HELLO. I AM A GRAPHIC DESIGNER/HUMAN MAN AND I AM NOT A WOLF. I AM TOLD YOU MAY ASK ME ANYTHING

                    How do I convince people that white space is important in drawing attention?

USE A TON OF WHITE SPACE AND GET THEIR ATTENTION

Why are horses so shifty? They always look like they’re planning to destroy something

I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE FINALLY ADDRESSED THE HORSE MENACE

WE ALL NEED TO DO OUR PART TO DEFEND HUMANITY

HORSES ARE TOO BIG AND ANYTHING THAT CAN KICK YOU TO DEATH SHOULD NOT EXIST

LOOKING AT YOU, CASSOWARY

Which is better, head scratches or belly rubs?

THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE QUESTIONS BECAUSE ON ONE HAND BELLY RUBS ARE MORE SATISFYING OVERALL BUT THEY LEAVE YOU INCREDIBLY VULNERABLE TO ATTACK SO I WOULD HAVE TO SAY HEAD SCRATCHES BECAUSE YOU GET ALL THE SATISFACTION WITH NONE OF THE STRESS

What is your favorite cut of steak and how do you like it done?

WHOLE COW RARE

What is your favorite banana bread recipe? This is an important source of conflict among many humans. I will need to make yours to be sure you are, indeed, not a wolf.

HAHA YEAH I KNOW WHAT BANANAS ARE AND AM DEFINITELY NOT GOOGLING THEM RIGHT NOW

WOAH THESE THINGS ARE MESSED UP I AM LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT FOOD TODAY

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

WOAH WAIT WHAT IS A HOT DOG

OH MY GOD THESE THINGS LOOK AWESOME HOW MANY DO YOU THINK I COULD EAT AT ONCE

Why are you yelling?

WHY ARENT YOU

Hi, you're my favorite twitter account to follow. Thanks for keeping the world informed on your v important non wolf activities. <3

• What is your opinion on three wolf moon shirts?

• Do you like watermelon?

• Did you catch the super blue blood moon last night?

HEY IF YOU CAN GET YOUR ARMS THROUGH SHIRT SLEEVES I SAY YOU CAN PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT ON THE SHIRT ITSELF

I AM A HUGE FAN OF WATERMELON, ITS LIKE IF APPLES WERE BLOOD

I DID NOT SEE THAT MOON BECAUSE IT WAS CLOUDY BUT THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE I FELT WAY STRONGER THAN USUAL LAST NIGHT

Who's a good boy?

WHAT MAKES A GOOD BOY? IS A GOOD BOY BORN OR MADE? DO WE NOT ALL CONTAIN THE RAW MATERIALS NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD BOY OR, GOD FORBID, A DIRTY DOG? IS THERE NOT A DARK PORTION WITHIN ALL OUR HEARTS?

ANYWAY I AM, I BELIEVE IT IS ME WHO IS THE GOOD BOY

How do you feel about the Samuel Johnson quote "(H)e who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man"?

HE WHO MAKES A MAN OF HIMSELF GETS TO STAY INSIDE AND EAT MELTED CHEESE

Bathing suit season is just around the corner, do you have any tips for keeping a trim figure?

FEAST ON THE BONES OF ANYONE WHO CRITICIZES YOUR FIGURE

Do you want a treat / ball?

I WILL NOT BE DISTRACTED BY THE PRESENCE OF SOME SORT OF BALL AND I WILL ABSOLUTELY NEVER CHASE AFTER IT BECAUSE SOMETIMES THE BALL HAS ACTUALLY NOT BEEN THROWN AND FRANKLY THAT VIOLATION OF TRUST IS WHAT PROVES THAT THE HEART OF MAN IS CORRUPT AND DISGUSTING

SOME BACON WOULD BE NICE THOUGH YES I WILL ACCEPT THAT

What is the best way to eat a freshly killed cotton tail rabbit?

I RECENTLY CAME INTO OWNERSHIP OF A SLOW COOKER AND FRANKLY I HATE IT AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM SURPRISED BECAUSE ALL THE STUFF I DO NOT LIKE ABOUT IT IS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME. A FRESHLY KILLED RABBIT SHOULD BE EATEN FRESH, JUST DIVE RIGHT IN. IF YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT RAW MEAT IT WOULD MAKE YOU SICK OR SOMETHING

OH IT MAKES THEM SICK? LIKE INCREDIBLY?

OKAY I’M GOING TO TAKE ANOTHER RUN AT THAT ONE

HEY PAL, I JUST GOT A SLOW COOKER AND I LOVE IT!

Did you find Wolves of Wall Street misleading?

ABSOLUTELY, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE OF A CONDEMNATION OF BELFORTS DESPICABLE BEHAVIOR BUT THEN HE MAKES A CAMEO AT THE END AND YOURE ALL LIKE “WHAAAA DOES SCORSESE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS MONSTER?” AND IT KIND OF SOURED THE WHOLE THING FOR ME BUT MAN ISNT THAT JUST CLASSIC CAPITALISM

Should schools stop teaching "Little Red Ridinghood" and other lit that teaches children to hate people who have more than two legs? Hate literature in schools is a very big problem in our area.

I THINK ITS PRETTY MESSED UP TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF A GRANDMA JUST BECAUSE SHE HAS HUGE AWESOME TEETH SO YEAH LETS GET THAT BOOK OFF THE SHELVES

What do you think of wolves?

GOD WOLVES MAKE ME SO MAD

THEY ARE SO POWERFUL AND STRONG AND THEY MAKE ME QUESTION THE HIERARCHY OF OUR NATURAL CYCLE

UGH I GET SO FRUSTRATED THINKING ABOUT HOW THEIR POPULATIONS ARE DWINDLING

OR HOW DESPITE NEAR EXTINCTION IN CERTAIN AREAS THEY CONTINUE TO REGAIN THEIR STRENGTH

What is your favorite kind of bird?

ANY FALCON

I HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR FALCONS

Do you think wolves should be reintroduced to Scotland?

ABSOLUTELY I THINK THAT WOLVES SHOULD BE INTRODUCED TO A LOT OF PLACES

-SCOTLAND

-SENATE

-THAT GAP OUTLET THAT I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED INTO

-SERIOUSLY WHY CANT YOU BRING HAM TO THE GAP

How would you suggest catching some sheep? Asking for a friend.

WELL AS MY MOTHER USED TO SAY

EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU MUST JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE CRUEL AND UNYIELDING HAND OF NATURE

WAIT SORRY

YOU CATCH MORE SHEEP WITH KINDNESS THAN WITH 300 PSI OF JAW STRENGTH

WAIT

BE NICE TO SHEEP AND MAYBE THEY WILL HANG OUT WITH YOU OR WHATEVER

Do you think you'll get married and settled down sometime?

EVERY TIME I GO OUT WITH A HUMAN THEY’RE ALL

HEY TAKE OFF YOUR TRENCH COAT

AND

WOW IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF HORRIBLE SECRET

SO I FEEL LIKE I JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON ME RIGHT NOW

Why are your favorite techniques of dealing with the totally normal stresses of being a typical human man in a not at all confusing modern world?

GREAT QUESTION PAL BECAUSE BEING ALIVE IS INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL

I TEND TO GET MY PEACE OF MIND THROUGH SWEET SWEET EXERCISE BECAUSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT CAN YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU RAN AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY COULD? I CAN. IT WAS NOT THIS MORNING IN PURSUIT OF PREY, I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO HIT THE TRACK AT MY LOCAL COLLEGE CAMPUS

ALSO I HAVE BEEN PLAYING A TON OF STARDEW VALLEY LATELY THAT GAME IS INCREDIBLY CALMING

What is the best sandwich?

ITS ALL ABOUT WHAT MOOD YOURE IN

A DRUNK GRILLED CHEESE IS BASICALLY A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE

A GOOD STEAK SANDWICH WILL MAKE YOU SO FULL YOU GET TIRED AND THAT RULES

BUT REMEMBER THAT TECHNICALLY ANYTHING BETWEEN BREAD IS A SANDWICH SO GRAB SOME BREAD AND GET CREATIVE

WHERES GARY

What's your favourite item of clothing to wear on a night out?

GOD THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM, I AM CONSTANTLY USING THE MONEY I EARN AT MY CORPORATE JOB TO BUY CLOTHES TO WEAR IN MY FREE TIME. RECENTLY I BOUGHT A SWEATER AND THE OTHER DAY I BOUGHT A VEST BUT IF YOU SEE ME OUT ON A FRIDAY NIGHT I WILL LIKELY BE WEARING SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES A SUIT I RETRIEVED OFF A DEAD MAN AT THE BEACH AND I WILL ALSO PROBABLY BE PRETTY SURPRISED TO SEE YOU BECAUSE USUALLY AT NIGHT I KIND OF HAVE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

What about your human teen years?

AS A TEEN I OFTEN SPENT MY TIME LISTENING TO CONTEMPORARY MUSICS AND YELLING AT ONE OR BOTH OF MY PARENTS. I WOULD ALSO OFTEN THINK ABOUT HOW WOLVES DONT REALLY HAVE THE CONCEPT OF TEEN YEARS AND HOW ONE DAY THEY ARE BORN BLIND AND THEN THE NEXT THEY ARE EXPECTED TO JUST KILL STUFF AND BATHE IN BLOOD AND ALWAYS WORSHIP THE HUNT AND MAYBE SOME OF US WANTED TO LISTEN TO THE MOUNTAIN GOATS TOO BUT WE NEVER GOT THAT CHANCE BECAUSE WE LIVED IN THE GODDAMN WOODS AND HAD TO INSTEAD MURDER ACTUAL GOATS NEAR AN ACTUAL MOUNTAIN

What is your social life like?

IT IS BOOMING

I HAVE TONS OF HUMAN FRIENDS WITH WHOM I CONSUME ALCOHOLIC DRINKS AND BRUNCH MEALS AND SOMETIMES WE EVEN GET TOGETHER DURING THE WEEK TO COMPARE HOW TIRED WE ARE

What is your opinion on the moon? Additionally what is your favourite style of ham - honey baked? Maple glazed? Trench coat shaped?

I WAS NOT TOO LONG AGO INFORMED THAT THE MOON IS NOT JUST A LIGHT SOURCE BUT IN FACT AN ENTIRE LOCATION AND HOLY HELL WAS THAT A GAME CHANGER BUT I DEFINITELY DID NOT THROW UP ON MY COUCH ABOUT IT SO PLEASE STOP INSINUATING THAT I DID

AS FOR HAM, I AM NOT SURE THERE IS A WRONG WAY TO DO IT PAL. RAW, BLOODY, STILL ACTUALLY JUST A PIG, ACTIVELY RUNNING AWAY FROM ME, FROM THE FLOOR OF THE BUS, WHATEVER STYLE ITS IN, I WILL ABSOLUTELY EAT IT

Hi, pal!! Do you have any pets? And if so, what are their names?

I HAVE A GARY ITS NAME IS GARY

WAIT HONESTLY I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT SAY THAT CAN YOU DELETE

DOES THAT DELETE

IS IT DELETED

I HAD A FISH BUT HE DIED

YEAH I THINK THATS WAY BETTER

What is some recommended reading you might have? Also where do you get your existentialist wolf-like philosophy from?

UNFORTUNATELY I FIND THAT BOOKS MAKE ME INCREDIBLY ANGRY FOR SOME REASON MAYBE ITS THE TINY WORDS OR THE PAGES IN CONSTANT NEED OF TURNING BUT EVERY TIME I GET CLOSE TO ONE OF THOSE LITTLE GUYS NEXT THING I KNOW ITS JUST ALL SHREDDED UP

AS FAR AS THE ORIGINS OF MY PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY I WOULD ATTRIBUTE MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE TO SUCH GREAT WORKS AS “SURVIVING THE WINTER” AND “LIVING WITHIN A CRUCIBLE OF LIFE AND DEATH ITSELF”

What are your favorite hair care products? Any tips on applying them for the most stylish results?

LISTEN SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY THAT MY HAIR IS MORE OF A SELF REGULATING COAT OF FUR THAT HELPS STABILIZE MY BODY TEMPERATURE BUT HONESTLY I LOVE USING IT FOR FASHION REASONS. JUST GET A HUMAN PALM FULL OF SOME SORT OF CREAM OR GOOP AND SMOOSH IT ALL AROUND AND EVENTUALLY BOOM YOU JUST SPENT 30 DOLLARS TO MAKE YOUR HEAD LOOK DIFFERENT AND WHATS MORE HUMAN THAN THAT

Hi, Are you a Wolf?

SEE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT YOU GUYS

I SIGNED UP FOR TWITTER, CLASSIC HUMAN BEHAVIOR

I MADE MY DISPLAY NAME NOT A WOLF SO THAT PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THAT I AM NOT A WOLF

I MADE MY USERNAME SICKOFWOLVES SO PEOPLE KNOW WHATS UP

AND I CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT HOW I DO NOT LIKE WOLVES

AND YET PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LIKE HEY DUDE ARE YOU SOME SORT OF SECRET WOLF BECAUSE THERES LITERALLY A RAW CHICKEN HANGING OUT OF YOUR BACKPACK

THE ANSWER IS NO NEXT QUESTION PLEASE

What's the hardest part about being a wol perfectly normal human?

LISTEN BASICALLY THE WHOLE HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS SUPER DIFFICULT AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I DONT UNDERSTAND BUT I THINK THE HARDEST PART IS PRETENDING THAT I “GET” TWIN PEAKS I AM SO SORRY I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING I AM MISSING HERE PLEASE JUST DO NOT HURT ME I HAVE COME SO FAR

How do you tweet with paws?

WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT WE WERE SCREENING THESE

Where did you grow up?

IN SUBURBAN CHICAGO THERE IS A MALL

IN THAT MALL IS AN ABANDONED SAM GOODY

BUT BEFORE IT WAS A SAM GOODY IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FOREST WHERE ONE COULD LEARN NOT JUST THE CONCEPT OF RIGHT AND WRONG BUT APPRECIATION FOR NATURE AND THE BALANCE IT PROVIDES

BUT OBVIOUSLY I NEVER WENT THERE, I JUST USED TO HANG OUT AT THAT SAM GOODY A LOT, BUMMED IT WENT OUT OF BUSINESS

What are your thoughts on furries?

KEEP DOING YOUR THING

how do you feel about cats?

AS FAR AS HOUSEPETS GO THEY ARE SMALL AND NOT AT ALL DESCENDED FROM MIGHTY FOREST CREATURES AND THEY SHOULD PROBABLY STAY INSIDE BECAUSE HONESTLY THEY HAVE A VERY SNACK LIKE VIBE ABOUT THEM

OBVIOUSLY I DONT THINK THAT

IF I WANT A SNACK I DO SOMETHING LOW IN CALORIES LIKE PIRATES BOOTY

BECAUSE A HUGE PART OF BEING HUMAN IS BEING ABLE TO EAT LIKE 60 OF SOMETHING AND NOT FEEL BAD

ANYWAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NEIGHBORS CAT IT WAS PROBABLY SOME SORT OF INCREDIBLE BIRDS FAULT

Do you consider yourself an Alpha?

OH HELL YEAH MAN. I LOVE BEING AN ALPHA MALE. IF YOU GO TO THE BAR, GUESS WHO IS THERE RUINING IT SURPRISE IT IS ME THE ALPHA MALE. I WILL ABSOLUTELY BE TALKING TOO LOUD. I WILL DEFINITELY WAG MY MONEY AT THE BARTENDER LIKE IT IS NOT JUST A FIVE DOLLAR BILL. AND YOU BET THAT I WILL BE STARTING A FIGHT OUTSIDE BECAUSE SOME GUY ACCIDENTALLY CAME WITHIN 10 FEET OF MY GIRLFRIEND. I AM TERRIBLE.

Is it just me, or does much of human folly leave you howling in the darkness for some sort of sense, and maybe a nice steak?

THE KEY TO HUMAN FOLLY IS UNDERSTANDING THAT JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE OF YOUR SKIN LURKS A SKELETON THAT IS ABSOLUTELY STOKED ABOUT ONE DAY BEING FREE

IF YOU GO TO THE BANK GUESS WHAT THE SKELETON IS AT THE BANK TOO

IF YOU TAKE A BATH YOU ARE TAKING A BATH WITH YOUR ONLY ETERNAL FRIEND: YOUR BONES

ONCE YOU ACCEPT THE WHOLE SKELETON THING, GOING TO THE BANK AND STUFF IS HONESTLY A LOT MORE FUN, ENJOY THE SKIN WHILE ITS THERE

If you were a wolf, what's the first thing that you would do?

IDK PROBABLY FIND THE HUNTER THAT KILLED MY BROTHER

Which bear is best?

WILLIAM ‘REFRIGERATOR’ PERRY

Hey are you a wolf?

FOR REAL ARE WE NOT SCREENING THESE

I FEEL LIKE I GET THIS ONE A LOT DESPITE SPEAKING OFTEN AND AT LENGTH ABOUT MY DISLIKE FOR WOLVES

Are you always not a wolf, or only when there isn't a full moon?

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER I HAVE BEEN A HUMAN MAN

STRESSING OUT ABOUT MY COWORKERS OPINIONS OF ME

BRINGING UP BREAKING BAD ON FIRST DATES

THE WHOLE DEAL

Can third parties use data from Atlas Obscura? Not the actual articles, but say, if I wanted a list of all the places you guys deemed interesting and put it on the web so you can search for places of interest on a map. What kind of permission/license would we need?

I DO NOT WORK FOR ATLAS OBSCURA THIS AMA IS ACTUALLY BEING HOSTED IN EXCHANGE FOR ME NO LONGER HANGING OUT NEAR THEIR DUMPSTER EVEN THOUGH I KEEP TELLING THEM I JUST GO THERE TO SMOKE TONS OF CIGARETTES AND I AM NOT AT ALL TRYING TO SEE IF THEY GOT ANYTHING GOOD CATERED FOR LUNCH TODAY, SOMEONE WILL REACH OUT TO YOU SOON

I was hoping to see some things about Atlas Obscura, I guess it's not that kind of AMA :(

FEAR NOT FRIEND

ATLAS OBSCURA DID ONE OF THESE WITH THEIR FOUNDERS

IT WAS VERY COOL

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/7lbdir/hi_were_joshua_foer_and_dylan_thuras_we_cofounded