I received a signal from the reddit hive mind to come here and chat. Not knowing much about reddit I checked it out, and it seems to be a really fucking cool site. I don't have a lot of free time, but if I can just hop on here every now and then and answer questions it might be fun. The best way to reach me is either my messageboard forums.joerogan.net or twitter/joerogan

Comments: 1695 • Responses: 37  • Date: 

JoeLauzonDotCom323 karma

Time for the hard hitting questions... like, Five Guys or In-N-Out?

JoeRoganForReals312 karma

Shamefully I've never had a Five Guys burger, but I'm an In-N-Out junkie. Protein style with lettuce leafs instead of a bun to cut back on the guilt. Raw onions are a must, and I usually eat at least 2 double doubles.

weedsalesman243 karma

Hey Joe, I used to think you were a douche when you took over the man show, but then I heard some of your talks on drugs and life, and I think you are a very insightful person.

JoeRoganForReals478 karma

Like I've often said, if I didn't know me, I would probably think I was a douche as well. I've often said onstage (and I think I might have already brought it up here) that if I wasn't me, I would probably have 5 minutes in my act dedicated to why I'm a dick.

danny841177 karma


JoeRoganForReals904 karma

I think for anyone that's had a full-blown psychedelic experience it's very difficult to say that anything is impossible. I don't believe 3 thousand year old books about Jewish zombies that heal the sick and walk on water, but some of the things I've seen in DMT trips are FAR more unlikely than that, and those experiences are only 3 hits and 30 seconds away at all times.

I think the "truth" might be far more complex and bizarre than we can ever wrap our limited imaginations around. There is a theory that inside every galaxy there's a black hole, and inside every black hole there's an entirely different universe filled with other galaxies, each having a black hole in the center, and in each black hole there is another universe with an infinite number of new galaxies, each with a black hole in the center that will lead you to another universe... and it goes on and on with no end ever.

It's also possible that what we think of as a "universe" might actually just be some sort of atomic structure in a much larger object, like a cell in another human, and that human lives in another universe with black holes leading to other universes, etc, etc, etc...

Who the fuck knows. I think to come out and say "THERE IS NO GOD" is just as ridiculous as saying "I AM GOD." It's all silly.
There are only questions, and for every answer a new group of impossible questions arise.
The clearer our picture of the universe becomes the more bizarre and impossibly complex it reveals itself to be.

I think "who the fuck knows" is the proper stance for all of us.

Raekwon169 karma

When you get a chance you should check out some of the other subreddits, like /r/standcupcomedy and /r/MMA

JoeRoganForReals543 karma

Cool, thanks. This place is a bit confusing. I feel like I'm editing the registry of my personal internet or something.

muddyalcapones163 karma

Hi Joe, big fan! Here is my question: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

JoeRoganForReals300 karma

Is that a Zen Koan?

nudista157 karma

What do you really think about Mencia?

JoeRoganForReals599 karma

He's a dull minded man that desperately wants to be loved.

[deleted]115 karma

Starting out in stand-up and grinding it out until you succeeded must have really taught you a lot about whatever it is that it takes to do that.

My question is, what does it take? Are there any particular books or philosophies that really got you through that, that you would attribute as especially crucial to contributing to your success?

JoeRoganForReals292 karma

Stand up - like all difficult things - is a vehicle for developing you as a human being. The more interesting shit you do, the more experiences you have, the more information you absorb and consider - the better you're going to be at it. The question "what does it take?" is a very tricky one, because the answer is very different for every single person that tries it. Stand up is a very weird art form in that no one can really tell you how to do it and explain to you how to be funny, it just has to "be in you." You can have a little bit in you and learn how to make it grow and nurture it, or you can have a lot in you and learn how to harness it and develop it to its full potential, but ultimately it's a personal journey that's different for everyone that tries it.

The most crucial thing to my success has been experiences, both positive and negative. Getting onstage over and over again, trying new material over and over again, failing over and over again... all of those experiences build up over time and become lessons that make you grow. It's a long and crazy process, but it's very, very satisfying when it all comes together and you can provide a room full of people with a fun and entertaining night.

CakeSmack101 karma

  • Who is your least favorite stand-up comic and why?
  • Also, did you know Greg Giraldo and what did you think of him?
  • Will you ever do a sitcom again?
  • What's you next project?

JoeRoganForReals164 karma

I don't have one favorite, but the ones I've enjoyed the most were the ones that went out there the furthest; Hicks, Kinison, Pryor, etc. All the classics, including Hedberg, Jeni, and as far as alive and contemporary Louis CK, Stanhope, Bill Burr - the list goes on and on. It's a great time to be a fan of stand up comedy, there's a lot of really good guys out there today.

I knew Greg from when I was on newsradio. He was filming his sitcom in a stage very close to ours so we got a bunch of chances to hang out and talk. He was a very smart, very nice guy. It's sad as fuck.

As for sitcoms, it's very, very hard to get one right. Newsradio was a rare perfect storm of actors and writers, and that opportunity was incredibly fortunate. I feel like I've been lucky all my life, but that was easily the luckiest break I had. Unlike my stand up that role could have easily gone to anyone. I'm working on a few things right now, including a book and a couple other project I can't really talk about.

CakeSmack59 karma

Awesome! Thanks for responding. Can I ask one more? What's the best anecdote or story you can tell us about Phil Hartman? Oh, also, how do you currently feel about Dave Foley, Andy Dick and Katie Griffin?

JoeRoganForReals209 karma

I have no stories to share about Phil, other than to tell you that he was a great guy and his murder was incredibly devastating to all of us. I actually found out about it because I had gone on one shitty date with a girl that was on Hard Copy which was a TMZ type show way back when there was no real internet presence. She woke me up and broke the news, and then proceeded to try to get my address so that she could send a camera crew to interview me. I told her to fuck off and never spoke to her again, but it alway felt surreal that I found out about the death of a good friend from a fucking tabloid journalist.

paranoidteenager98 karma

What tips could/would you recommend to a 16 year old? Thanks.

JoeRoganForReals340 karma

Do something difficult. A sport, write a book, create some work of art - I think that we find ourselves in creating and in solving problems. That's what builds character (other than overcoming tragedy) and getting through difficult things seems to be one of the only ways outside of psychedelic drugs to gain perspective.

Most importantly whatever it is that you really want to do with your life, DO THAT. Don't shoot for your back up plan, just concentrate all your efforts into whatever it is that you truly want to do. And if you don't know what you want to do, that's OK too. Just follow your true and honest instincts. I think most of us have a direction that we feel drawn to, but for whatever reason very few of use commit to the pull.

Best of luck to you.

ivesonman91 karma


Is it awesome being you? Because I have got to be honest, it seems pretty awesome to be you.

JoeRoganForReals295 karma

I'm an incredibly fortunate person. I appreciate it each and every day, and spend a good deal of time concentrating on enjoying my good fortune as much as possible, and putting out as much positive energy as possible. I'm not exactly sure what this life is all about, but when I think correctly and focus my energy correctly it's incredibly satisfying. I'm just lucky as fuck. One of the things I really appreciate is that people enjoy the things I do. I think that's one of the main keys to happiness; doing something that makes other people happy. We're all connected in some strange way that we can't really understand, and can't quite put our finger on, but for me at least it all starts to tune in when other people get enjoyment out of the things I've done. Again, it sounds like more hippy bullshit, but the things that have made me really happy are what I've done to make other people happy.

That's also why bombing feels so bad, and why having a dispute with someone you love sucks so much. We are in this realm to put out as much positive energy as possible; in the form of your chosen work, in the form of your friendships and your family, in the form of the things you say and the words you write. The more I can inspire, the more I can provide enjoyment, the more I feel it back.

So, yeah. It's awesome. It's supposed to be awesome for all of us, we just have to get our connections right.

pclamer91 karma

By the way, do you hate Dane Cook too? I am probably gonna get downvoted to shit for this, but I like him. Have you met the guy? Is he a douche nozzle in real life?

JoeRoganForReals177 karma

I've known Dane for 20 years. He's not a bad guy. He's made some unfortunate choices, but I like him as a person, and I think he's evolved considerably over the last few years. I had him on as a podcast guest and I really enjoyed it.

wunderboy74 karma

Joe, kudos for doing this. Do you ever get frustrated that being an entertainer has some how castrated your ability to be an intellectual? You could probably run rings around a guy like Tom DeLay (a true scumbag) but for whatever reason it's popular to say entertainers either know nothing or should not have a political opinion.

JoeRoganForReals393 karma

I'm hardly what I would call an "intellectual." I think a lot, and I ask a lot of questions and do a lot of reading and watching documentaries, but most of it is just fueling my own personal curiosity. When it comes to having a political opinion, to me that's almost the same thing as having an opinion on pro wrestling. Politics in this country (and all around the world for that matter) are an impossible tangle of bullshit and corruption. When I start paying attention to it and forming opinions I almost get mad at myself for following the projected storyline. The truth is always far more complex and twisted than what's being broadcast through the media, and behind it all is a wave of special interest money and propaganda. It almost seems impossible to fix.

If I ever had to go on a political talk show I think it would be very hard to take the whole proposition seriously, and I would almost certainly just start ranting about how ridiculous it is that we're even discussing it instead of unveiling the true motivation behind all world events; people with fuck loads of money want to make more of it, and they don't give a fuck who has to die to make that happen.

The_Superman_Punch74 karma

Joe, welcome to Reddit, you have just taken the AMA crown, by the way.

The idea behind this subReddit is to "ASK YOU ANYTHING." So I'm not gonna bullshit, and I'm gonna ask you the real shit.

If you had to choose between your UFC gig and your standup comedy, which would it be? Here's the hypothetical catch, though... if you give up the UFC, you'll never be able to watch another fight again.

Also, what's your first, or most memorable "Holy-Shit-I'm-Famous" moment... and along those same lines, when did you first realize or think you were "rich"? And c'mon, I'm not asking for exact figures or even numbers, but how well do your two main careers pay?

You have a unique set of careers/jobs that aren't exactly available to look up on Google.

JoeRoganForReals221 karma

I would choose stand up. Stand up is life. It's creative, it's something that I can do that other people enjoy and it makes their evening more fun. It's an incredibly fulfilling job. Your silly "you could never watch another fight" caveat seemed sort of high school "truth or dare" but if stuck with those options I would definitely choose stand up. If I had to choose careers stand up would be the easy choice because I enjoy watching fights much more as an audience member when I don't have to worry about what to say or who I might offend by saying something fucked up just to make one of my friends laugh.

As for famous moments, whenever I meet other famous people and they know who I am it's always strange. It always feels fake. Gene Simmons brought his whole family to my new years eve show, and I nearly shit my pants. It was one of the weirdest moments in my life. I was a huge kiss fan when I was a kid, so having that guy actually choose to spend his new years eve coming to see me perform was a real mind fuck.
It's all happened slowly and steadily for me, so I'm never really sure that's it's actually real. There's been many times where I'm baked walking around my house convinced that I'm in the middle of a dream. Who knows, maybe I am?

anonnow7 karma

I've never thought what it would be like to be completely baked and famous at the same time. That's a scary combination and possibly a humbling one. Kudos to you good sir for being down to Earth enough to still see yourself as human and spend time with us common folk. You break cultural barriers and yet still maintain this pop culture image, too. I wish there were more like you.

JoeRoganForReals32 karma

It's very humbling, but I think that's a good thing. Being famous and stoned is one of the most surreal feelings ever, until you start thinking about all the other aspects of life that are infinitely more bizarre; the temporary state of this life, the infinite vastness of the universe, the unending possibilities and never ending questions that accompany consciousness - it's all fucking crazy. If you don't feel humbled you're probably not paying close enough attention.

mazhas49 karma

Thank you for doing this Joe.

  • I know it was a very short skit, but how was Dave Chappelle? You two together seemed like a really hilarious time in between takes.
  • Favorite TV show? Current and past, doesn't matter.
  • Not really a question, but thank you for confronting that fuck Mencia. Not many people have balls as large as yours.

JoeRoganForReals114 karma

Dave is an incredible talent. I really wish he put more stuff out there these days. It was fun as hell doing his show. I think the Sopranos is my all time favorite show, but Breaking Bad is my current favorite distraction. Very well made show.

md70243 karma

sweet it worked! The internet does it again!

First off, love your podcast, i hope you do it forever and you replace that douche howard stern for 500 million.

which segues to my question, how come you don't do stern any more? I heard you had beef with him, like something to the effect of he said some things about you, and you didn't like it so you never did the show again.

Another question/request is how come you don't do more NY gigs, i see your schedule and NY isn't listed anywhere.

JoeRoganForReals108 karma

I'm still a fan of the show, and I still enjoy listening to it, but after he said that I "hate women" and said that I told a bunch of strippers "get away whores" I had to walk away. He loves drama, and that's all Kool and the Gang, but when what they're saying is not true and it's about you it becomes a very negative thing and leaves you with a very shitty feeling. If that was any one of my close friends and they got on a radio show and talked shit about me and lied I would have cut them off the exact same way.

I'm still a fan, though. It's a very entertaining program, and sometimes he has some interesting interviews.

Raekwon40 karma

You have a weekly 2 hour podcast that seems to get a ton of listeners. What do you think it is about your podcast that makes people download it every week?

If you were given the option to do a non downloadable radio show every day but you had to get rid of the podcast would you do the radio show or keep the podcast?

JoeRoganForReals95 karma

We're working on putting it on Sirius right now, and the only way I was into doing it was if it could still be a free podcast as well. They're down with that, so we're working out the details.

As for why people enjoy it, I'm guessing that it's because it's a free for all conversation with friends just hanging out and talking about interesting shit. I think we could all use a little more of that in our lives. I also think it's because we'll talk about any topic that's interesting to us, and we don't have any promotional agenda. My podcast has gotten to where it is with no promotion whatsoever, and that's one of the things that I really enjoy about it. It's totally "organic" in that sense.

It's a fuck of a lot of fun to do as well, and I think that makes it more interesting to listen to.

[deleted]38 karma


JoeRoganForReals161 karma

When I'm high it makes me paranoid and it makes me laugh hysterically. Since I know Alex very well I think I've got a healthier perspective on what he's talking about than some folks that are die-hard fans and toxic conspiracy nuts. The real problem with Alex Jones is that he's right. A LOT. Not all the time, but enough to let you know that the way we've been told that this world runs is utter complete horseshit.

Some conspiracies are real, and the biggest trap of all is to not consider any of them out of a fear of being labeled foolish.

Just look at what came out today about the US infecting innocent civilians in Guatemala with sexually transmitted diseases just so that they could test penicillin on them. Look up "operation midnight climax" where the CIA ran brothels in the 50's in NYC and San Francisco where they tested out LSD on unsuspecting victims. Look up Operation Northwoods and the real story behind the Gulf of Tonkin.

Don't think for a moment that those conspiracies are the only ones the US has ever been involved in, and that we're not currently involved in a bunch of fucked up secret illegal shit all over the world right now as I'm writing this.

Alex is wrong a lot. He's also right a lot, and that's scary as fuck.

phoenix_dot_exe33 karma

JOE! Glad you're here. I've had a sample of you talking about DMT on my hard drive for a year, and I want to put parts of it in a song at some point. Do you mind?

I never knew it was from YOUR podcast. I never knew you HAD a podcast! What would you say were the best ones, so I know which ones to download first?

JoeRoganForReals105 karma

The DMT talk that's all over the internet is many years old, and it's not from my podcast. It's from Jim Breuer's show in Sirius. We were hight on pot lollypops and I just started going off when a caller asked about the subject. None of it was prepared. It sounds completely ridiculous, but it's almost like DMT knew that was the perfect time and the perfect setting to get the message out, and it used me to do so. I know that sounds like some serious hippie bullshit, but I'm not completely convinced that it's not true.

JoeRoganForReals37 karma

As for the best podcasts, the Stanhope one is my favorite, but most of the more recent ones when we got our sound issues sorted out are pretty good. The Duncan Trussell one is really interesting, as are the Bryan Callen ones.

SnugNuts31 karma

When is the last time you've done DMT?

JoeRoganForReals78 karma

It's been a few years, actually. I'm still trying to absorb everything from my last trip. It was a real life-changer.

Soupstorm35 karma

Has your use of entheogens made it easier or more difficult for you to connect with people and/or the social fabric and/or concensus society (kind of made up a term there)?

JoeRoganForReals154 karma

That's a good question. The deeper you go into the rabbit hole the harder it is to have conversations with people back on the surface. I think one of the main ethics of any psychedelic substance should be that you should be able to take something out of the experience and apply it to life here in normal land.

Psychedelic experiences certainly make you more humble, and make you more patient and kind, but they can also put a lot of distance between you and the civilians. For most people uninitiated in the ways of psychedelic adventure you can't even breach the subject with them without making everyone uncomfortable and alienating yourself. It's a very frightening and polarizing subject, and for good reason.

ThunderBreeze30 karma

Hey dude thanks for making this post.

I was wondering, if time travel were possible, what would current-you tell your 20 year old self?

(This question brought to you by a 20 year old fuck up that got kicked out of his parents' house.)

JoeRoganForReals154 karma

I would tell myself to think harder, trust my instincts, and be absolutely sure despite all the evidence to the contrary that everything is going to be alright. I don't think it would have mattered, though. I think no matter what every young person has to navigate their way through their own personal hurricane of confusion to find peace. Without the storm there can be no calm, without the dry-spells you'll never appreciate the rain, without being exhausted you'll never really appreciate sleep. We all have to go the hard way it seems.

[deleted]28 karma


JoeRoganForReals75 karma

I think eventually it's going to move outside of my office couch and into an actual studio where we can take calls and play sounds/songs more efficiently. Then people will of course whine and pine for the good old days when it was hardcore and underground :)

[deleted]18 karma


JoeRoganForReals38 karma

Yeah, Anthony is one of the reasons why I started mine, before I started putting it up on itunes. The ustream audience we have now is just a tiny fraction of the mp3/itunes audience, but when I started out in December that was the only place we were doing it.

ogopogo128 karma

I've had you pegged as a sativa man, so which do you prefer, sativa or indica?

JoeRoganForReals91 karma

Sativa all the way. Once I discovered the difference I very rarely smoke indicas, and when I do I usually regret it.

shagreddit26 karma

in one of your bits you alluded to a possibility of there having already been advanced civilization(s) here on earth. Do you have a steadfast opinion on this? Would you share that with us?

Or, is there perhaps any thing you would like to share on your beliefs in UFO's or things of that nature?

JoeRoganForReals47 karma

I'm a huge fan of Graham Hancock's work, especially his groundbreaking book "Fingerprints of the Gods." Graham is a brilliant man who has dedicated his entire life to proposing the idea that human beings and advanced civilizations have been around far longer than conventional archeology would have us believe. He proposes the idea that the Earth is in a constant state of change and that cataclysmic disasters have all but wiped out human life many, many times, and that civilization has been forced to start from scratch, forgetting many of the lessons of the past. I think it's a very intriguing possibility.

John Anthony West shares a similar point of view, and his DVD series "Magical Egypt" goes into that subject in great detail. It's on of my favorites.

thonl26 karma

As someone that has traveled pretty extensively, and has the resources, is there a place you would you live if you could pick someplace other than where you are now?

JoeRoganForReals110 karma

I loved living in the mountains of Colorado. It was my favorite place to live by far. Dealing with the elements and wild animals can be a real bitch of a trade off, though. It was snowing up there early in October, and my dog got eaten by a mountain lion. Other than that, it was fucking perfect. If I didn't have a family and little kids I'm pretty sure that's where I would have stayed.

just driving home every day was incredibly humbling. It was like staring at the most incredible artwork ever, and it was massive, all around you, all the time.

BlakeH130125 karma

If you could choose to go back in time and shake anyone ONE Man(or woman)'s hand who would it be and why?

JoeRoganForReals55 karma

Terence McKenna. I learned more from reading his books and listening to his lectures than anyone I've ever been exposed to. He was a completely original thinker.

Him, and John Lilly. John invented the isolation tank, and that has been the most important thing I've ever used for expanding consciousness on a day to day basis.

undercoverpenguin24 karma

Up front, I'm going to admit I don't know much about you outside of the fear factor days, confronting Ned McMencia, and your role as an MMA commentator. I don't intend to say you're not worthy of the opportunities that have presented themselves to you, but what makes you different than an everyday, normal guy? Don't get me wrong, I admire what you do. I was just wondering what sets you apart from an idiot like me?

JoeRoganForReals73 karma

Nothing. I got on a path, and I kept going. You could have done it too. I guess the thing that sets me apart was that I took a chance and got on the path in the first place.

We're all just people. The more extraordinary people I meet the more that point is hammered home. We're all special in some way and we're all normal in some way. The difference between the people that stand out and the others is the chances they've taken and the path they've chosen.

thrav24 karma

Question fom my buddy who is unfamiliar with reddit, but likes Joe Rogan: I love marijuana I want to keep smoking it; I am a University of Texas student. How do you view smoking bud? Do you do it in a daily basis? And do you think doing so would be detrimental to building a successful career and/or life?

JoeRoganForReals154 karma

I think Marijuana is a tool that nature has provided humans with to expand our consciousness and turbo charge our creativity. Like all tools it should be used when you need it. If you're a carpenter, you're probably going to use a hammer every day, and if you're a writer I would recommend you find a good supply of the green and puff that shit with extreme prejudice.

As for whether or not it can be detrimental, I think any job where weed is going to fuck you up is probably a job that you don't really want in the first place. Unless you've got a family to support and a gang of responsibilities I would definitely recommend following a career path where you can do whatever the fuck you want to in your free time. We've gotten to this weird state in our society where people just accept that your shitty job doesn't just own you from 9-5, but that they can test you to find out if you're doing things in your time off that they don't agree with. That is some fucking BULLSHIT. It's one of the greatest travesties of our culture that we allow corporations to randomly test our bodies to see if we've consumed substances that they have deemed unacceptable, even if we're 100% sober during the agreed upon work time. That is nothing more than bitch-training and social engineering. By getting you to accept their rules they're getting you to admit that they own you. It's an unfortunate reality for many of us that need our jobs to feed our families and don't have the luxury of walking away from such a restrictive and controlling environment, but while you're young and you have the option I would STRONGLY recommend you avoid any and all career paths that would take you down the road to become some company's bitch.

You can become mentally addicted to almost anything in life, including washing your hands and masturbating. I don't consider that kind of addiction the fault of what you're hooked on, I think it's just a mental error. That's the only real addiction you can have with weed, and the reality is that if weed can get you like that anything can.

I think all human beings need discipline. As long as you have that, you don't ever have to worry about weed, or any other obsession ruining your life.

The_Superman_Punch23 karma

Why not openly smoke on the podcast? I always wonder how you guys can go the two+ hours without beaming up again, you know?

JoeRoganForReals164 karma

I think it's good to blaze beforehand and then not get too high to comfortably talk in a format where hundreds of thousands of people will be listening to what you're saying. If we kept blazing there's a very real possibility that one or all of us would fall apart at the seems. We only did one show where we got high through the whole thing, the 4-20-10 show, and it wasn't one of our best.

A little high is good for a conversation, too high is not.

psyclops17 karma

My friends and I just got our first tickets to a live UFC event in Anaheim. Give me some inside dish on what to expect in the $75 cheap seats and at our first UFC in general. Oh and you rock, thanks!

JoeRoganForReals42 karma

You're gonna love it. There's nothing in the civilized world that's legal that can compete with the excitement of a live UFC. They sell these little radio things that you can listen to the commentary on too, just incase something happens and you want to be clued in as to what the fuck went down. I think they're 10 bucks.

I do a comedy show the night before most UFC's, and that Friday night October 22nd I'll be at the Galaxy Theater in Anaheim.

ReliableSource17 karma

Do you still play a lot of pool? Your Strickland impression is pretty spot on by the way.

JoeRoganForReals37 karma

I play as much as I can, but I'm busy as fuck these days. I've actually got a pool show on the back-burner, but I can't really go into details. Pool was one of my main obsessions and addictions when I was growing up.

[deleted]15 karma

Huge fan! Your podcasts are amazing, as is your standup and UFC commentary. I love how you put it all out there.

Have any plans on bringing your stand-up back to Omaha, Ne?

JoeRoganForReals32 karma

If we do another UFC in Omaha I'll definitely do stand up there. The way we usually work it is I MC the weigh ins on Friday, do stand up in whatever town we're in on Friday night, and then Saturday is the fights. When I go to the UK I get there a bit earlier to acclimate, so I do 2 nights of shows.

[deleted]14 karma


JoeRoganForReals45 karma

There's nothing I can really do about it but continue to be me. I think in some ways it's better that I've got this weird image because it makes it far more difficult for people to take me seriously. People can really get swallowed up in other people's adulation, and in that sense haters are a good thing because they balance out all the love and prod you to keep things in perspective.