Neil Darrow Strauss

best known for his best-selling book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, where he describes his experiences in the seduction community in an effort to become a "pick-up artist".

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iamneilstrauss1814 karma

I Am Woody Harrelson.

iamneilstrauss1132 karma

No wait, don't leave. Where are you going? We were just starting to have a good time.

iamneilstrauss626 karma

I think most men go in for women, but somewhere along the line realize it's not about women and never was--it's about themselves. In fact, most of the routines are not about "tricking women," they're about tricking OURSELVES into being comfortable with women.

iamneilstrauss623 karma

And no pun intended on blow by blow (before someone else says something to that effect).

iamneilstrauss505 karma

It is all accurate. What helped was: taking notes in the moment and immediately afterward. Also, at ProHo, once guys knew who I was, I started recording things. And I think in retrospect what really allowed me to put everything in there was the fact that when you were in the field, you were thinking, "I can't wait to go home and write a field report about this." So you were always immediately, while it was fresh, writing out a word by word, blow by blow, report for other guys.

iamneilstrauss319 karma

That is a GREAT question. And SO true.

And here's your answer: people tend to step up when they have a fear of losing something.

So if he sees a guy is interested in you, and you may be interested in him, his feelings may start to change.

What turns off a guy a girl is sleeping with is the same thing that turns off a girl a guy wants to sleep with: desperation and neediness. So eliminate those from your behavior in the friends-plus-ship.

iamneilstrauss299 karma

I charge $100,000 for them, because I don't want to do them. I like writing books, and am doing my best to scare people away. It appears to be working.

iamneilstrauss274 karma

Funny that you ask that, because I think it says more about your fears. Most guys do NOT experience horrific blowouts. Usually it's just someone saying "I have a boyfriend" or "I have to go to the bathroom" or just being a little cold and distant.

The questions says more about your own limiting beliefs, so get out there and approach people and prove yourself wrong.

iamneilstrauss266 karma

Oh, absolutely, a lot of the guys have psychological issues. I think everyone has psychological issues, in the world, just about--no one was raised perfectly. But I think the psychological issues in the community are more about men's low self-esteem, and not about negative attitudes towards women. In fact, as I write it, I realize their negative attitude is only toward themselves. So if their experience in the community fixes this, then that's a good thing.

iamneilstrauss265 karma

First of all, that's a great insight. And think about this: your experiences with pua got you to this insight, so are they bullshit then? Because what you did and describe as working for you sounds to me like The Game. But it also sounds like you came across some bad marketing or teachers.