tommytweeter

"YOU DONT PISS DOWN MY LEG AND TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY COURT"

"Sorry, your producer told me to..."

"CUT!"

What was doing heroin like?

Edit: I'm getting down-voted a lot, I assume people dont know that one of the first stories Dan Rather covered was about heroin. He tried the drug for the story.

I thought you were running for president... All of the other candidates are out working their asses off and you're going to see a shitty tom hanks movie?

Why would anyone vote for you?

I worked at a boyscout camp for part of a summer, but quit when they fired my friend and only black staff member for being "intimidating". I stayed in scouting and got my eagle, but I never went back to that camp.

We had a new scout and their family visiting one day and the father asked my scoutmaster if 'he was willing to kick out a boy if he seemed to be homosexual', My scoutmaster told him that 'being a scout is about following the scout law and oath' he went on to tell him that there was no bigotry in our troop and that we were a boy run troop, so although it wasn't up to him "our senior patrol leaders are better than that".

It made me extremely proud to be a member of our troop.

How good did it feel to nail Richard Nixon?

Edit: specifically when he asked "are you running for something?" and you responded with, in my opinion, one of the greatest one liners of all time. "No, sir, Mr. President. Are you?"