Hey, Nails here. First, just a few things I got going:

  • June 2016 I wrote my New York Times best selling memoir: House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge. Hardcover is already available, paperback will be released June 2017. Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/House-Nails-Memoir-Life-Edge/dp/0062407368

  • I got a reality TV show in the works "House of Nails", stay tuned for more info on that and take a look at the sneak peak here: https://twitter.com/LennyDykstra/status/838954151165870081

  • I'm featured on and regularly visit the Stern Show to discuss my conquests and exploits. Be sure to tune in, and if you haven't already, you can listen in on some of my features and visits below:





I will answer as much as I can over the next couple of hours (until ~2 PM EST), and I might follow up on some other questions past that time too. Be patient, I'm new to this shit...

I'm going to answer any REAL questions you can throw at me. I'm NOT going to answer stupid spammy troll shit (you guys know who you are)

Photo proof: http://imgur.com/lDmK9LS

Twitter posts regarding AMA:






1:59 PM EST, gotta wrap things up:

Guys, we're signing off now. Won't be answering any more questions. Sad that some assholes pushed down all the real questions. I don't care for me, but I care about the fans and that's not fair for them. Anyway, if you want me to come back on, just give me 10 minutes notice.

Thanks Reddit for hosting me, thanks to the fans.

Comments: 658 • Responses: 37  • Date: 

ReadIntoThisName693 karma

Lenny would you recommend buying stock in you sucking our dicks? Seems to be on the rise

LennyNailsDykstra164 karma

Only thing that's on the rise is your stupidity

TheDailyCruise688 karma

Hey Lenny,

I was wondering if through all the ups and downs... all the fun times, the bad times, and the sad times. Through thick and thin, high and low, and everything in between... through winning the world series or your three time MVP awards... or correctly predicting an INSANE amount of stock picks...through all the fraud accusations, arrests, rehab stints, and now the come back.

I was wondering, after all that... Would you suck our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra196 karma

You know what... The info is actually impressive... I'm sexually aroused.

LennyNailsDykstra25 karma

Take that however you like, it's not a maybe, unconditional no

kengriffeyrules24592 karma

Hey Lenny, its the guys from Pardon My Take, how about you suck our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra109 karma

cool story bro

putinspenis143 karma

Hey Lenny there's a lot of guys asking you to suck their dick in here... kinda begs the question, how many dicks have you sucked in your lifetime?

LennyNailsDykstra75 karma

Do the math and figure it out.

KeBron11504 karma

Hey Lenny you ever put your dick in a hot dog bun?

LennyNailsDykstra129 karma

Absolutely not, not for me.

Hwinter07375 karma

Hey Lenny its the guys from /r/pardonmytake, why don't you suck our dicks! Wanna do some locker room talk?

LennyNailsDykstra250 karma

Regarding pardonmytake.... let's get it out there, you continue to say "suck our dicks"... That's not an option now, or it never will be, because I like pussy.

But what we can talk about is how many times I've heard the following words from so many women "I can't believe I'm doing this", my favorite words.

So if you want your dick sucked, might as well go to someone who's interest. You want to talk baseball, pussy, money, life, prison, private jets, ... shall I continue?

Then bring it.

StanleyLelnats341 karma

Lenny you are too humble. Marlins Man would be proud!

LennyNailsDykstra139 karma

Appreciate the kind words

midaswhalejump348 karma

Hey Lenny I was wondering about your career on the mets and I'm fascinated to know how often your manager would come back into the locker room and tell you that the guys from Pardon My Take said to Suck our Dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra58 karma

He was too hammered to even talk.

chocolate_babies280 karma

So many immature comments in this threat. Unbelievable you guys could act this ride to a baseball legend. Can we please treat this guy with some respect? Knowing everything this guys been through in his life, he doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

On to my question. Under the current MLB rules, they're outlawing chewing tobacco in all MLB stadiums. Remembering the glory days when you were around, I loved how you always had a big mouthful of chew. Do you think this is just another example of the pussification of America? I just can't imagine a guy like you not fighting back against this rule. Could this just be the beginning, and eventually we'll see more rules like "no cussin' until after the 6th inning, or not allowing players to adjust their balls after a hard slide into first base?"

Keep doing your thing, my man. See you at the next book signing!

LennyNailsDykstra25 karma

Great points you make. It seems that the new sponsor of MLB is "milk and cookies." They must do a better job marketing their players

coogidown2thesocks244 karma

Hey Lenny it's the guys from /r/PardonMyTake, when are you gonna stop fucking around and suck our dicks already?

LennyNailsDykstra44 karma

When are YOU gonna stop fuckin g around

StanleyLelnats205 karma

Hey Lenny any good Locker Room Talk from your time with the '86 Mets?

LennyNailsDykstra233 karma

The 1993 Phillies made the 86 mets look like school children. That was where the real partying went down.

Mean_Gene3186 karma

Hey lenny, I was wondering if you could offer some more stock tips?

Also how about you just suck our dicks already

LennyNailsDykstra42 karma

Go to nailsinvestments.com, if you would follow all my picks, you would be a millionaire today, and no I won't suck your dicks.

BucketHatEnthusiast137 karma


LennyNailsDykstra41 karma

Regarding what matters about your question....

I actually give you credit for pointing the 13th draft pick in the season, being that 13 is an unlucky number, but there was no luck involved here. One thing that I can do was play baseball, unlucky, lucky didn't matter.

Edit: Hey by the way, it's Lenny, not Leonard, it's on my birth certificate.

the_tristanity37 karma

The steroids didn't matter either, right?

LennyNailsDykstra128 karma

They mattered a whole lot, especially for a guy that was 5'9 @ 160 pounds. And so, I had 2 options, do nothing, and get a 'real' job, or take them and make 30 million.

What would you do?

slobones14134 karma

Hey Lenny huge fan! I think you were robbed of the MVP in '93. I have 2 questions for you:

  1. Do you wash your apples?

  2. Who's the most famous person in your cell phone?

LennyNailsDykstra67 karma

To your first point, was I robbed of the MVP? Absolutely. Bonds hit 40 something home runs but they didn't make the playoffs.

  1. Don't get it....

  2. Jack Nicholson

1NDYStoolie71115 karma

Hey Lenny, do you regret making this AMA? Does it mean you'll suck our dicks now?

LennyNailsDykstra50 karma

Regret it? I love it! Bring it!

slobones14104 karma

Hey Lenny! Here's a good question, how much money would you be willing pay to suck our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra41 karma

As much as you want, and you know? I'm selling dreams.

spooneybarger6996 karma

Also, who would win in a bar fight, you or Dale Murphy?

Would you suck his dick after you lost?

LennyNailsDykstra35 karma

I would never fight Dale Murphy. He is one of the nicest men I have ever met.

mcbordes94 karma

Lenny, who had the biggest dick you ever sucked? When and where did you suck it?

LennyNailsDykstra70 karma

Randy Johnson, '95 All-Star game against him. I felt like I was hitting off a Loch Ness monster.

1NDYStoolie7187 karma

Hey Lenny! It's great to see you on here. What was the biggest point you were tying to make in writing your book? And will you suck our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra21 karma

I've was asked to write a book numerous times, I wasn't ready to put it out there, but after what I went through, I really just wanted to put the truth out there to let the American people know what really happened.

Bottom line, it's a book about a baseball player, but not a book about baseball per say se (thanks u/nano2nd), it's a book about life.

sullguy76 karma

Hey Lenny, what was your secret to picking 500 stocks in a row, also, how about you suck our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra21 karma

500 stocks in a row, it wasn't 500 stocks in a row...

Go to nailsinvestments.com and see that my record now stands at 616 wins, and 1 loss.

sizeablescars17 karma

You ever feel like you charge too little for sucking all our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra8 karma

Wouldn't know ... I would have already taken my profits.

BOOM_doom69 karma

How is the slot?

LennyNailsDykstra35 karma

Who's slot? Show me and I'll tell you!

sizeablescars62 karma

Can you describe what it felt like sucking our dicks?

LennyNailsDykstra35 karma

Indescribable. It was better than any drug, any woman, any amount of money, and you know why that is man? Because it's not for sale, you have to earn it.

michaelvickvinegar48 karma

Hey, Lenny you been licking some pussy?

LennyNailsDykstra73 karma

The answer to this question is not as simple as it seems. First there's a slot and it has to be as close to 180 degrees as possible. Then you have the odor process. Once she's been cleared, I take them to a place they have never been and they continue to want to go back. Because that's who I am. I get women off.

mcbordes26 karma


I know Big Cat is a big fan, would ever consider letting him fuck you in the ass?

I've heard everyone that has paid you to suck their dick highly recommends you, even the people who said they used to hate you. Why do you think that is?

LennyNailsDykstra15 karma

Of course, it's so cool catching a fan.

Second part, because I gave them their money's worth, by playing the game hard and right. and that transcends the hate.

bucsboy24619 karma

If you were given 30 minutes with Robin Quivers, how many times would you make her orgasm?

LennyNailsDykstra20 karma

You see, I'm an artist, similar to Picasso. There's only one painting at a time, only one great piece of artwork at a time, meaning, if you're gonna do it right, 30 minutes just ain't enough.

feetoverhands17 karma

So Lenny I have a question for ya - you started playing for the mets but then you end
Up on the phillies, which is my favorite team since I grew up in Philly.
Can you describe the differences, and also what it was like to play with

Moving from CA where you grew up all the way to the east coast had to be a change,
Yet you handled it pretty well. Can you explain how you did that??

Do you remember the first major league home-run you hit, and how did you feel -
I bet it was pretty cool Lenny. I always believed I could do something like that but I
Can't imagine hitting a dinger out of the park in the MLB, who was the best hitter you played with -

LennyNailsDykstra4 karma

Can you describe the differences, and also what it was like to play with Kruk?

Same mentality, understood the game, really no differences, I got to play with both in the world series, and both fans appreciated a good player playing the game, which is unlike fans in other cities.

who was the best hitter you played with -Kruk?

And Kruk was the luckiest player I played, but a great hitter, actually a great athlete. I loved playing with Kruk.

mcbordes16 karma

Hey Lenny, how many dicks will you be sucking on your TV show?

LennyNailsDykstra11 karma

That all depends on the network

CFtheGing5 karma

hey lenny, whats your favorite conversation in the locker room?

LennyNailsDykstra3 karma

Is Richards in the house?

Mutt12234 karma

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

LennyNailsDykstra9 karma

Straight vanilla. I'm a simple missionary man.

Sir_Randolph_Gooch3 karma

Do you still own the carwashes?

LennyNailsDykstra3 karma

No, this big organization, called the Federal Gov't, took em from me. Can't fight the Feds!

Gumruk2 karma

Hey Lenny, how did you get the nickname Nails?

LennyNailsDykstra3 karma

The late Bill Robinson gave it to me. He was a great man.

UncleGriswold2 karma

Lenny, did you and the other Phillies rocking mullets back in the day take offense when Juan Guzman of the Blue Jays referred to you guys as truckers?

LennyNailsDykstra2 karma

Nah man, we didn't take offense to nothing. We had one rule: we are going into their house, to take their money, and fuck their money.