I am someone who names sex toys for a living. AMA

Do you have a creative name for your own junk?

I guess this is a good time to talk about the "dude" aspect of the job. If I didn't work doing this, I would assume the people behind all this stuff are pervy, bro-like dudes. It's actually quite the opposite...from designers to PR people, everyone here is super chill about what they do--it's easy to weed out the "junk namers" in the interview process. That said, no name for the junk. Sorry, friends.

Don't worry, I'm sure a kindly redditor will be more than happy to assign one for you.

I don't doubt that...let's see what you've got.

What are some of your favorite names you've come up with that were rejected?

'BrassBonanza'

I really, really, really liked the name Beaivi, an ancient Nordic sun goddess. It was too difficult to read/pronounce however.

I have those all stored away in a notebook. Looking through old notes is a good inspiration.

Are you going to share any of these?

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So no real answer, and an advertisement. Cool AMA.

Well in all honesty, I didn't mean for it to come off like that. Would copying and pasting 20 products and product descriptions make it easier for you?

...that were rejected?

Names of products that are being sold would be the opposite of "rejected."

Oh shit, misread that question. Totally deserved those negative points. Thanks for the clarification, sil. I guess the names that I really, really liked that got shot down, I'm keeping for a rainy day. Sorry again for the confusion.

Proof?

Here's a video of us at the Design Art and Fashioin Fair in Shanghai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVq2SnRCTok

Do you plan to answer more than 1 question?

Sorry. Just got in from dinner, I'm in Shanghai right now.

What are the top three product names that you are most proud of?

I really like our tagline for our light bondage accessory series (blindfold, choker, whip, teaser, handcuffs): NOT FOR THE CLOTHES-MINDED

I know parents can be uneasy when it comes to situations like this so I'm curious, how do yours react? Do they ever ask you "How has work been?"?

I answered this question on an AMA. I kinda let my parents find out on their own by sending them articles I had written. The first one I sent them was about The Benefits of Prostate Massage ( http://www.lelo.com/news/five-questions-about-the-benefits-of-prostate-massaging ) I knew that the article was tasteful and health-based and figured once they were on the site they would figure it out and realized it was actually quite a tasteful job. They're moderately conservative, but cool people, but they rarely ask me about work other than "how is it." My Mom prefers to tell people that I'm a freelance writer.

What are some of the weirdest inspirations for names you've had?

I just sit down with a pad and paper old school style and start scribbling. If I get stuck, I'll google something weird like "Greek Mythological Creatures"

Does your job involve anything else other than giving names to sex toys?

Naturally, yes. There are only so many products you can name. I write a few articles a week about sexual health, sex tips, relationship advice, sexting tips, sex games. I also write lots of ads, press releases, sales letters to retailers, etc. Tomorrow, I'll have two articles published: One on tips for being alone on Valentine's Day and another on sexting advice. The last article I wrote was on winter sex tips...if you're interested, here's the link: http://www.picobong.com/en/news-feed.php?id=245

are you one of those guys that writes cosmo sex tips?

Kinda...but I get to be a little bit more creative. Here is an article I wrote about sex games with ice. Naming the sex moves was pretty fun: http://www.picobong.com/en/news-feed.php?id=199

How did you get into the business of sex toy naming?

I started off in the TV/Film/Broadway business and then landed a gig writing for a Love Coach and Life Coach mobile device product. I used to write those commercials you see on MTV and Comedy Central that go, "FOR LOVE ADVICE TEXT LOVE TO 21222!!!!"

Are you mad that you didn't come up with 'Fleshlight'? That's surely the best in the sex toy naming game. If it isn't, what do you think is the best named in the industry (one you named or not).

Fleshlight actually sponsored the XBIZ Awards this year, yes, they certainly are a huge name. This isn't exactly a sex toy, but as far as naming goes, have you ever heard of the She-nis? It's like a cup/funnel girls put over their vagina so they can piss like a guy out of their zipper.

Are your suggestions final or does somebody else decide?

Naturally, there is a bureaucratic process involved, but we have an absurd amount of creative freedom.

Is it awkward to explain what you do on first dates?

No, not at all...it's actually the ice breakers of all ice breakers and leaves no room for awkward silence.

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I actually had a guy at a bar once recently ask me if I was a bullshitting pickup artist because he overheard me telling girls what my job was.

Have you ever looked at a toy and thought, "That's a big fucker" (Pun intended)

Last night I was at a sex shop in Shanghai and saw a 2 foot interracial dildo, half black and half white. (I'll leave the forthcoming joke to one of you.)

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I would say that sex knows no race or gender.

Why are you in China right now? Do you have any creative names for made for china products?

I actually came here for a travel writing job in Beijing, but when I got this offer in Shanghai, I couldn't pass it up. A Chinese writer translates all names, product descriptions, etc. Here's the Chinese site: http://www.picobong.com.cn/

did you work hand in hand (intended) with the dildo engineer guy?

No. The only thing I know about him is his name.

im guessing brass bonanza is your highest selling creation thus far?

If anyone knows what Brass Bonanza is without Googling, kudos to you.

im at work so, a little hesitant to goog that

It's a song.

It's a dong.

That's just wrong.

Do you ever test the products out to find inspiration for the name?

When I had to come up with names for the bondage gear, for instance, the designer and I went into a room and tried everything on (with clothes on), hitting each other with the whip, etc. I thought it looked and felt really space-agey and since it was a beginners bondage set, I went with "Evilution" as the series name as the stuff seemed like a way for curious beginners to evolve in the bedroom.

Can you give a good estimation of what you make? I'm actually pretty curious..

I make around 6 times the average Chinese persons salary.

50-55k ish for those interested.

Source: math

Not that high.

Is the "Rear Admiral" buttplug one of yours?

No, but this does bring back memories. Me and another guy wrote an ad for John McCain condoms during the 2008 election where we used the line "Whether you're in a full frontal assault or sludgin' through the mud as rear admiral..."

Good times.

Have you ever heard of any lawsuits where companies like yours sue each other for similar sex-toy names?

Now that is a litigation I wouldn't mind watching.

Yes, naturally these lawsuits are going on all the time...mostly due to design though, not names. LELO tends to set the industry trends and everyone pretty much copies them on everything from product colors to packaging.

Is it weird coming up with these names?

I love the challenge and pressure of trying to come up with something witty--whether its a sex toy product description or the title of a travel article. I take it personal and get hard on myself to deliver something that is undeniably good.

What is your "inspiration" for the names?

I just let my mind race where it will and stop it when I think I'm onto something.

What percentage of your consumers are female?

around 80%

I also had this job for about a year. It was officially a graphic design gig, but the company was small so I ended up doing this as well. About 10-15 products I named went through to world-wide production.

Not the proudest time in my career.

What was the company?

Which toy is your favorite and why?

There's a dildo you strap onto your heel so you can penetrate yourself with your foot. It's called the Heel-do.

And why is it your favorite?

Do you get the pun?

Heel-do is like dildo. I get that. But anything deeper I'm missing.

The dildo comes with a strap that you strap onto your heel so when you lay down you can lift your knee and move your foot back and forth to penetrate yourself.

what is the most ridiculous name you got through to products that would be sold?

The stuff I've done is actually quite tasteful...nothing even remotely close to racy. The ten vibrators from PicoBong are all real Hawaiian names. If I went to the people who approve the names with anything racy, I wouldn't be taken serious.

not bad, i guess. i am a straight male, so i probably won't be buying anything you named, but the possibilities of names were endless, if you weren't the professional that you are.

I don't understand what straightness has to do with whether you use a butt plug or any other sex toy. Using a butt plug and having a super intense orgasm has nothing to do with emotional attachment to the same sex. An awesome sensation is an awesome sensation and it un-gendered. Butt plugs or prostate massagers are made to stimulate the prostate gland and being heterosexual doesn't mean you don't have a prostate gland that would pleasurably react to being stimulated. There are lots of couples products too and any vibrator can be used with a partner. Kinda some old-fashioned thinking on your part...I certainly don't mean to sound condescending, so please forgive me if I do. In short: you don't know til you try!

i am not into anything all that... exciting okay, not yet anyway. my prior statement should be effective for the predictable future... if i change my mind i'll keep this brand in mind.

Yep, I totally understand! Of course it sounds super scary to have anything in your ass, but biology is biology and evolution happened to put the male G-Spot in ass. Lelo makes a product called Billy that is known to be the world's best prostate massager (not a big fan of the name). Prostate massaging, aka "milking the prostate" is super-healthy...and it helps with ED and overall prostate health.

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Ya, there seems to be an influx of childish looking and sounding toys of recent. One company, I can't think of the name, has characters that look exactly like the Busy World of Richard Scarry characters on their boxes. That kinda freaked me out a little. Kaya is the rabbit we went with. It's tagline is "WHO NEEDS A HONEY IF YOU CAN GET FUNNY WITH THE BUNNY."

Some of you are making me conscious of posting links as if I'm advertising, but here's the link to Kaya. If you're a brazen anti-consumerist type, just don't click it: http://www.picobong.com/en/product-detail.php?id=27

What are some things you'reworking on?

An anal series and a masturbation cup. Right now, I'm finishing up an article on how to have Valentine's Day on a budget.