Well, i posted a confession bear and was prompted to do one of these. I've never talked to a doctor, therefore i'll try to answer your questions to the best of my knowledge. If this gets big enough i suppose i'll post pictures if you really wanna see. I was born 3 months premature with a 3% chance of being a viable baby. I have quite a few other birth defects (super skinny right leg/ mostly immobile foot, left ear is much smaller than the other and they both have permanent T-tubes. I have pierre-robin syndrome, which basically means my jaw was smaller than average, i had a cleft-palette, so i had to be fed through a tube for the first 6 months of my life. I have 20%(?) scoliosis, and i'm missing a rib on my right side. Whelp, AMA! (seriously, read the edit)

TL;DRoh shit, i have nuts. Oh shit, they could cause cancer

EDIT: Already a couple repeated questions, so 1. i can have an orgasm, i feel it and i skeet, but it's like a sticky, clear liquid, no bigger than a half-dollar in your hand. 2. probably can't have babies. 3. It's never really hindered my life, so there's no need to worry about it. 4. virgin. 5. it kind of looks like a hairy, old mans, relaxed elbow skin, then dick. Maybe pictures soon.

EDIT!!! jesus, my dicks on the internet now...definitely one of the weirdest things i've done. NSFW, HAF! *

*hairy as fuck http://imgur.com/a/SylQj

edit: so the title's misleading apparently. i suppose my testicles aren't actually nonexistent, just not descended. my sincerest apologies.

edit:a alright guys, i get it, i should probably go to the doctor. edit: no seriously, doctor, cancer, got it. edit: ok, not every comment needs to be telling me to go to the doctor... LAST EDIT: Firstly, thank you to all of you guys giving the kind words, making me laugh, and genuinely making feel actually a lot better about myself. Obviously this shit's serious (no fuckin shit), so, if i can muster up the balls tomorrow, i'll have a chat with me mom in the morning. For those of you asking about my relationship with my parents, and my financial situation, i feel like i should give more background on my specific situation. My mother is the best i could ask for. She literally nursed me back to health every single night for the first years of my life. she would massage and excersise my legs until the early hours of the morning, just in hopes that maybe some day i'll be able to at least walk with crutches. I was fed through a tube for the first 6 months of my life due to a cleft palette(literally a hole in the roof of my mouth). that means keeping my wound dressed, waking up multiple times a night, preparing the formula, and feeding me. when i was 4 -6 i had many an ear-infection due to pierre-robin syndrome. When i was 8, i had full reconstructive leg surgery so by the time i was 16, my achilles tendon wouldn't tear, and hopefully someday give me movement in my right foot. Then finally braces at 16. I wasn't supposed to walk, talk, fuck..i wasn't supposed to live. but here i am, at 22 years old. Skated since i was 10, and started singing and writing my own music when i was 16. I guess that none of this hypospadius/ undescended testi's just never really came up because i looked like i was essentially a normal kid now. Besides all of that, there was my personal life. Looking back, i can remember times thinking i should probably get this checked out, but i was already so damn different. i was teased and scoffed at, it seemed like people looked at me like a freak. the last thing i needed was everyone to know that i was going to have a surgery to give me balls. Once i got out of high school, i just didn't think about it anymore. like i said, it's never bothered me before, so i never worried. I don't know, i just hope this clears some shit up for you guys. Again, thank you guys for opening my eyes up a little. Also, to the 3 or so people that gave me reddit gold, fuck yeah. THOSE WHO WANTED MORE PROOF/ VERIFICATION. NSFW PLBI* http://i.imgur.com/bXg15.jpg

*possible ladyboner inducing.

NOT-LAST EDITAlright, so i talked to my mom. I have no memory of this, but when i was 13, my mom asked me about it, and i told her everything was fine. she assumed i knew what she meant, and i assumed i knew what she meant. anyways, urologist tomorrow, wish me luck guys. Also, why're you all so fascinated with my ass hole?

Comments: 1844 • Responses: 49  • Date: 

bmako1189 karma

They do make implants, but, as a female, I could not care less about balls. Sure, it's nice to have something slapping your asshole during sex, but they can get in the way and tend to smell funky. IMO

noNUTthrowaway883 karma

i like the way you think

potato_rapist535 karma

Do you even puberty?

noNUTthrowaway1157 karma

i puberty on the weekends sometimes.

edit: holy fuck, reddit gold. mysterious internet person, thank you!

stlunatic15126 karma

How hard do you puberty? Do you keep it a slow pace or do you puberty all night long?

noNUTthrowaway247 karma

it varies by the amount of mojo i've got flowin.

ninja_snail64 karma

Dude. That's like bucket loads of puberty. I'm sooo jealous, I only puberty bi-weekly.

noNUTthrowaway16 karma

you'll get there eventually man

Tom_HaverfordAMA473 karma

I'm just going to say it...pics please.

EDIT: My top comment is asking a guy for pictures of his balls.

noNUTthrowaway478 karma

but...i'd have to shave, and position my phone at weird angles...it's gonna be awkward for all of us...still not completely disregarding the idea though.

assumes2489 karma

c'mon dude, grow a pair

noNUTthrowaway1654 karma

i wish i could...ಠ_ಠ

KingCole18338 karma

How have you not spoken to a doctor about this? What happens on check ups?

noNUTthrowaway245 karma

never had a physical. that is i've never had to do the whole, fingers on the sack and cough shit. It's just never really been a hindrance, so i've never really worried about it.

catcatherine413 karma

wait what? All these medical conditions and no ones ever mentioned it? You may have them inside you. Find out.

noNUTthrowaway193 karma

all these conditions were diagnosed when i was basically an infant. sooo, yeah..i probably do, but to everyone that will ever see me naked, will know that i have no balls.

Journalisto433 karma


noNUTthrowaway388 karma

how would you know if he never told you? would you randomly question your son, "hey Journalisto Jr., how're your nuts doin? they are there aren't they?"

TigressBurningBright238 karma

My son lost one testicle at birth to torsion (twisting around the blood supply), and the other retracted sometime after six months of age and suffered an unknown demise (likely torsion) in his abdomen. The remnant was surgically removed (risk of cancer if left in the abdomen). A testosterone test, anti-Mullerian hormone (Mullerian inhibiting substance), FSH and LH will determine if any functional testicular tissue exist. He will start hormone replacement therapy when his LH indicates his brain is trying to initiate puberty.

As a mom and a medical professional I cannot comprehend not knowing/caring about my son's testicles and the effect of little/no testosterone on his development. I'm skeptical of the validity of this AMA.

noNUTthrowaway170 karma

i've never spoken to anyone about it. i never had the balls to tell my parents when i was younger, and now that i'm older i can take care of it on my own. not every parent talks to their kids about their nuts.

lolcxv103 karma

nice piece bro, definitely should check up with a dr. of some kind, you never know till you go !

noNUTthrowaway57 karma

thanks bro.

ilovegingermen58 karma


deesmutts88180 karma

No man wants to hear his junk being described as cute. Ever.

noNUTthrowaway262 karma

hey man, i'll take it..

noNUTthrowaway94 karma

thank you...

ellexmera51 karma

Is your voice higher pitched than average? Why won't you go to a doctor- this is kind of a big deal.

noNUTthrowaway45 karma

haha, my voice isn't the deepest, but i don't sound like a 10 year old. And it's not that i won't go, it's that i've never needed to go. it's never given me any troubles that i can recall.

DaRealSealburger39 karma

Like, maybe this is the most ridiculous idea ever, but couldn't you get some kind of implants of some kind? to like fill in the empty sack? I'm a girl, I wouldn't know these things. haha!

noNUTthrowaway62 karma

this is a completely real option. maybe someday if i get rich..

mindwind261 karma

i was an assistant at a vet for almost 3 months, get some marbles sterilized and come over, we'll do this on the cheap

noNUTthrowaway90 karma

if i had money, you'd have reddit gold.

test_alpha49 karma


For a bit over a hundred clams you can have a pretty sweet pair of balls. Get the large ones and you'll put any man to shame. Actually, gigantic balls might have the effect of making your penis look smaller... This might be a careful balancing act.

What if we get everyone on reddit to chip in to buy you some balls, eh?

EDIT: Well alright, looks like this might be a thing. Fuck yeah, boys. I'll throw in a tenner. Now unless we get a significant influx of pledges, we may have to forgo anesthetic, but I think we'll be able to get the balls. noNUTthrowaway, which pair takes your fancy?

noNUTthrowaway15 karma

aww, thanks guys. i think the 0-Large one's would be an appropriate dick-to-ball ratio...

lordeddardstark28 karma

Get some brass or stell balls so you can claim that you have balls of steel. Literally

noNUTthrowaway20 karma

wasn't there a movie with david arquette, and at the end the dog bites off the bad guys balls so he gets implants? don't remember what it's called though.

procrasterbate_later13 karma

Se Spot Run

Didn't they call him the music man because of the sound he made when he walked?

noNUTthrowaway6 karma

YES! hahaha...

daniella_rae24 karma

I hope you get rich

noNUTthrowaway45 karma

me fuckin too..

thebowdeini36 karma

So, how's it hanging?

noNUTthrowaway101 karma

my dick? little to the left.

Dothelokipokie29 karma

This is so interesting- and as a female I can say for myself I would never judge you differently for it. When you were young did you know something was different?

noNUTthrowaway31 karma

aw, well thank you. i always knew that i was different, but i think 3rd or 4th grade was when i realized that my package wasn't like my friends packages. all i'll say is horny little kids skinny dipping because chad's parents were gone...

LovesScience22 karma

Have you lost your virginity? What was your partners reaction?

noNUTthrowaway78 karma

forever alone..haha

IrradiatedAntelope21 karma

How do doctors check for hernias?

noNUTthrowaway27 karma

how did hernias get brought up? i actually had a hernia at about 2 months too, thanks for reminding me.

JackJackington18 karma

Are you able to experience an orgasm? Or do you just not have to clean up?

noNUTthrowaway43 karma

i can definitely still have an orgasm haha. Everything still works, i can get hard and fuck and all that, but when i cum its kinda sticky and clear(almost like pre-cum from what i've read?), and maybe no more than the size of like a half dollar coin in your hand.

robdob279 karma

in your hand.

No sir, not in my hand.

noNUTthrowaway149 karma

in a hypothetical hand*

edit: actually, my hand.

aylc11 karma

Has any girl ever seen your package without knowing? What was her reaction? If you haven't had any experience with a girl, do you feel insecure about it or something? (Sorry if I'm being insensitive and maybe your preference is the male kind)

noNUTthrowaway37 karma

i used to be really insecure about it in high school. but i was really good at faking it*. now that i'm older, i'm more accepting/ i don't give a shit about it.

*read: watching my friends reactions when they get hit, and match that according to severity of sack tappage.

AKMusher36 karma

Dude you have a superpower. You're basically missing the Achilles Heel of all men of the world.

noNUTthrowaway46 karma

oh i know, best pickup line "baby, just fuck me, i couldn't even get you pregnant if i tried."

droopyeye8 karma

Do you have an empty sack or is there nothing there?

noNUTthrowaway105 karma

I can tell i have the skin from the sack, just no nuts in it. imagine like, a hairy, old mans, relaxed elbow skin, then dick..

Capitan_Amazing4 karma

How deep is your voice?

noNUTthrowaway9 karma

my normal talking voice is about average i guess? my friends always tell me that when i'm stoned my voice gets deeper...


Op should post pictures for proof.

noNUTthrowaway5 karma

proof posted sir

Section2253 karma

Is there any noticeable difference in any hormone development or anything of that nature compared to other men?

noNUTthrowaway3 karma

never really noticed. i still can't grow a full beard on my cheeks yet?

KoalaYummies2 karma

Did your testicles not develop or did they not descend?

BigSugarJohnson33 karma

For some reason, I feel like plugging your nose and sneezing really hard will somehow resolve this.

noNUTthrowaway7 karma

no, that just shoots air outta my ears..

noNUTthrowaway7 karma

i believe they didn't descend, but if anyone saw me naked, wthey would say that i didn't have balls.

AlexParker302 karma

Glad to hear that the condition isn't really affecting you on a day-to-day basis. So does this hinder your self-confidence as a man, or change the way you act around women or even other men (locker room-type scenarios)?

noNUTthrowaway3 karma

It used to, but not really anymore. now i just don't really give a shit.

tbrenson2 karma

So I guess I don't understand do you still feel pain when hit there or does it just feel like someone hit your arm?

noNUTthrowaway6 karma

it's not numb. yeah, but more like the nose.

tbrenson4 karma

Shit dude the nose still hurts like a mofo... Serious props for dealing with that you sir are a real man

noNUTthrowaway5 karma

haha, appreciate it man.

packos1302 karma

Does it hurt as intensely as it does for people with fully developed testes as it does for you when you are hit in your groin area? Are you taller than usual for your age? Do you consider yourself an unintentional eunuch?

Sorry if these are intrusive questions. Feel free to answer only the ones you want to.

noNUTthrowaway4 karma

nah, i don't get that gut-wrenching feeling like you're about to throw up. just kind of a stinging wherever's hit. i'm shorter, like 5'4. the fuck is a eunuch?

zepphead332 karma

Do any of your friends know about your lack of testicles? Or do you try and hide it from people?

noNUTthrowaway9 karma

nope. no one knows except me and all you guys.

zanegoldy1 karma

Are you ashamed of this disability or have you learned to embrace it? And do you tell your close friends or lady friends or are you just waiting until the time comes to let it out?

noNUTthrowaway4 karma

i've never really been ashamed, mostly just embarrassed and self conscious. and again, never told anyone.

marthastuart1 karma

Have you gotten over it or do you still feel self-conscious about it?

noNUTthrowaway7 karma

i'm not bother by it anymore. i figure i've been different my whole life, no point in continuing to worry about something i can't change.