Fat Mike

Start taking drugs and drinking a lot. You are going to eventually, so you might as well start now.

I get Matt Freeman to play my parts for me.

You're gay!

I haven't tried heroin or PCP or meth. I tried Kaht and GHB while I was in South Africa, but I was on coke and MDMA so I didn't really feel them. Oh, Darla, Daddy's just kidding.

I really do like playing it a lot. I like to see how wasted I can get and still get through it. I was on E once and couldn't remember what part was coming up next, but my hands went to all the right places. Stupid brain...

If you can't tell who the biggest douche is, its probably you. But I can think of a few. How about Greg Ginn?

I made fun of Shirley Mansion once and she kicked me in the shin. Once the singer of Skunk Anansie slapped my face. And of course I got Under Oath to quit the Warped Tour and eventually break up cuz all the shit I talked about them. I think they really think I am the anti christ... pretty close.

Because Lars said so on stage. I heard it.

yeah, but I need to hire someone else to write it.

What a coincidence, George Clooney is on reddit right now. I love that guy.