IamA Private Jet Cleaner. I clean up after celebrities/ businessmen/ sports teams! AMA!

I can't believe I just read an entire AMA by a dude who shop vacs planes after rich people get off them.

There's a bit more to it than that sonny.

Soooo... What kind of vacuum do you use?

Miele. It's niiice.

Who is the messiest celebrity you've ever cleaned up after?

Charlie Sheen when he was on his little rampage. Non smoking plane, he used the cupholders as ashtrays. Before I could even get on the plane the DEA was in with drug dogs.

What's the weirdest/most gross/funniest thing you've found on a plane?

I can't say the name of the company, cause you've all heard of it. 4 Male passengers, when I powered up the plane to get the lights on the DVD system came on. Some of the dirtiest gay porn was on. I was shocked.

EDIT: Spelling

how does one power up a plane.Guessing you don't just stick the key in and half turn?

Nono, as a cleaner, I power up using external power. Basically we have power carts that vary in voltage. Certain planes require certain ones. There are extension cords that go from the power cart into the airplane. It's like running an extension cord to steal your neighbors electricity when your powers out. Can't run anything hefty off of it, but they get the job done.

What was Eminem like?

He loves red bull. We keep a locker full of it for when he flies.

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Happens all the time. If I put Equal onto a plane instead of Sweet and Low.... Some people go ape shit.

So what's the rule with left over stuff? 24 hrs later and it's yours? If so, what the best thing you got to keep?

Never kept anything, never would. I put myself in their shoes. Only their shoes are more expensive and have tassels.

When I worked as a line guy in college we got leftover catering! I ate Rudy Gulianis leftover chicken parm for dinner.

Ohhhh yesssss. The catering is the best part! It's surprising what great food all these people eat onboard, especially NBA players

Do you do the external servicing? Potable water and lavs? If so fuck the hawker donut.

Been shit on a few times pulling the release before the donut was out. Then having to go in and take that little fucker out. We service Lakeshore Express and the Saab 340's have those too. Good to know someone else feels my pain!

I have no idea what these words mean

Basically there is a tank that all the shit goes into after someone flushes the toilet. Part of my job is to empty that tank. Now imagine someone releases all the shit down a tube and the only thing keeping it in is a small circular disc. It's like a loaded cannon full of shit. And you have to remove that disc with your hands.

Has your job given you newfound respect for any particular famous people? What about newfound disdain?

Bill Cosby. Honestly one of the most genuine people I've ever met, along with his pilot Clarence. Both VERY good people.

Has cleaning for a celeb led to anything else?

Got a high-five once.

Ever found just a disgusting amount of used condoms on a single flight?

Found one from a flight. Weird thing was it was one passenger.

Whats so different about cleaning a plane compared to cleaning a room or car, for example?

Polishing leading edges. Wiping oil from engine cowlings. Debugging exterior. Checking seat cracks.

Also planes have wings.

What debugging tool do you use?

Windex and a rag on leading edges. Mix of 50/50 isopropyl alcohol and water for windows. WINDEX LEAVES STREAKS. If you don't believe me, turn off the lights and shine a flashlight on them.

What's the kind of pay you get for a job like this?

Never enough.

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Most people in my department make $15-$20 an hour.

How long does it usually take you to clean a plane (like the one you pictured)?

Do you have to clean the entire plane, every spec and spot?

If I leave a fingerprint on a mirror I get wrote up. Interior and exterior, every square inch. Gulfstreams usually take 6-8 hours. Challengers and Falcons 4-6.

What about the Pilot's cabin?

The cockpit? Depends on if the pilots decide to rub their fingers all over the screens like they do. Grrr.

Are you in the mile high club?

I couldn't give a flying fuck about the mile high club.

Well played...

I DID have sex in my truck once. I call it the meter high club.

Most interesting interaction with clients?

Customer asked me to "shine 'er up like ya sistas ass".

Well? Did you?

Doi.

how much does a celebrity/businessman pay for a flight? Who is the best person you've flown with in terms of niceness?

Depends on the size airplane. Some we charter for $6000-$8000 an hour. Fuel, stock, time, maintenance, pilots....all factored into the bill.

EDIT: People also buy into quarter-shares. They are basically like timeshares. There is a plane that a bunch of customers buy into and can use certain times of the year. Probably cheaper that way.

What are your favorite hot dog toppings?

We can ketchup on this subject later.

You have been banned from r/chicago.

Let's be frank: they're a bunch of wieners.

EDIT: caught by the grammar police.

How did you end up being a private jet cleaner? Do you get free miles like many other airline workers?

Nah, I get to dump people's poo from the lav systems. That's about the extent of my benefits.

Is there one who stands out for trashing private jets more than anybody else??

Charlie motherfucking Sheen.

Do you keep your car clean like the planes?

Absolutely not. I go to college full time and work about 35 hours a week. I live in my car.

What's the most unexplainable thing you've found on a jet. Whose jet was it?

Gay Porn. A condom balloon animal. Dog shit.

Has someone ever left something quite valuable behind? If so what was the outcome?

Watches, occasional wallet, jewelry. Typically they go to flight ops or the pilots, then the customer will contact them.

What's the worst job you've had so far?

Someone decided to change their baby's diaper on the seat-back tray. Yes, the same one you eat off of. That was an interesting mess.

Pleas tell me it was sanitized... I rest my head on those to sleep.

I can attest to the ones I clean. I cannot speak for any other cleaners.

Were any of the customers spotless or are all celebrities/ businessmen/ sport teams count on the fact that they can be as messy as they want?

It can go either way. Most people are clean. Because rich people will fly places that literally would take them 45 minutes to drive to.

Are the rich passengers arrogant ? Are they nice and fun people? Are they the same as the image they portray ?

Half and half!

How did you end up with this job?

I applied. Then made the interview my bitch.

Are you allowed to say which sports teams, or is it too many to list?

Every sports team that flies into Michigan.

So do you work primarily out of Michigan? I heard you mention Eminem, but honestly, what other celebrities take private jets to Detroit?

Bob Seger, Kid Rock, Anita Baker...just to name a few. Saw Miguel Cabrera after the ALCS was over for the Tigers.

Corbin, my man?

Who dis?

First off, thanks for doing an AMA. I'm getting tired of all the celebrity AMAs honestly. It's nice to have a regular person on here.

Anyway, some questions:

• How long have you been doing this?

• Have you ever flown in a private jet? If not, has it been offered?

• What's it like interacting with the "elite"? Do you feel they look down on you? I'm sure you've had good and bad experiences. What's your worst? I know you can't use real names, so just make up a name if you have to.

• I noticed you said you're in college. What are you studying? Do you hope to be in the aviation industry somehow?

I've been at it for about 4 years. I'm still young compared to everyone in my company.

I've never flown in a private jet, and offers do arise sometimes, most of the jets go on test flights at least once a month (just around the block so to speak). I don't do well on airplanes :X

The "elite" are about half and half (from my personal experience). Some of them don't feel the need to make eye contact or even say hello. Others will shoot the shit. There is a lot of misconception: many people think that these people are always on vacation flying around. I think the truth is that what they have (including the airplanes) weren't just handed to them. So I think it requires many of them to be focused. I think they just don't have alot of time to talk.

I think everyone who goes into aviation (which doesn't always mean being a pilot - there are many branches to the aviation industry) wants to be a pilot at first. There is something emotional about seeing the jets fly. I would love to get a private pilots license, as a hobby. But I am studying industrial design at a private college in the Midwest.

Have you ever been tempted to sell stories about celebs to the press?

Just to reddit!

What brand of vacuum cleaner do you use?

Miele

On which would you rather fly? A - Dassault Falcon 900EX EASy or B - Gulfstream G550

I'm 6'2" so the gulfstream. 550s are fucking enormous

How much is the cost of the plane (to buy) in your pic above?

That's a newer global express made by bombardier. I think the price tag we had on it was around 20 million

Who are your top 10 celebs to have transported?

Ahem. Cleaner, not a Pilot.

I think posting pictures is a breach of contract, at least that is how it is for us.

Probably.