IAmA 24 year old guy living in Dubai who is waiting for results from an HIV test. HIV means deportation here and my results come in 2 and a half hours. AMA

HIV 1 and 2 + P24. Negative. That's after 22 days. So looking good so far :-))) thanks so much for the company during these long hours Reddit xxxxx

Glad to hear it. Now cover your penis next time so your parents can have you for years longer than what HIV would give them. Very happy for your results .

I will. I shall go amd buy a massive celebratory box of condoms and keep a couple in my wallet. :-)

The wallet is not a good place for condoms! They can easily get punctured in there. Better put them in a small sturdy case.

Buy some right here!

That is....sheer genius

Good shit. Go make that dubai money now and have an upvote

Thank you good sir, and right back at you

Isn't being deported the least of your problems if that is the case?

Yes, it is. It's just that if I got HIV in the UK, although devastating, it wouldn't be as humiliating. Being man handled by latex glove wearing prison guards and handcuffed in an airplane is not what I need if I find out I'm HIV+

Hmmm...perhaps you could describe the culture in Dubai? Im assuming that treatment would be due to their stance on homosexuality? I'm a bit confused, I thought it was a bit more progressive than that. Also, perhaps you could describe the process behind the HIV testing there? Are you required to get an HIV test by law? I don't know if I'm just woefully ignorant, but I'm more and more surprised the more you elaborate.

In order to get a work visa, one has to get a medical for HIV, tuberculosis and Syphylis. Medicals come every 3 years in order to renew said visa. Homosexuality is illegal with a 10 year prison sentence, but as far as I know is unrelated to their stance on HIV. I suppose, sensibly in some ways, they just want to keep HIV out of a country with such a multitude of nationalities making it their home.

I still find that law amusing on regards to homosexuality. One quick walk in JBR and you will know that it is rather common in that region. Especially in Sharjah.

Yes, I'm bi and know the gay scene quite well over here

You should do an AMA on that.

Good idea :-) I may just do that

I really do not intend to be hateful, but you do understand that statistically, not only would you be very unlikely to contract HIV from that encounter, but as a bi male having unprotected sex, you would be much more likely to be the transmitter of HIV? Just the numbers man...

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/law/transmission.htm (and those figures are with an infected source)

http://www.webmd.com/news/20040713/hiv-bisexual-bridge-to-women

Never slept with a guy. And was my first dodgy unprotected experience

Can't you just fly out yourself when you get the news?

I could, but some clinics give the results to CID before giving them to me...

Have you been to the indoor ski place?

No, it looks horrid. They imprisoned a bunch of penguins in there to amuse people

He means Ski Dubai and it is fantastic. Although my friends who have seen real snow say it sucks. The Penguins are in Dubai mall

Nope they're in Mall of the Emirates. Dubai Mall has the aquarium

Your chances of getting HIV through normal vaginal intercourse are almost zero. Good for you for getting tested, because there certainly is a chance, but try not to worry too much.

After hours of Internet research I've realised this is the case, but I've turned into a mega super hypochondriac as of recent

Run to your embassy. If they can't do anything, they'll tell you anyways (but most likely they can arrange the deportation themselves if they need to).

Quick google search gave me the adress: http://ukinuae.fco.gov.uk/en/help-for-british-nationals/

You can call them beforehand if they're far from your home, they'll tell you everything you need to know.

Thank you btw for the info, I will look into that

I'm hoping that the clinic I went to is as confidential as they claim, in which case, they won't report me to the CID and I can just slip out of the country. My visa is renewable every three years, which is when they do the medical, so would have plenty of time

By promiscuous lady, you mean prostitue right?

Actually no, just a very drunk middle aged Russian woman. No money exchanged hands

was she at least hot?

At the time yes. Very. The morning after, no, not at all.