What's up, rubbernecks?! I am the guy behind Frank Rizzo, Sol Rosenberg, Jack Tors, Rosine, Big Ol' Bad-Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler, and others from the various Jerky Boys albums. Seth MacFarlane is a huge Jerky Boys fan and so he hired me as Mort on Family Guy 18 years ago! So ask me about either of those things if you like.

I am not really promoting anything new or whatever. Though I do have a Facebook page and would appreciate a few "likes" as the kids say: https://www.facebook.com/jerkyboysjohnny

Or if you have two nickels to rub together I do have some "Frank's Pickle Barrel-Ass of Maspeth", "Rizzo's Auto Repair", and "Sol's Glasses of NY" "business" t-shirts for sale, as well as other trinkets and ligaments and filaments if you like. It would be great and would afford me a nice bottle of hooch to loosen up my thinker. Anyway they are available here: http://the-jerky-boys-store.myshopify.com/

I figured the most common question I would be asked would be "why haven't you made a new prank call in ages?" and I figured I would get that one out of the way: I was royally screwed by the record industry and literally had to sue to get tiny dribs and drabs of what I was actually owed. I basically stopped wanted to work for free, so there you go. Classic story of the record biz.

Anyway, here's the proof: https://www.facebook.com/jerkyboysjohnny/posts/1306279616137560

Anyway this is my AMA!

Aaand....begin!

edit: oh sh*t, someone just hit my car. I'll be back at 2 PM EST to answer more questions so keep them coming!

edit 2: OK I'm back! I'll be here for hours!

edit 3: almost 24 hours later and I am still doing this but this doesn't really seem to be taking off, so I will answer questions until it's of the front page of r/ama

Comments: 345 • Responses: 86  • Date: 

russifer144013 karma

Hey Johnny, what's up there sizzle chest? I've cried laughing countless times listening to the cds. Have you ever considered doing a Patreon subscription to give us fans new calls and content? I'd subscribe in a heartbeat! Thanks for the great work man!

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

That is not a bad idea but I don't know what the subscription cost should be and what would be expected I provide? Like how many new calls for how much? I'm not good at this internet shit!

gruebeard5 karma

This is late and I'm not some Patreon-pro, but there's a way to set stuff up so people are only charged when you push new content. That way it isn't a monthly thing. No one gets ripped off if you don't do anything, and you can see how much money people have promised so you'll know if it's worth it to get out of bed.

I'm pretty sure that's how the Primitive Technology guy does it. (Man, some of those videos definitely need some Jerky Boys narration.)

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Oh wow I never heard of that. What do you think it would be fair to charge? It's probably the only way I'll ever do new calls but I don't want to rip people off either.

broccoli-hair12 karma

Hi, is Jimb around?

JerkyBoysJohnny16 karma

Jimb is alive and well and to this day is still being tied to piers for high tide and being dragged by motor boats and stepping on piss clams.

broccoli-hair10 karma

I see you've been posting in /r/TheJerkyBoys for the past day or so. Do you ever lurk that sub to see how much your reddit fans still adore your work?

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

A fan of mine told me about it and I just learned of it this week! Thank you guys so much!

broccoli-hair6 karma

Dude, we love your work. It's brilliant, hilarious and absolutely timeless.

Thank you for everything you do.

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Thank you for continuing to listen all these years man

broccoli-hair10 karma

What's up there, fruitcake?

I've been a huge fan since discovering The Jerky Boys 1 at a local record store in the early 90s. I still listen to your stuff today. It drives the ol' lady fuckin' nuts, chief.

Also, do you sell tennis machines?

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

Yes. And bunjee cords

broccoli-hair9 karma

When is the last time you drove a rig?

JerkyBoysJohnny20 karma

As a matter a fact I'm driving one right now as I type this AMA. I'm popping wheelies and going through tolls, no stopping, no nothing.

Pork_Chap8 karma

What the fuck is a "milky licker"?

JerkyBoysJohnny10 karma

I made that up, I was laying in bed looking at the ceiling in the dark, and it just rolled off my tongue. Sizzle chest, buttnut, muffin ass, piss clams, they just come out of nowhere.

If you want the definition of Milky Licker, it's one of those things that can mean something sexual, or it could mean eating a delicious candy bar.

Pork_Chap3 karma

Thanks for the reply. It's bothered me for decades. Big fan! Thanks for the laughs!

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

thank you !

jgladding8 karma

Open your ears, jackass! You guys ever planning on doing some sort of Jerky Boys followup?

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

I absolutely would if I knew how to do it for a living because it's so much work. And I can't have a middle man screwing me, ya know? Someone mentioned a Patreon here but I have no idea what that is.

broccoli-hair8 karma

Should I bring my fuckin' tools?

JerkyBoysJohnny12 karma

I'll wrap your head in with a ratchet

_bobby_tables_7 karma

Big fan. Ever consider new recordings posted to YouTube? You'd get crazy views.

JerkyBoysJohnny9 karma

Youtube?? I gotta get paid, ya fuck! Just kidding. I am honestly not sure how to monetize if I ever did record new pranks, unfortunately.

donutsinreverse7 karma

I argue that you are the greatest improv comedian of all time. So much range. You never know what you would say next. Almost every word you say on those tapes is wildly creative, timeless and hilarious to me.

Since you're not making the crank calls like you used to, how do you get that creative energy out? Do you have any comedic creative outlets?

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

Thanks so much for the kind words, I really appreciate that! That is a really good question that I never thought about. I don't know if creative people feel like they HAVE to get something out? I play guitar and drums, I do music and other outlets. But as far as comedy, now if anything I get to let creative energy out through story telling at meet and greets and doing AMAs like this. I am starting to put together a show that I will be going out with where it is an actual night of Q and A and comedy and banter back and forth.

In my personal life I make myself laugh a lot. Like I will be sitting in church and I will daydream that the priest is dressed like one of those bears on a tricycle and just laugh to myself.

donutsinreverse3 karma

What do you do back flips? Jump up there w a silly suit?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Yes

mc_lars7 karma

How did it feel to be quoted in Steve Albini's letter to Nirvana when he pitched the production job of "In Utero"? http://www.avclub.com/article/read-this-steve-albini-quoted-the-jerky-boys-named-103428

JerkyBoysJohnny14 karma

There are videos of Nirvana members as kids quoting Jerky Boys lines which was so fucking awesome, man. But I never knew about the Steve Albini thing! Thanks so much for bringing it to my attention! I got a call back in 1991 or 1992 from Radiohead asking if they could use the Pablo Honey call for the name of their debut album in the US. And then Jerky Boys was number 1 on Billboard, and Radiohead was number 2 with Pablo Honey and it was the most incredible and surreal feeling!

I also just found out Dave Grohl just release an unreleased song from 25 years ago called Jerky Boys! How awesome is that??

Benzpiece6 karma

I lived in Maspeth. Which park was better for slappin little Mexicans with mops? Maurice or Frontera?

JerkyBoysJohnny12 karma

Maurice! We used to do 'em 10 at a time for a dime!

meatboat2tunatown6 karma

Damn dude, you guys got me and my buds through some tough times in college. Long nights/mornings in the architecture studio. 20 years later we STILL drop Jerky Boys bombs in conversations all the time. How's it feel to know you've had such an impact on peoples' lives?

JerkyBoysJohnny7 karma

It's an amazing feeling to know that I was able to touch so many people around the globe. Literally any country where people speak English have told me that and it means so much. It is such a great feeling to make people smile.

meatboat2tunatown3 karma

I'm going to call up one of my boys and hit him with the Egyptian Magician right now.

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Yeah you do that

rangifer20146 karma

Is there a line that you're particularly proud of?

JerkyBoysJohnny11 karma

Every single one of them, man. There's a few that stick out but I love every one of them. Because of the characters being based on real human beings that I have exaggerated and turned into these characters. "You think these fucking cocks'll hold us??"

broccoli-hair5 karma

Do you prefer the nudist colonies in New York or Florida?

JerkyBoysJohnny10 karma

Yes

eastriverdriveII5 karma

Hey tough guy, I loved you and Kamal since I was a kid. You two put NY on the map again sweet cheeks. Would you ever work with Judd Apatow?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

Amy Schumer tweeted me a while back that she is a huge fan of mine and I know she works with him, so maybe she could link us up? Of course I would love to work with him! I don't know how that would happen though!

NYGuy56115 karma

Heya Johnny, ya fuckin wacky ass! I was curious to know, what was your all time favorite Jerky Boy's call that you were ever a part of?

JerkyBoysJohnny7 karma

Thanks for the question. They are like children. I have tons of favorites. Some do stand out that are dear to me. Like 1-800-How's my Driving, and the reason I love it so much is because it is the first time you really see Frank Rizzo, the tough badass, as being vulnerable. Even when I hear it back to this day, I feel bad for Frank.

Sol's Chainsaw Shock 1 & 2 is another one of my personal favorites. Also Florida, the Tropical State is another one. And I can go on and on, there's just too many to mention. Like I said, they are like children.

Only4DNDandCigars5 karma

Did being mentioned on Arrested Dev have any impact on your ratings/fan base?

JerkyBoysJohnny7 karma

It didn't increase Facebook likes or anything but it was cool having fans tell me about it. But it is so cool that whoever works on Arrested Development that is a fan to pay homage to my work. There was a HUGE scene in "How I Met Your Mother" about Marshall accidentally putting The Jerky Boys on instead of Mozart for their baby and how worried they were that their kid will be calling people "sizzle chest". They used that scene at the Emmys one year! There was a scene recently in The Mindy Project too where Ike Barinholtz says he saw me in concert 4 times. It's so great knowing people who grew up listening to me got into comedy writing and TV and are giving me little shout outs. Fans tell me about it when they see it but it does not really increase my fanbase I don't think (like, my Facebook "likes" don't go up after something like that airs if that is what you mean).

Only4DNDandCigars2 karma

That is awesome! And fwiw hearing about it on a TV show I like got me to look you up and enjoy your work, so there is at least one.

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

That is so awesome man. Mind if I ask your age? I love hearing about new fans not from the 90s!

Only4DNDandCigars4 karma

29 this year.

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

Awesome

Shwagoblin5 karma

what was kamals deal ? is he ever coming back ?

would love to have the boys back together :-)

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

Kumal quit 20+ years ago to direct, writing pictures, and I just wanted to keep moving forward with The Jerky Boys, creating new characters, trying to do voice-over work, etc. He went his way in the industry, and the Jerky Boys and the characters are my babies and I could not leave them, ya know??

Shwagoblin3 karma

well i hope we get more gold from you, your sense of humor is pure gold sir and i have been a fan since your 1st album oh so many years ago. now excuse me as i must go buy one of those t shirts.

p.s. the flower lady skit kills me every time i hear it <3

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

Thanks man!

rangifer20145 karma

Tell us about your non-prank call life - you married? kids? what part of the country do you live in and what do you like to do with your spare time? If there's a bad fuckin' awful stink comin' off my legs is it something in the fuckin' marrow for all you know?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

I am in New York, home of the Cornwall Dragons. Me and Big Hock get together on a regular basis put our heads through walls in our spare time.

Pork_Chap5 karma

Did you ever call Red from the Tube Bar? Did he cut yer belly open?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

That is way before The Jerky Boys time!

D0kk3n4 karma

Did you ever have a call where the person ended up knowing it was you guys?

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

Yes. When I started to do Jerky Boys 3 that started to happen. But typically they thought it was friends pretending to be the Jerky Boys and not actually me. But it never happened at all before Jerky Boys 3. I do remember one time this girl going "OH my god! It's Sol Rosenberg!!" haha

BigCrustyTaco4 karma

Always loved Jerky Boys in High School, the movie was AWESOME! My question is this; do you ever find yourself becoming your characters in your free time (not on purpose)?

JerkyBoysJohnny9 karma

Yes. It happens a lot. If I am driving in the car, my characters will have a conversation in my head. Sometimes it is even new characters created from people I've met who I think have hilarious voices.

Johnnie_34 karma

Hey Johnny! I always wondered what ever happened to Jimb. How did the conversation with his mother go after she found out he liked to rub small little sand baskets on your ass?

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

Jimb Jimb is alive and well and to this day is still being tied to piers for high tide and being dragged by motor boats and stepping on piss clams.

The_JRaff4 karma

Have you been on any more fishing trips with Howard Stern?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

I stopped going on fishing trips with Howard because I got sick and tired of being beaten unmerciful with a fishing rod. I don't know the last time you were beaten with a fishing rod, but it really hurts like hell.

donutsinreverse5 karma

Did you guys end up in a beef w Howard? What happened there?

I feel like you got the good old Howard cold shoulder at some point. He can be a prick like that. I'm a huge fan of crank calls and Howard plays some of the best constantly. Jerky Boys disappeared from the mix at some point. I would love to know more.

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

I love Howard. I would do his show again in a heartbeat if he ever asked me.

ReliableSource4 karma

The Jerky Boys was a huge influence on my sense of humor growing up; I was just in NYC, and every time I saw a train headed to Canarsie I thought of Big Hock. My mom and I both love those albums, so thanks for making something that we could really bond over.

I guess my question is: how much do you pre-load mentally before taking/making a call? Do you have a lot of specific things in mind that you're going to bring up (boot with a foot in it, etc.), or is it completely improvised?

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

Thank you so much brother! It is more improvised than you would even think. For a majority of the calls, I would not know who we were calling. For example, someone else would dial the phone for me, and 2 seconds before they answer, they'd say "OK this is a balloon store". And that would be it. Remember the call where I called Juggy Gales, the head of A&R records? Before the call they wanted to brief me on who he is and all that shit. They started to tell me that he worked with Frank Sinatra and invented a dance called The Hucklebuck and I stopped him right there and I said "don't tell me any more". I feel it's funnier the less I know and the more I have to improvise. Thanks for the question!

broccoli-hair4 karma

Did Lipinski ever give you the Hucklebuck?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

He gave it to me down by the bar stool

broccoli-hair2 karma

Remember when he hit you over the head with that old fuckin' record? You were in space for a week, ya prick!

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

He was signing about a Spanish dish or some shit, I think it was a payaya

ishan974 karma

Have you ever met Mila Kunis? What's she like? Huge fan btw!

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Yes I did, in NYC. When I came out of the booth we were introduced. She said "oh my God how adorable!". She thought the fact that I look the way I do yet I am the voice of Mort Goldman was adorable.

rangifer20144 karma

What did you guys use to make all the background noise in "New Awnings"? Shut it down, Mike!

JerkyBoysJohnny9 karma

I found a CD that had sound effects on it and I found this one with trucks and buses sound effects on it. My manager had the CD laying around at his house. Jerky Boys 3 is my personal favorite. The reason why is I had to top 1 and 2. I had to put so much work into 3 that I came up with all these different ideas such as calls coming in (instead of out), five brand new characters, and I also wanted to create more elaborate calls such as ones with sound effects like Sol's Chainsaw Shock and the awnings one as a couple of examples.

rangifer20146 karma

Jerky Boys 3 was fucking amazing. "My ass looks like ricotta cheese in a plastic bag if you know what I'm sayin", and the entire 1-800-Hows-My-Driving call were some of my favorites. "The fuckin' dog'll be nippin' at me in a little while with these fuckin' legs the way they are"... I don't know how you came up with some of that stuff on the spot, but it's honestly some of the funniest stuff ever put to tape.

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Thanks man

twitchrdrm4 karma

Hey Tough guy! Open your fucking ears understand this, I grew up with your cassettes and cds thank you for providing me and my friends and family with countless laughs and memories! I wish you'd get back in the game I'd pay to hear new calls and sure others agree!

Did you ever send a salami to your boy in the army?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Yes, one box. I'm a very sorry person, thank you.

JamesJoyceDewitt3 karma

Where the police ever called or actually showed up after one of your prank calls?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

There was never really any major issue with the police. Just a couple lawsuits and a few breaks and things.

Ikekahzadi3 karma

When is the last time you had any contact with Kamal?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

Kumal quit 20+ years ago to direct, writing pictures, and I just wanted to keep moving forward with The Jerky Boys, creating new characters, trying to do voice-over work, etc. He went his way in the industry, and the Jerky Boys and the characters are my babies and I could not leave them, ya know??

broccoli-hair3 karma

How did you end up getting the dog out of the piano?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

He still lives there happily to this day

roblun3 karma

Johnny! I've heard all the calls dozens of times and I loved your podcast. I loved all the backstory and I almost died hearing the story about Bret Weir and that damn elevator. Any chance of you starting it back up? Thanks for all you do!

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

Thanks man. There has been a lot of interest in a new podcast and I am thinking of doing it again but for myself without a middleman! Thank you for the question.

broccoli-hair3 karma

Please do this!

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

OK sweet Charlie

broccoli-hair3 karma

Thanks, bottlenose

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Thank you!

BabyDinosaurHead3 karma

What's your opinion on Todd Pettengill from The Scott & Todd Show mercilessly ripping you off for years while being paid millions on his NYC radio show?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

I'm not sure who that is, must be a regional thing. Give me a little more information on who that is!

broccoli-hair3 karma

I love that Sol Rosenberg is based on your mother.

How is she and the rest of the family doing?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

She is doing well, thank God. Thank you for asking. Frank Rizzo was based on my father. My father passed away in 2000. But he lives on in a big way. All my characters are based on family members or people I knew growing up, exaggerated and turned into characters.

NYGuy56113 karma

Were there ever any calls that you couldn't use on a Jerky Boys CD because the people you pranked refused to give permission to use the recordings? Or does it not work that way?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

The Mr. Pickle call I could not release as they would not give me permission. The Disney call was promotion for the movie and Disney changed their minds and refused permission. There's about 5 total I could not use in all those years but you can find them online.

DavidJ____3 karma

Johnny, I listen to JB every day, always been a great pick me up. Q: Do you plan to make new material? I understand caller ID may make it difficult but I'd love to hear some new stuff! Thanks

JerkyBoysJohnny7 karma

I absolutely would if I knew how to do it for a living because it's so much work. And I can't have a middle man screwing me, ya know? Someone mentioned a Patreon here but I have no idea what that is.

Benzpiece3 karma

its a crowdfunding tool. There's an Australian metal band funded their US tour last year with 80K from their fans giving a couple of bucks each (in exchange for a download of an album or something). I'd definitely throw money at this if you needed it. the tapes that i bought in 1993 got so much play they wore out.

http://www.theprp.com/2016/03/03/news/ne-obliviscaris-launch-patreon-crowdfunding-campaign-to-keep-touring/

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

Thanks man but how much would I charge and for how many new calls per month for people? In your opinion?

broccoli-hair3 karma

Who was Jack Tors based on?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

In the mid 1960s my dad and his brothers ran a bar in NYC and this guy that sounded just like Jack Tors was a regular at their bar. He was desperately trying to get his life together and clean up, and my dad let him live with us to get clean. I always thought the way he spoke was so awesome, and I knew as a 5 year old boy that he sounded more like my mom than my dad. I was doing his voice since then.

broccoli-hair3 karma

Can we talk Seth MacFarlane into letting you do Frank Rizzo on Family Guy?

Or better yet, a full-blown Jerky Boys animated series!

JerkyBoysJohnny8 karma

Frank Rizzo was altered a bit and became Horace the Bartender at the Drunken Clam, but he's dead now!

Jerky Boys the Animated Series would be great!

broccoli-hair5 karma

Jerky Boys the Animated Series would be great!

Whose head do we have to take a pipe to to make this happen? MacFarlane?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

No clue!

themiddler3 karma

Hello Fruitcake,

  1. How can you soil the name of Eddie and his Pickles (and his Mom) the way you did?
  2. Can you still bench 350 pieces?

I am telling everyone to get your t-shirts today... crap I would buy Jerky Boys Hot Mops if they were for sale.

Please go on tour to tell your story Johnny... just stay away from the fava beans with that wacky bread

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

  1. I am not sure what this is referencing. Please elaborate!

  2. Pieces? POUNDS BABY, POUNDS!!

TheLiquidFox3 karma

Got to meet you at Comicon in Providence, RI summer '16. You're literally the reason I spent the money. You're a fucking awesomely genuine human being! Was so mad at my gf for even insinuating that I would try to impersonate you, like you don't put me on the spot in front of the legend! Moved near Pensacola, FL, hoping you make appearances down here. My question is: Does your Family Guy fame ever discourage you? I, personally, am offended when someone doesn't know who the Jerky Boys are. They're in for an hour or so of cassette tapes, at least!

JerkyBoysJohnny6 karma

Thank you for the kind words. I love meeting fans! And absolutely not, the Family Guy thing is wonderful. Seth MacFarlane was listening to my stuff as a kid and he is a huge fan that wanted me to be a part of the show from the very beginning. So The Jerky Boys reach out to millions of people in many ways; Family guy is just one of them. And Mort Goldman and the other characters I do on the show are slight variations of Jerky Boys characters with different names, such as Scott in the Family Guy episode, Horace the Bartender and owner of The Drunken Clam, or even Mort Goldman who is Sol Rosenberg's long lost cousin. So Family Guy and Jerky Boys will be forever intertwined in some way.

MichaelWrecka3 karma

What's up there fruitcake? Huge fan here since the first cd. and like many Frank Rizzo was always my favorite character. I think we like him because in some ways he is the person we wish we could be. An ultra confident bad ass that thinks he is the best at everything. I actually went into telesales for a while and used a lot of what I learned listening to those tapes to help me make some money.

My question is, I've heard some more recent prank calls and you seem to have some difficulty nailing the character Frank Rizzo down like you used to. He seems to have lost something. Do you just find him tough to do now that you are older and a family man? lol

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

This was the last call I did as Frank: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJR25zs7RH8

I think it sounds the same. If you are referring to the Family Guy stuff, I intentionally made them sound slightly different than Sol and Frank.

broccoli-hair3 karma

Where do we go with this fuckin' balloon?

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

UP!

Single_Action_Army3 karma

Did you know Todd Pettingale of The Todd Show has been ripping off your Jerky Boys phone bits for years?

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

I'm not sure who that is, must be a regional thing. Give me a little more information on who that is!

PRiMO5853 karma

Big fan since my kid days, hilarious shit! Just curious do you still talk to Kamal... Still cool with him at all??

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Thank you! Kamal is off doing his movie stuff! I wish him all the best. Listen to Kamal on the Flower Lady trilogy (4 tracks). It is amazing.

Koolaider3 karma

Waddya say there, tough guy? Any plans on bringing back the old podcast?

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

Thanks man. There has been a lot of interest in a new podcast and I am thinking of doing it again but for myself without a middleman! Thank you for the question.

wackyg743 karma

I've got all these birds outside my window today, little swallips and swallows but none of them go "ge-ar garr" or "whooten"! How can I get rid of these nasty birds?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

You buy yourself a horsie and they will bite and nip him in the face instead

rangifer20143 karma

Dude, first of all I have to thank you for making me laugh harder than anything else as I was growing up. I remember being under my covers at night laughing like a 'war time hero fool' while a friend played your tapes over the phone.

What kind of success rate do you think you had? Like how rare was it to get a genius call like Safety Gates to work out? ..."I'll take a whack at the fuck myself..."

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Almost every single thing I recorded was used. I think in the entire span of all the albums there were only 5 calls I couldn't use due to not being granted permission. The success rate was phenomenal, amazingly. Thank you for the love!

W0keupolder4 karma

Safety

DUDE. I never had heard this before. I'm dying. Cheers.

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

I love reading stuff like this!

broccoli-hair3 karma

Have you toned down your car selling technique?

Maybe just choke a few people here and there?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

My toned-down selling technique is smashing the prospective buyer's face into the hood and tell them "you buy this fucking car or I'll break your fucking head!"

JDIAMOND22 karma

HOW MANY PITS ARE IN A PEAR?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

You know damn well there's more than 2 pits in a pear.

JDIAMOND22 karma

Was watching Action Bronson on Joe Rogan's podcast and they shouted the Jerky Boys out! The best!

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

That's awesome! Thanks for letting me know! How did he shout me out?

Rebelson822 karma

If i was to see you in person, can I kick you in your gift bag?

JerkyBoysJohnny7 karma

It's funny, I came up with "a kick to the gift bag" when my daughter was 5 and watching the Karate Kid scene where Johnny beats Daniel up and kicks him right in the dick. And my daughter asked me what happened and I had to word it for a kid so I said "he gave him the old shoe to the gift bag". Then years later when I was recording Family Guy with Seth MacFarlane and he asked me to improv a scene and it just came back to my head randomly. Everybody in the studio was laughing and Seth said "Johnny, I am not even going to ask". And gift bag is now part of the Jerky Boys lingo ever since.

eastriverdriveII2 karma

are you in NY?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Yes. Home of the Cornwall Dragons.

detekk2 karma

What's the most trouble you ever got into for doing prank calls?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

The only pranks I did before The Jerky Boys were real-world pranks. But for Jerky Boys stuff, just a couple lawsuits and a few breaks and things.

Elkminister2 karma

Did you ever do warp 2?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

When it gets a little cool down there in the tunnel we'll throw on some slack

NYGuy56112 karma

Last question from me:

When you eventually called back the people you pranked and let them know it was just a joke and for a CD, were most of them good sports about it and laughed it off? Or did some get mad and wanna slug ya in the cock?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

95% of the time people were good sports. Some were pissed off, yes, but quickly loosened up. Then there were just a couple that were furious, but most of the time it always worked out. As a matter of fact, I used to joke around that my manager Harry had a 99% success rate at getting clearances. On Sol's Chainsaw Shock, that when we called the woman back, she said all she wants is a chainsaw. And I offered to buy her a HUSQVARNA which was the Rolls Royce of chainsaw and she refused saying all she wanted was the little cheap chainsaw she saw in my ad! So I got it for her and gave a donation to her favorite charity. It was usually a legal team that dealt with clearances, though. However, I did also talk to Willie from the Testing for Jeopardy phone call because he seemed like such a nice guy.

NYGuy56113 karma

Honestly, if I had to guess one person who got pissed after it was revealed they were being pranked, it would have been the Flower Lady from the Jerky Tapes. By the last call, she just sounds like she's at the absolute end of her rope and ready to explode in fury.

Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions Johnny, you are one person who's mouth I would never fucking punch loose!

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

The Flower Lady was pissed off to the tune of five thousand dollars (that's what I had to pay her for permission). So yes, she was pissed off!

holmesrm232 karma

You got paint work for me or what?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

Yeah! Lets get together, paint each other up. Paint each other's toe nails. Paint the fuckin' town

wackyg742 karma

Johnny thanks so much for the years of laughter! What amazes me is how quick you are at your comebacks in the calls. How are you so damn funny on the spot? I eat the fuckin' shit!

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

To be honest with you, it just kind of rolls. It just flows because I transform myself into the character. I become them.

Disneymand2 karma

I recently seen a picture of you and Jess Harnel. How long have you known him for and how did you 2 meet?

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

Just met him at BoroughCon at St. John's University for the first time a few weeks ago. Great guy, talented guy, and we had a lot of fun and hit it off with one another!

Disneymand2 karma

I've heard him in a few interviews. He has a solid circle of friends. Kevin Michael Richardson being one of them. Also not a very common piece of knowledge about Jess, he voices the Br'er Rabbit and most of the voices in the Splash Mountant amusement ride for The Walt Disney company. The guys got a solid footprint in the VO industry. Thanks for responding, continued success to you sweet tits.

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

You are very welcome and thanks for the question!

vinsite2 karma

Holy shit. Alright. My friends and I have been quoting jerky boys since the early 90's. We had a bootleg tape. Quick, how many pits in a pear?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

You know damn well there's more than 2 pits in a pear.

cigar_dude2 karma

Who's your baseball team?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

I'm a Yankees/Giants/Rangers/Cornwall Dragons guy.

vinsite2 karma

Why did you not do more skits with Rosine? She/he was a silly bastard, in more way than one.

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

A lot of people ask me that! If I ever start doing calls again, or if I get voice acting work, I will bring her back, I promise.

Cabojonny2 karma

Johnny! Good to have ya here, flapjack! Always enjoy chatting with you at conventions...are you still offering personalized CDs for my fuckin' friends to laugh at while I shoe 'em in the ballbag?

JerkyBoysJohnny3 karma

haha yeah I do, you can get them on https://the-jerky-boys-store.myshopify.com

But people typically buy them for weddings

sarzec2 karma

What do you do if you have leaks up on the roof? I have my wife up there poking around, acting like she knows what the fuck she's doing.

JerkyBoysJohnny2 karma

You know exactly what you have to do at this point. You throw her fucking ass down off the roof, onto the car!!

rangifer20142 karma

How the hell did Ozzy end up doing a cameo in the movie?

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

Ozzy is a huge Jerky Boys fan before the movie came out and wanted to be a part of it. "The fucking monkeys??"

rangifer20142 karma

Awesome. Who are some other high-level barrel-asses?

JerkyBoysJohnny4 karma

Fans of mine who are musicians? Dave Grohl, Radiohead, Mariah Carey, I had Cheryl Crow tell me I was her tour bus music!

broccoli-hair2 karma

What's the craziest thing you ever put in a log splitter?

Go ahead, shoot.

JerkyBoysJohnny5 karma

My wife's legs. Crushed 'em up a bit.