IamA (Parks & Rec writer, twitter comedian, author & Jew MEGAN AMRAM) AMA!

Do you think doing an AMA half an hour before Bette Midler risks splitting the gay vote?

this is a perfect comment.

Can we hear the origin of your beautiful Twitter photo?

SURE!! when i was twenty one i went home with my friend natalie to her house in richmond, VA. we were very bored and decided to do glamor shots. that's why my makeup is up to my eyes. i can't make pretty faces in photos so it ended up being the PURE GOLD IT IS NOW -- jabba the hutt at his quinciniera!

what smells better, adam scott's hair or nick offerman's moustache?

nick offerman's mustache - it's like a cast-iron skillet. he's never washed it, so it's finely aged with every food he's ever eaten. there's a whole turkey leg in it!

What is your favourite one liner you have come up with?

My blod is typo

Why should women even science?

sorry for the typosjfg im drivinafg as i trype this - we ned to leanr how to drivee better!

have you slept with anyone on the set at P+R? Literally ON the set.

no -- how soon can you get here??

How do you feel about Rob Delaney's penis?

which one?

What's your main source of protein?

DICK!!!!!!

Hi Megan, this is more of a "serious" question so I apologize if it's super boring. I met you last night at your book signing in LA and we talked about being bullied in school. Personally for me being made fun of didn't start or end in high school, and it's only recently that I've started rejecting the negative comments with better ease. I was wondering since the industry that you're thriving in is notorious for being anything but kind if you still find yourself in situations where you're put down, and how do you handle it now?

HI! you are a literally doll! :) no apologies. i do, and like many people, i find it so difficult not to take it personally. i sometimes leave shows or work or parties feeling like such an outsider. but you need to know that you are so awesome (and beautiful! i know!), and everyone feels that way. they are coming from an insecure place and might have so many reasons to tease or act out. this isn't new advice, but you are you, for better or for worse, and we only get one little shot at this life so might as well say fuck it, im gonna have fun!

What's the biggest difference between writing for Twitter and writing for a TV show?

Twitter has 140 characters...Parks & Rec only has about 8 ;) ;) i love u babe!

But for realsies: story is a very hard thing to write! Twitter is all about jokes; TV is about what happens when, the voice of individual characters, and on top of all that being funny! TV is hard and great!

Which is your favourite chin?

Definitely the middle of the seventeen. I feel like it's my middle child - you need to give it a little extra love!!!

Can you please link the youtube video made by a non-professional that made you laugh the hardest?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMq1PiUbf-M

Whats the most painful Foam Corner-esque joke Harris Wittels has ever unleashed in the Parks and Rec writer's room?

I love this question.

OOOH! he is incredible at bad word play. when we cut things in a script sometimes he sings "sweet / cut-of-lines" to the tune of neil diamond's "sweet caroline"

How many weeks will you continue the unrelenting death march that is your weekly tbt on instagram?

until the grave, babe ;)

Dear Megan,

I'm a HUGE fan. I accidentally bought two copies of your book, but I'm going to keep them both - THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

• Where can I get one or both of them signed?

• Who are some of your favorite absurdist comedians?

OMG!! that's awesome, though i will personally refund you if you dont like it! i am traveling to toronto, ny, and boston this weekend (dates on my tumblr) and portland the weekend after. are you near any of those fine cities?

i love maria bamford, brent weinbach, tim and eric, andy kaufman. the greats!

It is always hard for women in comedy. If you're attractive, people think you gained success and/or a following because of your looks. If you're not, people ask, "why should I care?"

That being said, was your Twitter picture a conscious effort to avoid the male gaze and establish your humor?

this is a great question, FYI (tell your family, you did it!!) yes. i first and foremost think it's funny, but i never wanted someone to be able to blame my popularity on attractiveness, even if that's a spurious claim. also, trolls love to call women fat and ugly on the internet, and if i'm already basically calling myself fat and ugly with my picture, they better think of a smarter insult.

You said on Facebook to ask yes or no questions. So here's one:

Will you marry me (I'm a Japanese sex doll with a big tentacle for a penis)?

yes, where and when?

Your twitter is the best of all of the twitters. Lots of Nazi jokes. Is there a reason behind the lots of Nazi jokes?

THANK YOU! I do NAZI anything wrong with them ;) i love that the nazis had the swastika. it's just a little squiggle!! nazis were nothing but BIG BULLIES with a LIL DOODLE!!!!

What's it like working on the last season of a show as great as P&R? Are you excited about the chance to wrap things up, sad it's ending? What's next?

it's SO bittersweet. i've been here a significant amount of my twenties now -- it feels like a huge chapter of my life is ending. i've cried a TON at work! that's professional, right??

is Rosie O'Donnell still mad about your twitter avatar?

i think so? she keeps showing up at my house but i have a whistle that only she can hear and i blow it and she leaves!

Which do you like better? Meth, or your thigh gap?

my thigh gap. it's the only thing i've ever worked for. i want to have an EGOT (emmy, grammy, oscar, thigh gap)

Will you go on WTF with Marc Maron?

i would love to!

MEGAN. HI. I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON AND YOU'VE FAVED TWO OF MY TWEETS, THANKS. (That wasn't the question.)

Would you explain the plotlines of the three musicals you wrote at Harvard, and talk a little bit about whether you focused on music, lyrics, book writing, some combination???

any question about musicals is INSTANTLY at the top of my list!!! yes! i wrote the book and lyrics, with my friend alexandra, for three musicals. i focus on lyrics - it's my fave thing to write. one was about an advice columnist. one was called "Acropolis Now" and was about ancient greece. one was called "Commie Dearest" and was about the cold war!

Hello, I have two questions for you:

• How do you came up with the idea of "SCIENCE...FOR HER!"?

  Because when I was in middle school I slipped my tongue and I said Orgasms instead of Organisms

• What is your favorite dessert?

Thank you

1. my best friend amanda also did in MS and i was SO horrified for her!! SCIENCE...FOR HER! came about me not understanding ANYTHING about science and trying to bring it to a fun level for us ladies. I discuss shopping, men, driving, boys, dicks, and weens!

2. Salt & Straw ice cream!!!

Did you ever find your lost masking tape?

https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/354643251644465154

how is science for her different/worse than science for him?

SCIENCE...FOR HER! has much lighter, softer pages than a man's textbook, since our hands are MUCH smaller than a man's hands!! honestly it's hard to believe but a woman's hands could BOTH fit in the thumbnail of a man!

Native American here, what's up with those murals and how can I get featured on one?

omg OF COURSE. anything for you! i really think we white people owe you one :/

What did you look like about 88 weeks ago?

i was 64246 pounds and 2 feet tall!

Hi Viv!

Are you coming back for P&R's last season? We need you for a meta-episode in Ron's meta-cabin

i KNOW RIGHT

when was the one moment when - as a woman, a writer, and a comedian - you thought 'I have truly made it'?

gloria steinem blurbed the back cover of my book. i am so indebted to her, as a woman and a writer and a feminist, and it was already overwhelming enough that she helped me out. but the true MOMENT was that she sent me a HANDWRITTEN blurb on a piece of cardstock, and when you turn over the note you see that it's a letter katie couric had written to HER. she must've just reused the other side. so now i have a piece of stationary where one side is gloria's note to me, and the other is katie's note to gloria. thats when i knew I MADE IT!!

Have you tried to write too many dance scenes for Adam Scott after seeing him dance in Party Down?

i wrote a scene in one of my episodes where ben and jerry dance a tango! it was a dream come true. ben wyatt is a little man with a LOT OF RHYTHM!

[deleted]

i've lied in every single reddit answer so far. like for instance, that was a lie.

How often do people attempt to sing your name to the tune of "Black Betty"?

so much!!!!!

I feel like Adam Scott on P&R was just playing a different version of himself. Is he the quintessential straight man in real life also?

he is the best straight man of all time. i really as a rule do not associate with straight men, but adam is the top of the heap. note, i do not mean "the top of the heap," a sex move used in gay orgies.

What horrifying, unspeakable childhood trauma inspired you to become interested in the delights of comedy writing?

my twin brother FORCED me give him my holographic charizard pokemon card when we were in fifth grade. i've never recovered.

Latkes: sour cream or apple sauce?

both, babe ;)

Do you consider yourself a feminist?

oh HELL yes, bitches ;)

Hey, Megan! Who was made you the happiest this year and how did he or she do it?

hello kitty. she always knows how to make me happy :) ps she's a cat, not a girl.

Which form of writing do you enjoy most: television, books, or tweets?

they all go so well with each other, since they use different parts of your comedy brain! i think i'm most proud of tv, though, since it's longest form and can make you feel emotions, not just laughing! is laughing an emotion? i dont know science!

What's your all time favorite comedy?

pee wees big adventure

I wanted to let you know your tweet about the top award in farting being the pull-it surprise is my favorite tweet of all time. How excited were you when you thought of this? How many other fart jokes are you sitting on that are not yet fit for us to discover?

finally, someone gets me!!! i make so many puns but i am very embarrassed by them. every once in awhile one is good enough in my opinion that i GOTSTA share it with the world. i had one i liked that, when pluto was kicked out of the solar system, it was forced to by an organization called "Pared Planethood." oh god.

How involved are the Parks and Rec actors in the writers room? Do they often improvise on the scripts?

they aren't in the room as we write usually, and our scripts are less improvised than a lot of people think, but there are definitely a lot of improved lines that get in the show. so so many incredible improvisers in our cast. amy and pratt are especially incredible!

What sitcom would you have loved to have worked on?

30 ROCK!

Wich is the craziest/funniest moment you had working in Parks and Recreation?

chris pratt is one of the best humans on earth. i was filming an episode last year and he was supposed to hit a phone out of someone's hand, and instead he DROP KICKED A FAX MACHINE ACROSS THE SET. it hit a phone and you could so loudly hear the dial tone as it laid off the hook. i think it's the hardest i've ever laughed. didnt make it in the show, though :( :(

Will you please go back to deleting all your twitter replies and RT's? There's too much clutter on your timeline and I just wanna see your jokes :(

THIS IS MY GREATEST FEAR COME TRUE. i used to be so OCD about it and my friends made fun of me and i gave in!!! AHHHH!!!!!

So when are you going to stop posting that one photo every Thursday and why is the answer never?

which photo? ;)

Big Fan! thanks for doing this, I saw you perform a power point presentation at UCB in LA a few years back on "Smolking" I was wondering if you have ever posted this power point online?

i haven't but i want to! i still perform it! maybe if my gralndma hadnt quit smolking she'd still be alive and not suicide-ed!

Congrats on being the funniest person on twitter. Your baby corn joke made me cringe/laugh in a way I didn't know was possible.

My question: who would win in a fight, you or Rob Delaney?

Follow-up question: who would win in a swimsuit competition, you or Rob Delaney?

rob would CREAM me. literally. he would be a gross sexual deviant and cream me to death.

definitely me. i'd be willing to go full swastika body paint. he just has that stupid little banana hammock in his photo.

Hi Megan!!! I'm actually asking on behalf of my girlfriend who idolizes you and loves all your work! She was wondering what your path to being a comedy writer is and what steps you took to have such an amazing job? Ps. We both love your book!

thank you so much!! you are a GREAT gf or bf and she should marry you right now. i had an interesting path, starting with twitter, but i really believe if you just constantly MAKE THINGS and put them out there that the cream will rise! that being said, im a hack and only have like five jokes left in me. SORRY!

Amram I have you as my lock screen pic, does that mean we're due to get married soon?

WHOA i have YOU as MINE!

How close are you and Edward Droste? How did you guys meet? I see you guys go back and forth on twitter and it cracks me up

we are lovers in real life. we met at our arranged marriage thirty years ago.

I recently watched your episode of Drag U. Would you consider being a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race?

i would LOVE LOVE LOVE TO. i'm well equipped. i've literally never met a straight person. i think they're urban legends.

Megan! If you didn't have a Twitter account, what opportunities would you have missed out on? Or really what opportunities have you been given because of how popular you are on Twitter?

truly everything. twitter has been SO good to me. it allowed me to showcase my work and reach an audience of people i never would've otherwise. i'm so grateful for it. omg now im crying on the karyboarde anahd igts alll sligppery!!

Hi Megan - Most people don't know you for your beautiful poetry, but this poem has changed my life.

Can you speak about what it's like to switch between serious and silly work? Do you prefer one over the other?

i am so so flattered! i love poetry more than almost anything. i often find myself on the verge of tears reading my favorite poems. in terms of things i love, it goes: singing > poetry > comedy.

i really do believe they feed into each other. comedy and poetry are both about surprise, and a nimbleness with language. both should have real emotion behind them! it's two sides of the same coin.

Hi Megan! I have been a fan for a long time. Basically since like 2011. I love parks and rec and I LOVE your book. I even preordered hehe. I am a hairstylist in Ohio and I am not a writer or a comedian but you give me such inspiration to make my clients laugh all day and to remember that they are much more then the crazy beauty standards they stress about. I can't wait to see what else you are going to do!

My question is, when you are having a dry spell with your writing or jokes, where or who do you go to for inspiration? What helps your mind start generating your fresh, unique material you are so well-known for? Thanks again for being neat. Let me know when you are in Ohio so I can give you the blow dry(/job) of your life!

Thank you so much!!! I will have to come to Ohio - i have VERY bad hair and NEED HELP!!!

i go to the MALL. i truly sincerely LOVE malls and i also find them very stimulating, with people watching and just browsing.

did the Holocaust happen? if so how do you feel about it?

tl;dr

What advice can you offer to a woman in science (FOR HER), since you've made your way in the male-dominated world of comedy?

STRAP ONS. wear one at all time every day. it will intimidate the men, so you can sneak in and steal their promotions!!

1. How is your last name pronounced?

2. What is/are your favorite Parks and Rec episode(s)?

3. Did you ever expect that your twitter would become as popular as it is now? Do you consider yourself "twitter famous"?

Thanks for doing this. Big fan.

1. my name is pronounced "MIL-kuh," like the food "milk"!

2. Favorite is probably "Rock Show"?? Or "Ron & Diane!"

3. no way! i thought i would go down in flames and have to get a job as a hostess at the cheesecake factory. not that that's bad........

1. oh wait, just remembered, it's "AAM-ram"

You have, bar none, one of the most consistently funny twitter accounts. Since twitter doesn't pay you, do you have any reason to believe that it is a better outlet for some of your humor than other creative outlets, like a stand up routine or a TV show?

thank you so much! i tried stand up when i first got to LA, but i really dont like the lifestyle. it's SO grueling. i have such respect for the people who do it. but i love to write and act and i can make three funny faces and do a 15%-good bill cosby impression, so there's a show there somewhere, right?

Hi Megan! Superb job on Parks and Recreation. Do you have any tips or advice to aspiring female comedy writers? Thanks!

write as much as you possibly can! you need to write a lot in order to find out what you like, and what type of writing you're good at. don't afraid to be "girly" or a "feminist" -- it's our prerogative to be whoever we are as women, and not try to change our lifestyles to "hang with guys." that being said, guys also should feel free to be girly. lets all be ourselves and love each other and like cool stuff!

Do you like chunky apple sauce?

yes, but only if the chunks are peanuts

HEY BABE ;) I love your new brook even though I haven't gotten it yet. Do you have any other brook ideas? Also, when are you coming to Ireland?

BABE!!!! I WROTE THIS BROOK JUST FOR U - U R MY BEST FRIEND!!!!! i need to come to ireland! i hear they have sex on the other side of the road there ;)

What's your fav Parks episode written by you? I love Ron and Diane. The part where Tammy spreads her legs at the table will kill me each time I see it! Is it more fun to write for the personalities on Parks or the kooks on Kroll Show?

i think ron & diane is mine, too! it was such a special episode, hopefully very funny and emotional, too. i love all my episodes, though. flu season 2 was a big one last year! i love writing for parks because it's longer form, but nick kroll is one of the funniest people ive ever met. I LOVE TV!!!

Hey Megan. Love all your work. Signed up just to ask you this question.

There are a lot of great professional writers out there, but you're one whose work seems to consistently rise above. Everyone knows you have to work hard to succeed, but what else goes into developing (or protecting?) a truly unique delivery?

first of all, thank you so much!! i love your work, too!!

i think you just need to trust your internal comedic compass. my book is very odd and specific, but i knew it was exactly what i wanted to do and didnt want to compromise about the premise. you should be open to constructive criticism of course, but you dont need to write things just because you think they'll be popular!

Will you write a sequel to "Science… For Her!"?

i would love to! thinking "SPORTS...FOR HER!" or "SCIENCE...FOR HER...FOR HIM!"

Hi Megan! How did you celebrate your book coming out? Both appropriate and inappropriate!

honest answer: went to the cheesecake factory in LA with a bunch of friends last night. had an oreo milkshake and a long island ice tea. i know how to party!!!!!!!

Hi megan! I've been following your career via twitter and it's been so cool watching you get these amazing gigs, and write a book, and just be generally excellent as a human being. I'm currently in college studying radio/tv/film, but I want to write comedy when I graduate. I have a few questions!!

1. How much help did your alma mater help you when you graduated? aka does it matter what school you go to (i'm at a state school in the middle of nowhere holla)

2. When did you know you were funny enough to be funny for a career?

3. Does Mike Shur have a heavenly glow surrounding him at all times?

that's awesome, and truly, best of luck!! i am a witch also, so who do you want me to curse???

1. hmm. it helped, but the internet helped more. i went to harvard (the "harvard of the east") which is very well connected in the comedy world, but i didnt have a lot of "connections" when i moved to la. it all really came for me from the internet and twitter. so just keep making stuff and put it online if that's your jam!

2. i never did, and still dont. i constantly wake up feeling like a fraud. but i love it, and im gonna keep doing this till they tell me i cant anymore ;)

3. yes. it smells like boston baked beans and nomar garciaparra.

yes or no?

ok

How can I get boys to talk to me?

become a 911 operator and set their houses on fire!! theyll be BEGGING to talk to you! ;)

what is your favorite food in the whole wide world?

baby carrots, no bit!!!

Have you ever wanted to try out performing, whether on stage or television?

yes! for most of my life i was in musicals all the time. all i want is to be on broadway.

will you have any more acting bits in the new season? I loved you in the episode as potential buyers for Ron's cabin

i play leslie this year!!

Hey! I saw you on Carson Daly the other night, you were hilarious! How was the potato?

THANK YOU! it was DISGUSTING! i thought a raw potato tasted like potato salad. spoiler alert: they cook those ones!!

What is your relationship with Rob Delaney like? brother/sister? lover/lover? dad/daughter? cat person/dog person?

front of human centipede/middle of human centipede

Can you tell Chris Pratt that I want to be friends with him? He seems really damn funny and an awesome person to drink with.

sure! can i give him your name/SSN??

What is your favorite sitcom of all time? Why?

honestly, i think the original The Comeback is a PERFECT show. it's so funny and tragic at the same time. Lisa Kudrow is a genius!!!