recovery. I hope you find peace with your new body. You are amazing for doing this AMA.

Two questions (if they are too personal, you don't have to answer them).

  1. Does this affect your fertility in any way? (The therapies and the cancer itself). Will you get an early meno pause because of this?
  2. Do you still don't want to get children (even if possible) due to your experience?

hatepinkribbons8 karma

Hi! Great questions reminded me another medical process I had to go through.

There was a chance that chemo would effect my fertility so that they made me ovulate and freeze 31 'eggs' for the future. so I have potential for 31 children. And a part of me is in some egg bank in I think Switzerland :) They suppress my hormons to prevent me having period now but later it will go back to normal.

But it doesn't mean that I cant get pregnant. Even now we have to use protection according to my gynecologists which happens to be my sister. A pregnancy is very unwanted right now because of all hormonal changes it makes in the body.

hatepinkribbons3 karma

And about having children, I guess I want only one to see how s/he will look like. Im really wondering of the combination of my and my great boyfriend's genes :)

And I'll go for adoption as well. This was my decision made years ago. Has nothing with the sickness I had.

Fuzilli3 karma

Thank you so much for your answers. All the best in your recovery!

As for the chemo and fertility... I totally get that any conception is out of the question right now. I am on chemo myself, though not for cancer but severe arthritis.

Did you experience any bad or weird side effects from it? As for me, my nails or super brittle. My hair structure changed and I can't eat anything mildly spicy anymore... Oh and the nausea.. Yup the nausea...

hatepinkribbons5 karma


I lost all my hair :/ but managed not to see myself bold ever till now. I got a thing kind of glued to my head. If there is anyone interested http://novahair.co.uk

I made myself believe that I'll be ok during the chemo so maybe that's why I was quite ok. After first time I had a horrible stomach ache thought I was dying and after 3rd time my skin got sooo dry till the end. 5th and 6th time I had low blood level so needed to get some injections. Besides, always kind of light nausea of course and as a psychological side effect I experienced anxiety for no reason just out of blue.

Now waiting for my hair like crazy. Heard that it changes after chemo in some cases. Hope I'll get curly hair finally! :)

Pombologist3 karma

Has your tumor been classified? (Basal, ER+, N-, etc.) Right now genomics is playing a bigger role in cancer diagnosis and therapy, and I'm interested to hear from a patient.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Oh I know nothing about it. Because my sister is a doctor and I didn't want the burden I tottally closed myself to such details. Only know my hormon receptors were positive so that I use tamoxifen. She told me it s the most common and well known type as well.

I gave a blood sample for kind of a genetic test so that they will decide if a double mastectomy needed.

orion701 karma

Can I ask what part of the world you are in and whether you had an oncologist? You mentioned that your sister is a gynaecologist, not an oncologist. After I was diagnosed via biopsy (in Canada) and my surgical samples were tested, I was provided with a several page document that contained all these details and more. But besides that, my surgeon and my oncology team brought it up many, many times during my active treatment.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Of course I have one :) and he really makes me feel good. There's also an asistant oncologist who was always in the chemo room. And I have a surgeon and his team. I still see them in every 3 months. I rejected to carry all the burden from the medical terms. So my sister was the one checking medical sources and telling me only the necessary things didn't wanna google everything I heard from the doctors. Actually I even didnt read other's stories online much. Because this cancer has 150 types. It's wrong to talk about it as it's just the same for everybody. People even compare ovarian cancer to breast cancer. It's like adding apples to pears.

orion701 karma

That's fine and I understand and respect if you don't want to go into details, but you're doing an AMA and don't seem to want to talk about it much.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I don't say I dont wanna go into details. And I go into details. Sorry if wasnt successful to satisfy you. I said I dont know the answer of your question. I didnt want to know all technical stuff because I didnt want to be subjected to information pollution. And I have my sister answering necessary things. And actually if you learn tyoe of my cancer what will be your gain? Nothing. It doesn't matter even for me anymore. I advice you to do same thing. There is too much info. Having yourself isolated is really relaxing. Wish you luck with your journey! <3

Pombologist1 karma

Okay, so it sounds like you have what's called an ER+ (estrogen receptor responding) tumor. That's good, it means that it's probably not one of the really nasty types and you'll get a good response from tamoxifen.

There are certain types of low-risk cancers that don't have a significant response to chemotherapy versus tamoxifen. I'm a science nerd, so I'd want to find out. But depending on your type, you may not need those really nasty treatments. Source: http://www.mybreastcancertreatment.org/en-US/AboutOncotypeDX.aspx#.Usg5uP2LORI

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Well, science nerd thanks for the good news but dont tell me much. technical info makes me feel scared anyway :)

jakejwlee3 karma

so instead of pink ribbons, what do you think is an appropriate icon for breast cancer awareness? and props for the sharing

hatepinkribbons6 karma

Check the scar project dot com

Dont know if an icon needed if yes something more realistic and not pink please.

fxpstclvrst3 karma

Best of luck to you! One of my best friends was diagnosed with a large tumor (which she had been ignoring for months) on her 30th birthday back in 2007. She went through chemo, single mastectomy, and reconstruction. She also got a divorce while in early treatment, then dated and married the man who is the love of her life. She is in remission and stopped taking tamoxifen last year. She and her husband are planning to try to conceive this year, which is so exciting for them, and I'm so happy it is possible for them to be parents. I hope you make it to the other side of your fight with as much success as she's had.

She and I used to do Komen walks/fundraising together (I have a drawer of 5K walk t-shirts), but after the crap they've pulled over the last few years, American Cancer Society gets my donations now. Pinkification can suck it, especially slapping pink on sugary junk foods.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Thank you for writing me! Your friend's experience made me feel good.

And I agree you 100 percent about the campaigns. After they have their profit by selling all that pink things they give very less for the research.

Say hi form me to her! <3 to you both!

Doesntafraid53 karma

Late to this, but I'll leave it here anyway.

Really sorry to hear about your diagnoses and extent of treatment. I am a Radiation Therapy student and I treat a lot of women with breast cancers. The side effects of radiation treatment vary from person to person and I was wondering what you thought of your radiation treatment experience, and the medical professionals you dealt with.

What can I do as a Radiation Therapist to make your experience better, or make your more comfortable. If there are any questions I can answer for you from my end, I would be happy to and you can PM me anytime. Best of luck to you!

hatepinkribbons2 karma

How nice you are! This AMA made me believe in humanity again.

So far, 5th and the last week, no side efrects have occurred. Only I was a bit sleepy for the first days.

Medical professionals are quite nice people at the radiotherapy center. 2 young women and a young man take care of me except the doctor. My only problem with them is that I see them every day and I like them but because the whole thing takes like 3 minutes I had no change to show how I appreciate their work. I didn't even have time to say 'happy new year' :))

So radiation therapy student, message here if you're nice to us we like you even though we dont show it.

And a question, for the first days at the second half of the treatment they taped a cold plastic frozen jel type of thing on my boob and then they quit doing it. Are you familiar with that? What is it? And why not used anymore?

burdd2 karma


hatepinkribbons1 karma

Oh so sorry for that. Waiting for the results is the worst. Glad u're ok :)

ADuck0nQuack2 karma

Get better and good luck :)

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Thanks a lot.

Sirlantedise2 karma

Is your sex life in anyway affected with your boyfriend?

hatepinkribbons5 karma

It did a lot. Especially during chemo period I didnt so much have taste for it but tried to do my best for him :)

Physically I was ok -not all the time- but more importantly I was feeling ugly and sad that he sees my wounds. So tried to escape from him.

Now getting better I started to enjoy it again but dont want him touch it so much :/

The_President_Obama2 karma

For starters, again, props to you for sharing your story. I personally would not be able to cope if I was in that sort of situation let alone talk about it in such an open manner on the internet. My question is though, has the ordeal changed you at all and do you have a different perspective on life or go about things differently? Best of luck for the future, I really hope it's nothing but up from here. Thanks.

hatepinkribbons4 karma

I chose not to share it with people I know and now I choose to share with the ones I dont know maybe because I have to put it out somehow.

And yes im a total different person now. At the beginning all I think was 'why me?' but then learned about women still alive after decades of having it. And I'll be one of them :)

Im a much positive happy and caring person now. I changed my life style and eating habbits. I don't consume sugar anymore for example.

quarterblack1 karma

Why no sugar?

hatepinkribbons2 karma

It's because of smt I read. People before had 1 kg of sugar per year it's now 72 kg and our body doesn't know how to deal with it. And also I was eating everything sweet too much before I was diagnosed. But do your own search dont wanna make anyone upset and scared :)

seal_raider2 karma

That really sucks...cancer sucks. I have had it in a few places on my skin and thankfully it has been caught quickly. Even so, there have been some close calls.

Good luck...

hatepinkribbons3 karma

How do you say? If it doesn't kill me it makes me stronger or something like that :)

Shezzam2 karma

Well, I missed this AMA, sorry! I also had breast cancer (6 years ago) at age 32/33.

Good luck, it takes time but the shock and stress eventually wear off.

I also had difficulties getting diagnosis and treatment. I hope that you get better and are able to have a long happy life.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Really? Will I ever stop thinking about it?

Shezzam1 karma

I am pretty sure you will, it's all new for you right now. PM anytime you need ((hugs))

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Thanks a lot!

Shezzam1 karma

Btw, I hate PinkTober and pink ribbons too, since then. Big hugs little bug, stay safe in the cold weather you are copping!

hatepinkribbons1 karma


kristhvr2 karma

Props to you for sharing your story, it inspired me to take breast cancer awareness very seriously (not the pink ribbon). But I do have some questions and the first actually may be pretty rhetorical but is this one thing you would never wish on your worst enemy? Are you doing anything as far as campaigning awareness for younger women? How important do you think male awareness about breast cancer is, because I know a lot of the breast cancer awareness charities and things are focused towards women(for obvious reason) but not men. You seem like a very strong woman and I hope everything works out for you!

hatepinkribbons4 karma

Yes I'd never wish it for my worst enemy. My chemo medicine was rather light there are people and kids suffering from horrible side effects I feel for them.

In my country there are some breast cancer NGOs filled with middle aged women. I cant take their looks and talks meaning they're luckier because they're older. So I was thinking to start a new one. And also i think my master's thesis will be about how society perceives women w BC. But they have time. Im still recovering.

I read somewhere 400 men dies from BC every year but 100.000s of women that's the reason nobody cares awareness for men I think. But 400 dads husbands and boyfriends are too much. A new gender free approach would be great.

ZlayerCake1 karma

If you don't mind me asking, what is that "coin" under your skin, right above the sign?

hatepinkribbons3 karma

They call it 'port'. I got chemo by that thing. They didn't want to use my veins on arm not to destroy them.

ZlayerCake1 karma

As they hooked up tubes to that instead?

hatepinkribbons1 karma


ohcheezus1 karma

No question. I just wanted to thank you for bringing awareness to this issue. My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer at 27 and died at 31.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Haha thank u for sharing it. It made me feel greaaat! Well just kidding. I didn't need to know that. Really. :)

vagos471 karma

Op you are fucking brilliant. You are a good person, thank you for this.

hatepinkribbons2 karma


rkoval10141 karma

What are your thoughts on women getting the genetic testing and if they test positive immediately getting a double mastectomy as a preventative measure?

hatepinkribbons1 karma

It must be very hard to decide that. But I'd go for it. I'd go for anything that would prevent me having chemo :)

undreamt_odds1 karma

Keep kicking ass. We have matching scars, fucking chemotherapy ports. Its good to talk, I wish reddit was around when I was going through it.

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Thanks scar sister! :) How long has it been since you're donw with your treatment?

undreamt_odds1 karma

Brain cancer, tumor is still there, but its been 18 years (I was 12) Oh, I am also a guy, but I can be your scar sister.

My treatment was a failed attempt to remove followed by two years of chemo. Luckily never had to do radiation. I used to steal the ribbon magnets off of cars, it is oddly satisfying.

hatepinkribbons3 karma

See it's been 18 years. This is a great example to give people who act as im dying. I hate cancer culture of modern societies.

Keep saving the cars but be careful, you're the only scar brother I have dont want you be jailed :)

MrBubbles0071 karma

Just wanted to say, like many before me, that I wish you good luck and congratulate you on the progress made thus far. My mom had breast cancer when I was 4 or 5 and thankfully survived and is now healthy again.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Thanks! And Im happy for her that she made it!

Stephanieplynn1 karma

What was getting the diagnosis like? I had an ultrasound guided biopsy in my left breast a couple of days ago and I'm waiting for the results. I was fine before the procedure but now honestly I'm really scared. I keep thinking "maybe it's nothing, I'm in my 20s" but I feel like something is wrong. They found two masses and the fatigue and dizziness is something I'm experiencing too. What was going through your mind when you were waiting to find out? How long did it take before you knew? Did you feel like something was wrong? What did you do when you found out? Sorry lots of questions.

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Hi! It was so difficult to wait for the biopsy results. The worst part actually. I didnt wanna believe that I have it. The diagnosis took like 4 days I guess. I visited 3 doctors. Had ultrasound, MR and biopsy. I had the surgery 3 days after the diagnosis .

What did I do? I was in a shock I guess. I didnt talk at home. Everybody was so sad and just watching me. I wasnt crying or anything. I just stoped. Didn't do anything. I went out and met friends who didnt know what was going on and I even had fun sometimes.

It was ok till chemo. Somehow u accept it. I made plans for the future a looot of them. Decided to things I like. I didnt do much online searching because u never know what u will come across. Some stories were sad so I stopped reading.

Write me anytime you want. Dm me and I ll send u my email address. You can ask me anything anytime. I met someone on instagram and she helps me a lot to feel good. A total stranger but I like her even without knowing her.

gaucho301 karma

First off I am sorry to hear of your misfortune, however it is great that you did something about your breast mass. Did you get screened for BRCA 1/2? While it is less likely for women in their 20's to get breast cancer often early onset of cancer is secondary to a genetic disposition. There has been a lot of press (at least in the US) about BRCA because a patent was held on it by a biotech company they were charging thousands of dollars for a simple PCR test.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I've done it waiting for the results. It was expensive because the blood sample is sent to the US and I had to wait for the results for 3 months.

Kingofchaos251 karma

props to you for telling strangers on the internet this terrible news, i hope you can cure it.

my question's are.... does it scare you?

does it interrupt any sort of sexual stuff?

thats all.

hatepinkribbons12 karma

I chose not to tell it to my friends and relatives. My family and only 2 friends know it. I can explain why if u wanna know.

Well it scared me a lot but then I said this is my story. And I accepted that it's happening. I think I'm in peace with it now. And after they removed the tumor no cancer cells was left in my body so I am not really scared any more. Just having mood changes and feeling blue sometimes.

About sexual 'stuff' many things changed. I dont feel comfortable when my boyfriend touches my right boob. I tried to hide it long time from him. Then he started to say that it's his favorite boob and I decided not separate them :))

gullman2 karma

Trust me guys love comfort and love making their partners feel comfortable, its a kind of I'm taking care of you thing. The main thing is not to worry about your boob when it comes to you boyfriend. An example I can give is my girlfriend suffers from eczema and it makes her uncomfortable so I always kiss the hand that gets hit with it just to let her see how little it bothers me.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

How nice you are! She is so lucky.

epona_1 karma

What did your tumor look like? I've had a lump for about a month. I went to the Dr yesterday and had an ultrasound. They told me it's a tumor but they don't know what kind. Either it's a fibroadenoma or something else, like a phylloid tumor. I don't know whether I should get a biopsy, a mammogram, just get it removed, or just wait and see if it grows. I'm scared that it could be something more serious than just a fibroadenoma but my Dr is 100% convinced that there's no way it could be cancer, which in my mind is silly or her to say. I'm 19.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Hi. Just calm down. They know when it is cancer. Ultrason shows it. Mine was like a ball with three arms. And in your age mammography doesnt show a lot. Keep watching it one month, if it grows take action. This is what a doctor suggested a friend of mine with a lymp in breast.

trevdordurden1 karma

I was wondering this myself, if younger people can get breast cancer. Would you recommend others your age getting a regular mammogram?

Also, I love your username! I couldn't agree more. Sure, awareness is what we need for other causes, but breast cancer has moved on from the awareness.

hatepinkribbons3 karma

Hi! I dont suggest mammograms. Anyway they dont do it at early ages even if you ask for it. The best thing to do is self examination can be found online. If you feel any lump go to doctor asap. And then go to another one to be sure.

trevdordurden4 karma

What does a lump feel like?

hatepinkribbons3 karma

Mine was stone hard. So it s something you can catch in your breast feels wrong and hard. Something like a rubber ball.

ramlosaappleftw1 karma


hatepinkribbons2 karma

I have some theories but they may sound you very crazy :)

CaptFluffyBunny1 karma

Crazy or not, I would like to hear your opinion.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

But then I'll get rude feedback. Just because I said I was tired and hungry before the diagnosis they now make fun of me :))

ramlosaappleftw1 karma

I'd love to hear it anyway, PM me if you dont want to post it publically. Also take care and get better!

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Ok in a nutshell I'll tell you. I think it happened because I called it. I read about it a lot and I was scared about it I was even paranoid about it. I've visited a doctor 3 years ago after I was sure and crying there s something but there wasn't.

ramlosaappleftw1 karma

Well what does that make me who've been severely hypochondriac? Most of us suffer from health anxiety in periods of our lives, also are you sure you weren't paranoid simply because you just felt that you was sick? As in you was paranoid because of the sickness, not the other way around.

Hate to knock you down after opening yourself up, but I feel I have to take a realistic approach at this.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I dont know if I felt I was sick. I had been checked several times and told it was ok. If I had it that time I mean 3 years ago when I was diagnosed it'd have been all around my body.

Let's say I felt that something bad would happen 3 years ago. Long time after I found it I thought it was just a benign one and not important. Dont know why.

I think the real reason was that I was unhappy and not satisfied with my life for last few years. I couldn't have managed that stress well.

Snarfunkle1 karma


hatepinkribbons1 karma


Your wife is the youngest case I heard. Im so happy she's doing well now. We can talk somehow in private if you want. Dm me any time.

Between us things got only better. We stopped having arguments. And I accept him now how he is. I accept even the things I haven't liked for 5 years :)

It's been just 6 months for me. And sexy things are getting better:) there are issues but im embarrassed to mention them in public :/

It's scary she's maybe still scared for the future. I didnt talk with anyone for the first two weeks. I was just so angry to life. Then it changed. I decided to take it as a sign to change things I dont like in my life.

About the sex, just dont do anything she doesn't like. I try to think about sex during the day to make myself feel like it's again part if my life. Don't force her or dont push her to do anything. She may feel you dont care her sickness but just sex.

redblueorange1 karma

Did you go the mastectomy route? Does it run in your family? Congrats on being strong. Its not easy. I had a double mastectomy last year at age 28 proactively. If you need anyone to talk to.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Did u share it with your friends? Strange but I have an instagram friend she had to go through the same thing. a total stranger makes me feel very good.

I dont like to compare what happend when it was found what stage etc but it's good to know im not alone. So I'd be only happy if we talk some more.

RobBobGlove1 karma

1) how was chemotherapy?
2)did hormones affect your mood?

Wish you all the best!

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I wrote a lot about chemo. Please read them. It wasn't fun tho :)

No it doesn't if it does the effect is positive because Im calm now. I used to be very 'not calm' :))

chrisalee1 karma

Have you made any diet changes since your diagnosis? I'm curious because my mom who also has ALS has been diagnosed recently with breast cancer. I think it was diagnosed late because of her current disease already making her very lethargic. She's currently trying broccoli sprouts which apparently help fight off cancer stem cells. Then again a lot of food products advertise their cancer fighting abilities.

On another note, keep hanging in there and I wish you the best of luck.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I try to eat fish often. And I also try to eat broccoli, onion, garlic, lemon, kernels, olive oil, some bee products like pollen on regular basis. I try to drink enough water and herbal tea everyday.

No sugar or so less sugar, no coffee because I lost taste for it, no white bread because it's not good, and minimum amount of dairy products, no chicken, very little bit of red meat.

Other than this I eat regular things everything I was eating before.

kramerbooks1 karma

I was fairly young when I was diagnosed, too. I was younger than the age of when mammograms are recommended. I found it myself one day. When I found it, I kind of assumed that it must be a cyst because I was so young and breast cancer doesn't run in my family and I had done everything lifestyle wise to keep me out of any risk factors. The good news is that if you go and get it treated as soon as possible, it is definitely treatable. It is life changing, but survivable.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Tell me more. How old were you? How long has it been since then? I know many people survived and internet is full of examples.

kramerbooks1 karma

I was 36 years old. I am a mother of two kids who i breastfeed, which supposedly helps prevent cancer. I was very active and physically fit and ate mostly vegetarian diet.
I was stage 3 but very, very close to being a stage 4. (Boy, that night, waiting for the call from the doctor was rough. My husband and I held each other and cried much of the night). I had surgery, chemo, then radiation. I had tons of love and support which was amazing. Make sure you have an advocate with you for those big appointments when the doctor is giving you lots of information to process. My husband was wonderful all the way through with this. It has been 7 years now and I am in fairly good health (aside from some unfortunate surgery related nerve pain and arthritis). There are some wonderful organizations out there to help you get through this shit. One of which I was actually the inspiration for getting started. Check out the "good wishes organization. You can read about how a letter I wrote to a company that makes accessories created an amazing give back program that has helped women around the world. If you want to pm me, I'll always be happy to talk and share any information I can. I'm sorry you have to go through this stuff, but know that many, many women (and men, of course) have your back.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I go to my appointments with my sister she is a doctor so she is in charge of all medical info. I just dont want to deal with it. And my boyfriend attends as well to make me feel better. My mom gets so sensitive so we dont take her with us anymore :)

When did your life become normal again? Im so tired of all this :/

kramerbooks1 karma

After I got done with the radiation and everything, I have to admit that I hit a spell of depression. I finally got out of it when I just decided to get up and start exercising and enjoying life again. I think what happened was that when I was going through all the treatment, it was really intense but I was surrounded with so much love and care, then when everything ended, I was left with a different body to adjust to and everything was kind of quiet.
But I know, as cliche as it sounds, I am a stronger person and I did gain many gifts from the whole ordeal.

hatepinkribbons2 karma

I heard about such kind of depression. So I made some travel plans for not having it. Hope it'll work :)

Wish you the best. I understand it it's cliché for only 'ordinary' people :)))

kramerbooks1 karma

Btw, I have felt the same way about stupid pink ribbons. I also really hate those bumper stickers and bracelets that say stuff like"save the boobies". It's not about saving boobies. It's about saving lives. but at least the kind of cancer we have has had shit loads of money thrown at it.

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Well I think the same way. At least it's common so that some cute science people work for the cures hard and they have funds :))

hama-girl1 karma

Do you feel like you can forget about it sometimes and still act normally? Or is it something that, once diagnosed, never ever leaves your mind?

Best of luck, my thoughts are with you.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

I think about it every single moment while eating thinking talking. They say it will change. And im waiting for that day. Looking forward to free my mind finally.

Thanks a lot <3

ChantelleRoberts1 karma

With Any Diagnosis You Must Stay Strong. How Did You Feel When You Were Diagnosed? Is Your Treatment Doing Well For You? What Adjustments If You Have Had To Make Any Have Affected Your Daily Life. Once Again Stay Strong.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Diagnosis part was the hardest part. I wasn't talking to anyone. I went out met my friends and didn't tell anyone anything then came back home eat in slience and mostly stayed in my room. I hated when people who know it talked about very little stupid things. I wanted to punch them in the face really :)

Then I accepted it. I cant change it and it's not my fault. I decided to take it as a sign to change my life. I quit my job which I hated, moved back to my home country, and stop searching for problems.

Everything goes fine for me now. Soon after 8 days almost all treatment will be finished. I'll need to take 2 small pills everyday that's all.

maryjanerx1 karma

  1. So sorry this happened to you.
  2. What is your opinion on antiperspirant? My mom just warned me again that it can be linked to breast cancer.
  3. Nice boob
  4. Do you plan to have kids?

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Well im also sorry that this happened to me :) I am not a mature type I was still feeling like a child before all this now I feel older :/

I heard the same thing. But don't wanna scared anyone. I never used them and it happened.

Someone else asked about kids. I may have kids because my boyfriend wants to have some. But I have to wait like 5 years. So we have 4.5 years more to spend just with our dog :)

maryjanerx1 karma

I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but i'm glad that you never used antiperspirant and got it anyway. not the got it part, but the not using it part, because I do use it and your case provides me evidence that there may not be a relationship between the 2

hatepinkribbons1 karma

:) nobody can do anything about it anymore. I got it that's all.

Why dont you use the ones that dont block sweating but only the smell. I dont know where you live but if you have Sebamed there they have a good product.

SCM19921 karma

[Serious] How can a guy feel for lumps? Maybe get your boyfriend on so he can explain what he felt? I'll also be googling this.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

When it's small it's hard to find it but it's something like a rubber ball. Sometimes it's accompanied by other symptoms but not in every case. Google it for your gf's sake :)

ogge1251 karma

Stay strong.

hatepinkribbons1 karma


eraof90 karma

Do you let people know that you have cancer? Do your family and surroundings treat you in a better way than before?

hatepinkribbons0 karma

No I havent told it to almost anyone. Only family boyfriend and 2 friends. I didnt make a big thing out of it and asked for the same. So everything is the same. I and my boyfriend had to move to my parents tho. It's good and boring :)

jojoboobear0 karma

Did you ever consider the cannabis oil route? And if so why did you choose the conventional? I admire you for your obvious strength and for sharing your battle with us. It is important and very brave.

hatepinkribbons1 karma


There is a book called 'speak the language of healing' get it and read.

I dont fight with anything. I reject being in a war. That was part of me. I wanna feel peace dont have any room for any negative feeling.

NotThisTimeYou0 karma

Why is this NSFW?

hatepinkribbons3 karma

First by mistake and then I thought my beautiful boob may cause a problem in the offices around the world :)

hatepinkribbons2 karma

Haha! Thanks <3

fcgillz-3 karma


hatepinkribbons2 karma

I havent. What does it do?

FrankRZee-3 karma


hatepinkribbons0 karma

And what will i do with internet points? Im sure being stupid is not your choice like having cancer wasnt mine. You were born thos way.

krogsmash-7 karma

The message here is, let your SO inspect you breast for a second opinion.

hatepinkribbons1 karma

Whats SO? :)

Basbhat-7 karma

we're all going to have cancer before we turn 40 no matter what we do.

we have irradiated our own freaking planet. I can't be the only person who expects this.

hatepinkribbons-2 karma

I wish noone would have it but I think you're right. We did it to ourselves buy letting big companies ruin our food.