Comments: 34 • Responses: 6  • Date: 

Marius_3412 karma

How would you say 9/11 has affected your fathers mental health?

kyeela16 karma

He says that in the year following 9/11, he got more jumpy than he normally would when he heard loud noises. Some of my family members say it softened him a lot. One of my cousins told me once that he didn't think people were capable of true personality changes until he saw my dad before and after 9/11. If you ask me, that's a bit of an exaggerated take. But maybe I'm just too close to it. I think he dealt with a lot of survivor's guilt, even though his direct employees all ended up surviving. It's hard to make sense of why some people make it out and others don't, so I get it. Thinking about the first responders, especially, is really tough for him. Prior to my mom passing away, I had only ever seen my dad get teary-eyed twice in my life. Once was pre-9/11 when he was talking about his mom who passed away. The second time was post-9/11 when we saw the movie World Trade Center in the theater. I think he fared a lot better than many when it came to any long-term mental health issues, but I know he still carries pain from that day.

Aviconus5 karma

Op can you repost to another sub if these mods aren't going to allow it?

kyeela7 karma

Looking for a place now. I'm a bad redditor!

Aviconus4 karma

Saved your other OP with anticipation of your father's recount of the day. Hopefully these mods get their shit together.

tomcruiseincocktail24 karma

I did too, I have a feeling a decent-sized chunk of reddit did after reading OP's incredible story. Pretty ridiculous that it got taken down imo.

kyeela3 karma

It was my own fault for neglecting to post until late, then panicking because I didn’t know where to post it and choosing a subreddit that wasn’t the right fit, as I ended up not being able to see most of the comments since they weren’t phrased as questions. I have posted it elsewhere. I’m a bad redditor. I’m learning, but oh well. Thanks for reading though!

BraveFart734 karma

Has any family member from your dad's company who did not survive ever say they wished it was him instead of that member? Does your father suffer from PTSD, and if so...how does he deal with it?

kyeela7 karma

To my knowledge, no one ever said anything like that to him, though I'm sure he wouldn't blame them if they did. He did tell me a story today about someone who was higher up than him in the company who had been killed and his body was not found. He said that a week or so after 9/11, the man's widow called the control offices and was put on the phone with my dad. She yelled at him and asked why they had not recovered her husband's body yet and asked what he was going to do about it. He tried to explain to her that he was not at all involved in recovery efforts, but she wouldn't listen. So he just let her yell. He doesn't suffer from any PTSD anymore, but this anniversary each year definitely triggers some difficult memories and emotions.

Elementalbreak2 karma

This is absolutely incredible! I haven't looked into much about the incident that happened today, but I am glad I decided to check Reddit! Your story of your father's experience is truly amazing! For me, I have a hard time believing in human compassion, simply because of my upbringing and others reasons, however, this truly makes me reconsider how I view others! I thank you so very much for sharing, and am very glad about your father and family friends/coworkers surviving this tragedy!

Does he still keep in touch with his secretary, as well as other people he knew?

kyeela1 karma

Thank you for the kind words. He does still keep in touch with his secretary and several friends from the office. He moved away to FL many years ago after he retired (for the second time), but some of his friends come to visit from time to time. I think when you experience something like that together, you remain pretty close no matter time or distance.