When i was 18 years old my friends and I went to a girls rather lavish house to party. We all got shit-faced and the girl passed out. We robbed her house blind and joy-rode/wrecked her cars. I received a four year prison sentence for this. Some of my co-defendants also received prison terms of varying lengths. Currently I am still on parole and have been for the past year and a half, I discharge my case in 8 months.

What fueled this criminal behavior is something I'm not completely certain of. Alcohol, young adrenaline, cocaine, and foolish gangster mindsets I suppose. This happened on a summer break from my first year in college. My family was devastated and still have issues trusting me. I've come to terms with the fact that I am an dysfunctional alcoholic. I've been 100% sober since I was released and am now back in community college getting straight A's. With any luck I will be able to transfer to an university within the next year or so.

I don't really know how to prove that all this happened. I guess through reddit's interrogation and through some of my prison stories you will trust that I am what I say I am. Ask me anything. http://imgur.com/6Nc0t

Comments: 1795 • Responses: 38  • Date: 

DeviousD0ng340 karma

If i may ask, are all the rumors about getting raped in prison true? are there a lot of homosexual inmates? If you don't want to answer, i understand.

CerealKilla1592 karma

Rape is a very common misconception about prison. I never heard of any body getting raped while i was there. Haha I did hear of some young Juggalo who got caught sneak-thieving from his older defenseless cellie. A couple older convicts called him into a cell and told him they were gonna either stab him or fuck him. He said fuck it yall can fuck me. They had no intentions of fucking him or stabbing him they just wanted to fuck with him. Needless to say, because he didn't fight back or choose the more "honorable route", he was called a bitch and punk in front of everybody every chance they got. But yes there are alot of homosexual inmates, among the dudes doing lots of time like 20 or more years its more accepted. Generally dudes are called fags for it though. Homosexuality in there is a choice.

rumpledickskin157 karma

Could someone please clarify what is "sneak-thieving"? Is it just sneakily thieving stuff?

CerealKilla1499 karma

sneak-thieving is stealing from someone behind their back. It is only acceptable in prison to steal from someone if you physically take it from them.

ImJooba274 karma

After reading this entire thing,you've not only given me even more ambition to stay clean (11 months next week) But have eased a little on my friends in there.Yeah i write 'em and they write back,but they're both proud kids who won't admit anything (emotionally,physically or sexually) You've eased me mind,bro.You're definitely front page material.

CerealKilla1276 karma

11 months is a long time man keep up the good work. Its hard not to suffer in there emotionally so stay in touch with them as communication with the outside is VERY important.

yoinkmasta107243 karma

What was prison like? One of my biggest fears is accidentally doing something horrible and ending up in prison.

CerealKilla1389 karma

Prison isn't what its typically portrayed on the media as. It was everyday life to me. I woke up in the morning made my coffee, went to the chow hall to eat breakfast. Went to work cleaning toilets for a half hour or so. I had a very cush job. Took me a long time to get it too. After work i would go and work out. Then I would sit around and watch T.V. or study. I even taught myself how to speak Spanish while I was there. I had friends who I would go hang out with and play cards, chess, or scrabble with.

Checkers10160173 karma

Was everyone woken up at the same time?

How was the food?

Did you have a personal TV, or was it in a common area? Did you have cable?

Did you come out of prison in better shape than when you went in?

CerealKilla1398 karma

There was not any rules that said when you had to wake up, but if you wanted to eat breakfast then you had to wake up when they turned the lights on in the morning.

The food sucked ass, the only thing I looked forward to was canteen day when the food I purchased came in and I could eat starburst and bagel sausage sandwiches.

I had my own personal, clear T.V. We had if I remember correctly 24 channels. Mainly local channels like fox, abc, but we also had some cable channels like tbs and usa

I got out of prison in much better mental and physical shape than when I went in. I spent the majority of my time studying and working-out.

Naternaut80 karma

Piggybacking on your response, what do you think about how the states and federal government spend so much more money on prisoners than, say, schools?

CerealKilla1292 karma

I think its bullshit that they spend more money on prisons not prisoners than they spend on schools and education. It comes down to sentencing laws and the fact that our justice system focuses more on punishment than on rehabilitation. With corporations like CCA and all the for-profit prisons popping up, I don't think its going to stop anytime soon.

Frajer224 karma

Have you spoken to the girl since you got out? If not will you?

CerealKilla1183 karma

Yes, I had a girlfriend for the first 6 months I got out. I rushed into it far too quickly. It didn't end up working out although we are still pretty close friends. I have had 3 other girls that were more like flings since then.

Frajer320 karma

Sorry if that wasn't clear, I meant did you apologize to the girl whose house you robbed?

CerealKilla1492 karma

You were clear I just read it too fast. No I haven't spoken to her since and don't plan on doing so. My co-defendants and I all have no contact orders with the victim

zombieinferno213 karma

I was actually pretty surprised about the length of time you served for theft and property damage. My mother and two others were taken hostage by a County Sheriff's Deputy (with 15+ years Law Enforcement experience) back in 1986. He kidnapped and physically assaulted all three, discharged a firearm during the event. My mother was handcuffed to a post for 6 hours, hit three times in the head with a claw hammer, forced to 'play' russian roulette, etc.

He served three years in prison. None of it spent in general population.

That being said:

  1. Do you feel that the length of your sentence was justifiable by the extent of your crime?
  2. Do you have an opinion on mandatory sentences or think variable sentences as decided by a single judge are more effective?
  3. What is your opinion on sentences based on violent crime vs non-violent crime?
  4. What form did your rehabilitation take, or was there any specific means of rehabilitation done other than just removing you from society?

CerealKilla1219 karma

  1. I am divided between thinking my sentence was justified and thinking that it was harsh. It was definitely an eye opener and made me reexamine the choices I have made and what direction I want to go in my life.
  2. I think mandatory sentence laws are ineffective due to how much discretion district attornies have in make plea aggreements.
  3. I think violent and non-violent criminals are two different species and should be sentences as such.
  4. All i was given was a prison sentence and mandatory drug and alcohol classes on parole. The rehabilitation I have sanctioned upon myself is far more effective.

Also the traumatic events that your mother went through are a testament to judicial reform. A violent deranged psychopath that would put someone through that type of torture deserves a much longer sentence than a non-violent property criminal.

Mookface169 karma

Hey! Thanks for posting!

What was the thing you missed most while you were in there?

How has this experience changed you?

CerealKilla1359 karma

Number 1 thing I missed in there was my family. A very close Number 2 was pussy.

Its opened my eyes to the fact that I am accountable for my actions good and bad.

theytook-r-jobs168 karma

How did you handle the dementors? Did they serve anything but gruel?

HDzFlash59 karma

gruel sandwiches for breakfast lunch and dinner.

CerealKilla1330 karma

azkaban sucked

cassinator156 karma

I'm currently a Criminology major and personally have strong views on rehabilitation over retribution. Being able to put your story up for the world to see is incredibly refreshing. Many people are either too embarrassed or scared to talk about their prison sentence, but I feel that if more people did then people who are outside can get a genuine view on what actually goes on inside.

I think anyone who reads what you have said regarding your remorse and how you have taken accountability for your actions and still deems you criminal or dysfunctional is a complete hypocrite. Everybody makes mistakes. You were still very young when your offence took place, you had yet to grow up into the rational man you are today. Its just a shame they gave you such a long sentence for a non injury offence; (I guessing your American <gettoughoncrimeagenda>) in my opinion if it was youthful rebellion or alcohol or drug motivated there were other ways of rehab or conditional sentencing that could have worked the same (or slightly shorter sentence). However, I don't know your case, maybe being in prison for that period of time only strengthened you.

Either way, thanks for sharing your story. Keep up the college grades, you seem dedicated enough to go a long way in your life. I hope eventually (if not already) you take some time out to talk to some Criminology classes about how you've grown after being labeled an "offender". I always appreciate ex convicts coming to my classes, and I know a lot of students learn a lot from it.

CerealKilla1168 karma

I have thought about talking in front of possibly psychology or criminology classes. I will probably wait till further down the road. I don't really want to be outed as a convict on campus. My professors might be biased towards me.

cassinator51 karma

Yeah understandable. However, I think the Criminology professors are probably going to be ones least biased towards you. But it is probably best to wait until you are finished, you never know. Once you build strong relationships with your professors and classmates, they will only be more accepting and wanting to help you out down the road. But I think its definitely something you should do if your down for it. Would be great experience to talk to other people educated in the CJS. I've never once seen any of the volunteer speakers in my classes get bad feedback, always ends up being pretty rewarding for everyone.

CerealKilla167 karma

I will do it some day, possibly once i transfer out of community college I'll come back and speak there and like wise with the university.

suburban-dad142 karma

What scared you the most in prison?

CerealKilla1402 karma

The thing that scared me the most was seeing a little bit of myself in the other convicts. Almost like I was turning into somebody that I was not.

CerealKilla1127 karma

I am going to take a picture of my prison ID and block out any personally identifiable info. So if i don't answer some of your questions right away its because I am trying to figure out how to do this

Dyslxeia110 karma

You mentioned you studied a lot while in there..where did the materials come from? If from the prison, did they have a library of sorts?

Also, you mentioned renting porn from the older inmates. What did you give them in exchange for it?

Thanks for doing this AMA. It's been really interesting

CerealKilla1158 karma

We had an Inter-library Loan system where if the library at that facility didn't have a book i wanted then I could put in a request and they would search first the other prison libraries and if they couldn't find it there they would then search Colorado's public library system. i could pretty much get any book i wanted or needed. I also had family members send me books off amazon if it was extra important.

Stamps were the most common form of currency but you could trade anything off of commissary.

kimbrooke104 karma

Do you really classify yourself as a dysfunctional alcoholic or do you think you just made a horrible one-time mistake?

CerealKilla1172 karma

Dysfunctional alcoholic all the way. Its not only the decisions I've made while under the influence but the way I abuse it.

cursoryname48 karma

Why do you identify yourself as that though now? You didn't drink in prison right... and you haven't drank since being released so do you think that warrants you being able to say that you use to be a dysfunctional alcoholic?

CerealKilla1121 karma

I drank up until the point of sentencing. I was out on bond for almost a year and a half. I ruined even more relationships after committing my crime due to this.

Mulchbutler92 karma

Were there ever any major events (riot, prisoner escape, etc.) that had the prison do some classic lock down?

CerealKilla1153 karma

Oh ya, we were on lock down all summer one year because the surenos kept beating up and stabbing the nortenos. The population of surenos vastly outnumber the population of the nortenos probably by 10:1.

Mulchbutler88 karma

What was that like? Were you confined to cells all day or were there just a lot more guards everywhere?

CerealKilla1179 karma

We were confined to our cells all day except for chow which they would bring to our units. I "earned" a one man cell though so didn't really mind. All i did was work out, watch T.V., jack-off, and repeat.

RunninPig108 karma

What kind of wack-off material did you have? Where did you hide it?

CerealKilla1246 karma

We were allowed non-penetration porn. Didn't have to hide it. I would rent penetration porn from older inmates that had that shit grandfathered.

RunninPig185 karma

Grandfathered? As in they had it before the non penetration policy started and were allowed to keep it?

CerealKilla1213 karma


RunninPig364 karma

"Go ahead, try and take our penetration porn... I DARE YOU!"

CerealKilla1172 karma


Mulchbutler83 karma

You mentioned gangs a couple times.

  • Was it more common for a person to already be affiliated with a gang when they came into the prison, or did they join once in?
  • What was the main difference between being in a gang versus not being in one.
  • If you don't mind me asking, were you ever a part of a gang while in prison?

CerealKilla1154 karma

It was more common for people to come in already affiliated, well I guess that is incorrect. The latinos and blacks came in already affiliated but most white people joined up after coming to prison. The main difference in being in a gang or not being in a gang is that if you were in a gang you had to follow the gangs rules and live up to its expectations. A non affiliated person has to earn their own respect. I was never in a gang, however, I was close friends with a lot of members of one gang. If it came down to it i would have back them up individually but not back the gang up and it was mutual they each had my back individually but not as a gang.

Inky_musty71 karma

Did you get in any fights/brawls? Also you mentioned that you worked out, was there any gym equpitment or did you have to stick with body weight excercise?

CerealKilla1137 karma

I got in 2 fights my first week there. Once you establish the fact that you will stick up for yourself, people become a lot less aggressive. I got into a couple fights after that but always over dumb-shit and not anything that I initiated. Them old mother fuckers get pissed over stupid shit. The prison I was at for longest had dry-cells meaning the bathrooms were community. I was the first tier bathroom porter for my pod. I didn't feel like waking up one time to clean the bathrooms and some old-timer got in my face about it. I couldn't back down because other people saw what happened. I went in the cell with dude and he beat the shit out of me.

RobbieG76 karma

Can a person going to prison not fight and make friends? Or will they just be taken advantage of the whole time? If I were going to prison, would you recommend I fight people initially?

CerealKilla1123 karma

Being assertive is key to building friendships and maintaining comfort. Older convicts prey on the weak. I would only recommend fighting if it is in self-defense.

pour_some_sugar60 karma

What would have happened if you had 'backed down'?

CerealKilla1117 karma

At my age and demeanor i probably would have been extorted and charged "rent"

Kraker2062 karma


CerealKilla198 karma

Older, more established convicts charge weaker, younger "fish" rent. Meaning they extort them and make them give up their commissary.

hawttowel64 karma

How would you obtain cigarettes and where can you smoke them?

CerealKilla1219 karma

easier to get meth than cigarettes

jrizos37 karma

Seriously? From other convicts bringing it in? How on earth could it be smuggled in enough to provide? Also, what about smack? That too?

CerealKilla1224 karma

Yes, one of my closest friends smuggled meth in. He would have his wife put 6 individually wrapped grams in her snatch. When they were in the visiting room she would go to the bathroom and take them out and put them in her mouth. She would then share a drink with him and spit them into the drink. He would then swallow them and shit them out later. Making thousands of dollars at a time. Unfortunately for him he got caught and ended up with 2 extra years added on to his sentence, all his good time taken, and sent to the hole for the rest of his sentence which was like 4 years. There was also some heroin but not as much as there was meth. I think most people were scared that the balloons would pop in their stomachs and kill them.

mm2861 karma

Did you ever think of trying to escape and if so what was your plan?

Did you meet any friends in there you could see yourself hanging out with once they get out, assuming they're able to get out?

What was your greatest fear going into prison and did it live up to its expectation?

Thanks for the AMA!

CerealKilla191 karma

Never thought about escaping, I had too little time for that compared with the 12 years one gets for an escape attempt. I did have very close friends in there whom i kept in contact with for a little while when i first got out. I doubt I would hang out with them now that I am more integrated back into society.

salt_addict53 karma

How do you feel about your parole officer? Do you resent him/her or would you agree that they are just trying to do their job, keep you out of trouble, and sanction you if you screw up?

CerealKilla191 karma

My colorado parole officer was fair but the guidelines were far to strict there. I am currently on a Interstate Compact out of state. My p.o. here is very fair and i respect her a lot. She lets me do what i need to get my life back on track.

seeseanyawn33 karma

So, what's your favorite kind of cereal?

And okay, serious question. What are you trying to do career-wise? Are you worried that your past criminal record might prevent you from getting a good job?

CerealKilla1185 karma

  1. Kashi Go-Lean Crunch- shit keeps me regular.
  2. I am undecided at this point most likely engineering of some sort.
  3. Yes and no, while my criminal record will undoubtedly prevent me from getting some jobs. The things I am doing and will have done post-conviction will only speak to my character and show my potential employers my determination. I think something like 65% of people released from prison end up back in prison. If i can make it back in society and acquire a degree that a lot of people that haven't been to prison don't have, an employer will understand that I am hardworking and have turned my situation into something positive instead of negative.

[deleted]33 karma


CerealKilla188 karma

No, they are not allowed porn at all. They have their own units and pods designed for the sex offender programs they are taking.

Nihilithik29 karma

Have you ever watched "Lockdown" I used to think prison rape was the scariest part..after watching that show, trying to keep to your own self and not getting caught up in a gang or in debt seems to be the hardest part. Is any of that true? (guess you would have to see lockdown to see what im talking about)

CerealKilla166 karma

I have seen Lock Down, most of the stuff on that show is true but EXTREMELY exaggerated. By that I mean it is hard not to get caught up in a gang sometimes. People do get caught up in debt and do get beat up for it, but those people are fuckin idiots. Any body with a decent head on their shoulders and a little common sense can make it in prison.

Imxset2127 karma

Did you graduate high school before your conviction, or did you get a GED while in prison?

CerealKilla140 karma

I got my GED when I was 16 and went straight to community college.

captainchrispy19 karma

Were all of your friends given similar sentences?

CerealKilla144 karma

The sentences were handed out depending on the severity of the role each of us played. Mine was mid-range the worst being a ten year sentence. He was already on probation to begin with though.

Igortastic19 karma

You said before 'homosexuality in prison is a choice.'

Do gay men get beat up or singled out because of it or are they just accepted for being gay?

CerealKilla145 karma

No, gay men do not typically get beat up. There are exceptions: if a convict is in a gang or is accepted by gang members then unless he is extremely high-standing in that gang or has been around for a very long time and it is found out that he is bangin another dude, chances are he will get beat up.