Perripotamus

not being able to fully discipline the kid sometimes

Argh, I know this feeling. I worked as a nanny for a wealthy family in Italy a few years ago. When the kids would act like little brats and order me around I told them that I would not do things for them, but I would do it with them, such as bringing toys from one room to the next. They would run to their mum who would be forced to give up precious time talking into her phone (it was almost attached to her face) and complain, and then she would ask me to do the task. I felt like a dog, and the kids could sense my place amongst the family.

Lady, I am trying to teach your kids to not be little shits!

What will happen if you leave your contract early? I've known nannies who quit when they were incredibly unhappy. It's not the end of the world. No one is going to call that family up for a job reference when you include your nannying on your resume when you return home.

Damn, irresponsible antibiotics is dangerous.

I had three months left with the family (and that was with no contract, just a verbal agreement after I had a week trial with them) and an agency which they had previously paid thousands to let the family know that another girl was interested in coming in two weeks, and that she wanted to work for a year. The family politely fired me (so fucking happy and relieved, but I was trying not to show it) because they wanted to secure the nanny who would stick around for longer. There was no bad blood between us.

I was really unhappy and disatisifed when I was at work during this time, and I believe that I would have completed the last three months despite hating it and feeling like a sack of shit. When you are working with a family and their children, the boundaries of what you would normally put up with really tends to blur. If I were in an office today and I had a lazy coworker demand things of me which weren't my duties which I then refused, and then the boss and the coworker pressured me into doing it I would recognise that as a horrible, toxic work environment and look for a new job without looking back. When you are working as a nanny you are forced to negotiate for yourself, and you are really at the bottom of the pack in terms os disposability.

Do you feel guilty when you think of leaving? Do you feel like you will inconvenience them too much as they struggle to replace you? Those are the things which held me back from leaving.

Don't worry about them. They are rich as fuck. If you leave the worst that will happen is that his parents might have to do a bit of fucking parenting.

Have you considered finding a job independently? There are nanny websites all over the world. You can continue to explore china but with a different family

What did the Japanese forces do which was particularly different from the atrocities committed during regular warfare?

My grandmother was from Papua New Guinea, and her father was beheaded in front of his family by a Japanese soldier. I am also aware of comfort women being used in countries further north which is still denied by some today and I assume it also happened in PNG. I understand if he doesn't want to talk about this though.

Thanks for doing the great AMA!

I met some nannies who were blissfully happy with their family, it really doesn't have to be horrible. Keep looking. You haven't failed, you just found what sounds like a fairly rude family and the pay isn't good enough to compensate it.

This is what I found after one minute of searching - http://www.greataupair.com/fastfind.cfm/search/family/careType/nanny/countryList/46. You are an English speaking nanny and you lend a massive ammount of status to any family that hires you, you will be snapped up so fast if you make a profile. And you can negotiate what you want too.

Use a few hours in your week off to meet up with some families. Go to a cleaner part of China. Keep on learning the language and then show your mum a great time when she comes to visit you. You can even organise to only work with a new family for as many months as you want so that you can give yourself more time to travel with your mum. You will be fine if you start organising it now, and can then scope out the familes to make sure they are not people smugglers or theives, etc.

I just realised that I'm making some big assumptiongs and coming across as hostile. I'm sorry, I just wish that someone had given me this advice, and I'm still annoyed with myself for how much time I wasted and how I didn't have a spine back then. Do what you think is best for you and what you are comfortable with. Good luck!