sasurvivor

Teaching English in another country actually sounds likes a potentially great option for an 18 year old who has to take care of themselves. I understand that aging out was awful, but how was living in Mexico? Would you recommend it to other youth lacking functional parents?

When my abusive father kept contacting me after many requests for him to stop, I went to a lawyer at a local community center who does walk in consultations for a $1/minute suggested donation. She sent him a very threatening letter saying that if he didn't stop contacting me a restraining order would be obtained against him and he would be sued for intentional infliction of emotional distress. I had no intention of suing him, but the scare tactic worked, and I haven't heard a peep from him since. It's worth a try. Most people can be intimidated by an official sounding letter from a lawyer, and it's a lot easier than going to court.

ETA: Here are some resources in your community: http://www.shakerheightscourt.org/forms/where-to-go-for-legal-service.pdf

Oh, I just remembered . . . I actually went to a restraining order clinic first. They told me it would be difficult to get a restraining order because there was no recent physical violence, and told me that they would write a cease and desist order. They said that was usually their first step, and it worked most of the time.

As a sexual abuse survivor, thank you so much for this. I was molested by my uncle when I was a little kid, and while he has never taken responsibility for what he did, it's quite helpful to read this coming from someone else's sexually abusive uncle. I know intellectually that it wasn't my fault, and hearing it from you is helping it sink it just a bit more.

p.s. I hope you don't commit suicide. I know I'm not the only one on this thread saying this, but dedicating yourself to healing and educating others so this doesn't happen again is a quite excellent reason to remain on the planet. Please get help. You are so much more than your worst moment.

The most helpful thing would be to help pay for therapy. I'm doing EMDR right now with a fantastic therapist and it's extremely helpful but rather expensive. My mother is contributing, but she can't cover all of it, and neither can I. However, I think I read somewhere in this thread that you make close to minimum wage, so I see how that's unlikely. I'll work it out. I can't think of anything else at the moment that you could do to help me.

However, I can think of something you can do to help your niece. It's my sincere recommendation that you stay alive, make as much money as you are able, and use it to create a healing fund for her. The money you paid for restitution just isn't enough to compensate her for what you've done to her. If she has access over the long term to what she feels she needs to heal, that would be the biggest way you can help her, and you can do it without having to interact with her.

Just curious, was it their drug use that bothered you? Or something else about their parenting? Were there any red flags of irresponsibility that the social worker doing the home study should have seen?