Hi guys,

I had lots of fun with my own AMA, so thought I'd do one for my wife as well. She grew up in a tiny village in rural north China, managed to make it into a three-year college, randomly met me, and long story short, now she's experiencing the US for the first time.

She speaks some English, so what I'm going to do is ask her your questions in English, and then if she doesn't understand I'll translate them into Chinese and ask them that way. Then I'll translate her responses back into English here, or if she responds in English, just type what she said in English.

Also, as she put it, 'I want to answer questions but I don't want to type.' So I will do the typing for her.

For proof, we took these two photos: http://chinageeks.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/proof1.jpg http://chinageeks.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/proof2.jpg (uploaded to my own site because imgur isn't working)

In the first one, you can see her US visa, as well as the US entry stamp. Of course, I did have to blur out all the personal details, but you get the idea. The girl in that image is NOT HER, it is a picture of the Project Hope donor who helped her family by sending them clothes, money, etc. It's from 1992. I didn't photograph the back because it's basically all personal information and I'd have had to blur it all anyway.

In the second image, you can see her Chinese passport, the same photo of the project hope donor, the same project hope donation card, but also a picture of my wife with her younger brother and older sister and their farm dog when they were young. This is, I believe, the only photograph that exists of her as a child.

We will get to ALL questions eventually except ones that have already been asked elsewhere in the thread, so if yours doesn't get an answer, that means it has been answered elsewhere or we just haven't gotten to it yet.

(Unless otherwise noted, all my future posts in this thread will be her speaking, not me. I'm just typing.)

UPDATE #1: OK, my wife has gone to sleep so that's it for tonight. We'll answer more questions tomorrow, though.

Comments: 1336 • Responses: 32  • Date: 

PagePenguin243 karma

No questions here. I just wanted to say, welcome.

custerc86 karma

Thank you!

SunnieRae139 karma

I am 2nd generation immigrant and my one piece of advise would be not to loose your culture and to teach your children where they are from. Unfortunately my parents did not do this and I feel like I missed out

custerc79 karma

"Thanks! Any other advice?"

iCameToTravel214 karma

Make sure they are taught Chinese. I didn't get to learn Cantonese, because my dad thought I wouldn't learn English if he spoke to me in Cantonese. Teach them Chinese, if nothing else. I can't stress this enough.

custerc94 karma

We will definitely do this.

Brohammad_Ali115 karma

What do you like the most about America? What do you like the least? What do you miss the most about China? What do you not miss at all?

custerc244 karma

What do you like the most about America?

Her: "Freedom."

Me: "What do you mean by that?"

Her: "You can see everything you want [on the internet]. It is not censored. And there are no forced housing demolitions or corruption."

What do you like the least about America?

You have to drive a car to get anywhere, and everything is far away.

What do you miss the most about China?

"The food."

What do you not miss at all?

"The government."

Allegianc3107 karma

First I want to start off by welcoming you to America and I really hope it's a great experience for you.

Now my questions. Is the Great Firewall really that bad? What kind of stuff does it prevent you from seeing?

I have heard that the Chinese government is slowly letting go of its tight hold of the Chinese people? Would you agree with this?

custerc148 karma

Is the Great Firewall really that bad?

Yes, the censorship system is very serious. If you say something bad about the government or mention some truths about the past, it may get deleted.

What kind of stuff does it prevent you from seeing?

For example, if someone's house has been forcibly demolished and the situation is very severe, this sort of thing can't be seen without "climbing the wall." Also, real information about things like the Cultural Revolution and the Great Leap Forwards. We just know the cultural revolution was bad, but you can't see how many people died then, or how many people starved during the great leap forward. Also, you can't look at porn.

I have heard that the Chinese government is slowly letting go of its tight hold of the Chinese people? Would you agree with this?

I can't answer this, because I didn't used to understand the truth about the government, so I don't know how it has changed if at all.

Allegianc325 karma

Thanks. One further question. What happens to those people that "climb the wall" which I take it to mean hack it and get full access to the internet?

custerc39 karma

Nothing happens to them. But it costs money [to pay for a VPN].

[Note from me: there are some free ways to do it too, but they're pretty technically complex and the vast majority of people have no reason to bother with it, as the stuff they want to see on the internet (games, TV shows, whatever) isn't censored]

popsjordy88 karma

What are some common Chinese stereotypes of Americans?

custerc201 karma

(long pause)

I haven't heard much about this. What we talked about wasn't Americans specifically, just foreigners. People say that foreigners are strong, that they can eat meat, that they don't take marriage seriously.

snarkdiva84 karma

I have two daughters whom I adopted from Jiangsu Province. Is the average Chinese person aware that many children (mostly girls) are adopted out of China, or is that one of those things that the Chinese government keeps quiet? Was the one-child policy enforced in your home village or were you allowed to have more than one child because it was a rural area? Thank you for doing this AmA

custerc245 karma

Is the average Chinese person aware that many children (mostly girls) are adopted out of China, or is that one of those things that the Chinese government keeps quiet?

Most people don't know about this, but it's not because the government hides it, it's just not something people pay much attention to.

Was the one-child policy enforced in your home village or were you allowed to have more than one child because it was a rural area?

Her: "In our village, you're only allowed to have one child, so my younger brother and I were both "extra births." So my parents had to pay a fine for each of us."

Me: “How much?”

Her: "That depends on the era. When I was born, my family was fined several dustpans. Maybe ten or more."

Me: "...what? Dustpans?"

[We then Googled the Chinese term, she's talking about things like this: http://a4.att.hudong.com/80/85/01300000025823121661857983065_s.jpg that you can make for yourself]

Me: "That's weird. They fined your parents ten dustpans?"

Her: "Well we didn't have any money then; there was nothing else for them to fine."

custerc26 karma

Is the average Chinese person aware that many children (mostly girls) are adopted out of China, or is that one of those things that the Chinese government keeps quiet?

Most people don't know about this, but it's not because the government hides it, it's just not something people pay much attention to.

Was the one-child policy enforced in your home village or were you allowed to have more than one child because it was a rural area?

Her: "In our village, you're only allowed to have one child, so my younger brother and I were both "extra births." So my parents had to pay a fine for each of us."

Me: “How much?”

Her: "That depends on the era. When I was born, my family was fined several dustpans. Maybe ten or more."

Me: "...what? Dustpans?"

[We then Googled the Chinese term, she's talking about things like this: http://a4.att.hudong.com/80/85/01300000025823121661857983065_s.jpg that you can make for yourself]

Me: "That's weird. They fined your parents ten dustpans?"

Her: "Well we didn't have any money then; there was nothing else for them to fine."

bunknown70 karma

How bad is the pollution in china or where you lived. Can you give examples?

custerc132 karma

In Beijing [where she lived for the last two years], you can't even see the stars. The sky is always white. But in [my village] the air is very clear, more or less the same as here [America].

martlet153 karma

Just curious if you will ever get to go back to China to visit if you wanted?

custerc83 karma

"Of course!"

(Note from me: She's a US immigrant but not a US citizen at present, so she can enter and exit China freely whenever she wants. All her family still lives there, so we'll go back and visit fairly often if we can afford the plane tickets.)

martlet123 karma

Oh, sorry I was confused. My friends are US citizens from Tianjin (or something close to that) and they can no longer go back to China. They are afraid that if they return they will not be allowed to leave.

I really love seeing all the pictures of their grandkids in China. The internet is an amazing tool for them.

custerc31 karma

(Note from me: Well, it depends on how they immigrated. It's possible they entered the US by claiming asylum because of persecution. Are they Christians or dissidents? That might be one reason they couldn't go back.)

Master2u38 karma

What do you think of Kung Pow Chicken?

custerc81 karma

"If it's made well, then I like it, but I don't like the bad stuff. I personally think the Kung Pao Chicken I make is the best."

(Note from me: Kung Pao Chicken is a real Chinese dish called 宫爆鸡丁 so that's what she's talking about. Most American Kung Pao Chicken is shit though. I don't think she's eaten any yet so she can't comment on the US version.)

Master2u26 karma

Do you have a recipe? I would love to make authentic Kung Pao, if you could convert the ingredients to American equivalents.

custerc236 karma

"Ingredients: Onions [the long skinny kind], peanuts, chicken breast, soy sauce, dark soy sauce, cooking oil, salt, vinegar, starch, egg whites, peppers (this kind: http://www.redcook.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/starter_pepper.jpg ),3 cloves of garlic.

First cut the chicken breast into squares. Put the chicken bits into a bowl and put a little starch into it as well. Then put two-three spoonfuls of soy sauce, a spoon of vinegar, a bit of salt, and stir it. Then leave it there for about 15 minutes. Then cut the onions into rings of about 3 cm width each. Cut the peppers and dice the garlic into

Get another bowl and pour 2 spoonfuls of the dark soy sauce, two spoonfuls of starch, one spoonful of vinegar, then put in a bit of water and stir.

Then turn on the heat on low and put vegetable oil into the wok. Then put the peanuts in, keeping it on low heat until their color changes. Keep stirring it on low heat until they change. Then take the peanuts out and put them somewhere dry (another bowl maybe).

Now put the chicken into the wok and fry that, stirring constantly until it's about 70% cooked. Then take the 70% cooked chicken out and put it in another separate pan, not with the peanuts.

Pour out any oil that's left, then pour in fresh vegetable oil into the wok. Let the oil heat up, then put in the garlic and the peppers. Stir this until you can smell the spice (the peppers mess with your nose). Then put the chicken back in, and stir. A minute later, put in the chopped onions and peanuts. Two minutes after that, put in the bowl of sauces you prepared. Stir it some more. Then you can eat it. "

[Note: I take no responsibility for whatever happens to anyone who eats this! My wife is a fantastic cook, but like most Chinese cooks, she seems to cook by instinct mostly and doesn't really bother with measuring anything or following a recipe. It should also be noted that while her Kung Pao Chicken is delicious, it isn't very authentic at all. She's from the Northeast of China, and this dish is a specialty from the central/west province of Sichuan. My wife cooks a very "Northern-style" Kung Pao Chicken. I still enjoy it though...]

iAmNeverRight18 karma

Dark soy sauce?

custerc31 karma

[The Chinese term is 老抽; that's the translation I was able to find for it. Im guessing you can find it at Asian grocery stores, but probably not in regular ones]

adowlen35 karma

Thanks for the AMA! I'm curious about Chinese sentiment toward the United States? What do actual people, (not journalists) from China think about the U.S. people and their government policies?

custerc79 karma

"Those who don't support the government think that America's policy of electing the president is pretty good."

[Note from me: This kind of question is tough to answer because she feels uncomfortable speaking for "Chinese people" as a group. For what it's worth, as an American who has spent a fair amount of time living in China, the opinions of actual people toward the US are about as varied as you'd expect. Some people worship it, others revile it, but most people fall somewhere in between. And a lot of people don't really have a strong opinion one way or the other on it, as for most people it doesn't really affect their lives all that much.]

Good_WO_God29 karma

Is Reddit censored in China?

custerc40 karma

No.

[Note from me: but she doesn't use reddit. Imgur is blocked tho]

730322 karma

Really? I was in China about 2 months ago and imgur was working fine, although imageshack was inaccessible.

custerc27 karma

[It comes and goes. Last I was aware it was down, but I'm not sure if it still is or not to be honest.]

Aaod28 karma

When dating a Chinese girl any advice you would give a male?

custerc48 karma

"It depends what kind of girl she is. But generally speaking [i.e. if she's a "normal" Chinese girl], you may need to be more proactive than usual [in your pursuit of her]."

Catbunny28 karma

Welcome! What is your favorite American food? Are you planning on becoming an American citizen? How different is America from what you had imagined or been told growing up?

custerc72 karma

What is your favorite American food?

"From what I've had so far, the tacos [my husband] makes....[sudden realization] Ah! Lobster."

Are you planning on becoming an American citizen?

I don't know yet, I'm still thinking about it. I want to experience and understand America before I decide.

How different is America from what you had imagined or been told growing up?

I really had no conception of America when I was a child. I just knew that there was a country called that.

Sir_Sexytime26 karma

What are your favorite pizza toppings?

custerc51 karma

(Sigh) Pepperoni

[Note from me: she's not a huge fan of pizza, sadly.]

JewJitzutTed23 karma

how strict is the government in china? are they oppressive? do the people receive lots welfare from the government?

custerc52 karma

do the people receive lots welfare from the government?

Her: "I don't know a lot about welfare because we weren't welfare applicants."

Me: But weren't you getting charity from Project Hope?

Her: "That's not the same. Project Hope was only for children, students who were in school; it's not related to the welfare system."

how strict is the government in china? are they oppressive?

"If someone hurts their reputation or their interests then yes, they may be oppressive."

CarlaTsuei21 karma

I was just in China for the last two month, and honestly... It was an unforgettable experience.

My question is, which province/city are you from? What do you miss most about that province/city?

custerc48 karma

"I am from a village in Heilongjiang province. What I miss most about it is my family."

[Note from me: There's not much else there...]

Frajer18 karma

Is being a girl in China as bad as it seems?

custerc95 karma

No. It was fine. But it depends what kind of girl. Obviously it's not good to be a prostitute in China. But just to be a regular common girl is OK.

somewhatopinionated17 karma

Have you tried many "American" foods? if so, how do you like them?

custerc43 karma

"I haven't tried that many things. But I like your mother's hamburgers. And also your tacos."

[remember here that she's talking to me, her husband].

clearlyunimaginative14 karma

I see you're from a rural town so maybe you can't answer this, but what are conditions like for factory workers there? Nearly everything we have in America is made in China, and I can't see how everything can be so cheap without some shady dealings. I've heard and read stories, certainly, just curious if you have anything to say about it.

custerc26 karma

[She doesn't know about this. Her family is all farmers basically.]

clearlyunimaginative16 karma

I thought that might be the case. Oh well, thanks and welcome to America!

No, wait! I have thought of something! What are the agricultural practices like there? I bought some frozen broccoli from China not too long ago and it looked... odd.... like it had been dyed to make it look greener. Are the guidelines different there, or did I just get a weird bag of broccoli?

custerc36 karma

Her: "Some vegetables will have things added to them to enhance their color. For example, they add stuff to watermelons to make the inside more red in color; or to tomatos to make them ripen more quickly."

Me: "Does anyone supervise that? Like, if you planted something and then wanted to sell it, is there someone who would come and inspect it first?"

Her: "Not usually, no."

Shark_Porn3 karma

How would you compare Chinese sexual practices? Are normal people more or less promiscuous than in the US? Was it something parents sheltered their kids from?

custerc6 karma

"We never talk about this when we are children. But when you are an adult, I think it is the same as America. Probably."

[Note from me: Pretty true. Chinese kids, even college kids, tend to know next to nothing about sex because parents don't talk about it, there's no sex ed, and most of them are too busy studying in high school to learn about it themselves. But once they grow up it's pretty similar to anywhere else I suspect...some people are promiscuous, some not, some kinky, some not, etc.]

kuhsay3 karma

Can you talk about Tienanmen square? How old were you when you learned about it? How did you feel once you learned the truth?

custerc8 karma

"I just learned about it a few years ago. At that moment, I didn't really dare believe this could be true. But later as I learned about more things like this [i.e. more things the government has done], I began to feel like it really could be true."

[Note from me: I bought her a VPN after we started dating so she could access the uncensored internet. It's worth noting that she, like most people, did know that SOMETHING had happened at Tiananmen in 1989, that there were protests and stuff. The government doesn't totally censor that that happened; but they keep the way it was "resolved" pretty quiet.]