Misterpuppy

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm so sorry. Did you sue? Do you have PTSD?

I want Michael Bay movie proof. Do you have any photos of you jumping mid-air from an explosion? Or standing next to a tanned, furrowed Ben Affleck looking far into the distance circa late 1990s? Was Aerosmith playing as you did stuff ALL THE TIME?

Note: I have not seen a Michael Bay movie since the first Transformers and just assume all Michael Bay movies are variations on Armageddon.

THOSE RAG TAG MISFIT OIL DRILLERS SAVED OUR PLANET FROM DOOM. SHOW SOME GODDAMN RESPECT.

Holy shit. That's just a casual photograph of some dead bodies next to a story. While I would usually argue that the U.S. has more massacres per year, we don't casually just state that stuff next to some haphazard corpses taking up a football field. I used to work in the real news and... yikes.

And yes, I'm always thinking of Armageddon. It is a curse that I do not wish upon anyone, though the Michael Clarke Duncan scenes always bring me some small amounts of joy...

Are you okay with dying on a spaceship in a horrifying fireball or do you assume you'll die from exposure, lack of pressure, lack of air, lack of food, etc.?