I'm comedian John Mulaney, and I'm sitting with my dog, drinking seltzer. Ask me anything.


retweet: https://twitter.com/reddit_AMA/status/518840529271144449

Comments: 2401 • Responses: 45  • Date: 

zpearlman2051 karma

Hi John, My name is Zack Pearlman. I'm actually a co-worker of yours. I have a question for you. Can I have a raise? Thank you in advance.

John-Mulaney2381 karma

I know what you make because I am the Creator and Executive Producer and I sign off on the budget. I will tweet your salary if you bother me again. See you tonight Zack!

thecricketnerd321 karma

You were great in The Inbetweeners.

zpearlman507 karma

thank you :)

John-Mulaney1265 karma


operation_hennessey1205 karma

We love your bit about Ice-T in the sex crimes division. Have you ever met Ice-T? Do you think he's heard your joke?

shennricks826 karma

He not only heard it; he did the intro to his new show.

John-Mulaney1846 karma

This is correct. Ice does the intro to our show. Hearing him say Mulaney was a highlight of my life so far.

notyournemesis594 karma

your dog is great. i like your dog's instagram. is your dog going to be in your television show? i'd like to be friends with your dog. will your dog do an AMA? is your dog free for coffee sometime

John-Mulaney633 karma

I wish Petunia could be on the show but she doesn't really respond to the sound of my voice so I doubt she would sit still to be filmed.

uzairthebear544 karma

Did you ever end up getting that Xanax prescription?

John-Mulaney1191 karma

No but when I told that story on stage the night it happened some people in the crowd gave me xanax.

buckets41499 karma

How does it feel to be high-waisted man with feminine hips?

John-Mulaney671 karma

Annoying. I mean I wish I felt better when I tucked my shirt in but I never will.

frackingnerds435 karma

I was wondering if being friends with Pete Holmes and Nick Kroll has any effect on your new show? Do you run ideas by them ?

John-Mulaney712 karma

Both Nick and Pete will be on upcoming episodes!

deadpool902404 karma

Hey John! Has your experience with Delta Airlines improved at all?

John-Mulaney1119 karma

The last time I flew Delta airlines I almost went through security with a friend's weed in my backpack. I quickly ducked out of line and flushed it. I was very lucky. After making fun of Delta I doubt they would have been merciful.

tunasubs364 karma

What was the process of coming up with the comedic genius of "Too Much Tuna"?

John-Mulaney998 karma

Nick and I came up with Too Much Tuna in five seconds with Jessi Klein about ten years ago at a restaurant on 6th avenue called French Roast. We got a plate with too much tuna and we said "this is too much tuna."

icethepartyplanner348 karma

Are you planning on turning any of your bits into plots on the show?

John-Mulaney787 karma

Yes. The first episode opens with two stories I have told onstage. Tonight at 9:30 on FOX. Sorry, but it makes sense to plug it here.

dodachacha307 karma

What's the worst decision you have ever made? What's the best decision?

John-Mulaney1397 karma

Worst decision: not taking an algebra placement exam in 8th grade which would have let me skip Algebra 1 freshman year of high school. the night before the test I went to see the movie Twister and then I cancelled taking the test because I didn't study. I had to take Algebra 1 in high school and the ripple effect meant I had to take Calculus 1 in college. Huge mistake. And I didn't even like Twister that much.

Befozz306 karma

Do you have anymore blackout/ ruin party stories you could share?

John-Mulaney1491 karma

Yes many. Most not that funny. Most very boring. I once blacked out and bought a humidifier. And I needed a humidifier.

yasupra292 karma

What’s your advice for someone just starting in comedy?

John-Mulaney768 karma

Start a show. Host the show. at a bar or any space. then you have guaranteed stage time and you do other comics favors by giving them spots so then they will give you spots on their shows. also hang out a lot at comedy clubs.

John-Mulaney258 karma

Thanks for the questions. My show MULANEY premieres tonight on FOX at 9:30 PM/8:30 PM CENTRAL right after "Family Guy." I sincerely hope you like it. This was fun. Thanks. JM

streets_ahead_of_you252 karma

What's new, pussycat?

EDIT: originally said "What's up, pussycat?"

John-Mulaney436 karma

I think you mean "What's NEW pussycat." And nothing much. Thanks!

Bend2Squares210 karma


John-Mulaney257 karma

Thanks for saying that. Really.

palindrome007169 karma

Hi John! As a fellow Hoya, I have to ask: what did you like/dislike about attending Georgetown?

PS: Saw your show at Gramercy Theater last week. I was so excited that MY STOMACH HURT

John-Mulaney312 karma

I liked most things about Georgetown. I miss it a lot. I kind of liked that Birbiglia, Kroll and me and the Improv group were the only people doing comedy there. We had little competition.

JeffieM160 karma

What's your all time favorite Stefon bit? And what are your other favorite SNL bits?

John-Mulaney370 karma

My favorite Stefon thing ever was "three screaming babies in mozart wigs" because it made my wife laugh really hard.

phyzex147 karma

Yo John, did you step on the glass when you married that angel of a Jewess?

Mazal Tov on the marriage and welcome to the tribe!

John-Mulaney209 karma

I stepped on a lightbulb because they break easier. Thanks! I am the luckiest man in the world.

166MM144 karma

Are you a San Pellegrino, a SodaStream, or a generic seltzer guy?

John-Mulaney238 karma

Penguin. Home made

Achmed_Khan135 karma

Favorite moment while writing for SNL?

John-Mulaney261 karma

Too many to name. I would say the very very late nights writing with Marika Sawyer and Simon Rich. We would laugh and laugh and laugh. It was so fun. I cannot express in words how fun it was.

Mr_Aids133 karma

Are you planning on touring again once Mulaney is done shooting?

John-Mulaney276 karma


kpetersen1131 karma

Hey! I'm a huge fan and I'm excited for tonight!

Do you ever miss living in DC?

John-Mulaney295 karma

I do miss DC. It's such a weird hazy city late at night. I remember riding around (drunk) in a cab in Foggy Bottom when I was younger thinking, "so much weird, sinister, amazing stuff has happened in this city."

bethanyhudson117 karma

Is Petunia excited for tonight?

John-Mulaney355 karma

She could not care less. Literally doesn't even look at the TV when one of those promos comes on.

liftyr106 karma

how much money do you make a year (after taxes)?

John-Mulaney1216 karma

I get paid $2000 to write the show and then for my acting I have to give back the $2000.

jman83791 karma

Do you think you would ever want to collaborate with Donald Glover on anything? Like for his show Atlanta possibly? You guys seem to have a lot in common.

John-Mulaney156 karma

I love Donald. I haven't seen him in a while. We were at Bumbershoot several years ago. That may be the last time. I love that guy.

Elazarta89 karma

Hey John - looking foward to watching your show tonight and since you're a great comedian I was wondering....

What is your favorite joke of all time?

John-Mulaney183 karma

I never have a good answer for this. Any joke by Dave Attel, Todd Glass or Mitch Hedberg probably. Also Paul F Tompkins joke about Fabio is way high up there.

1up-85 karma

Hey, John I'm a huge fan, totally excited for your show!

For my friends who aren't huge fans, why should they watch your show?

John-Mulaney153 karma

Even if you don't know me or don't like me, the rest of the cast is outstanding. Martin Short and Elliott Gould are amazing. And I think this is some of the best work Nasim Pedrad has ever done. Seaton Smith and Zack Pearlman are about to be huge stars.

MontyNavarro62 karma

John! I love your work! You are my number one comedian! I was wondering if you have any stories you don't tell about you and your friend John? I would totally appreciate it.

John-Mulaney126 karma

Yes many. He is my best friend and was my best man. He has been cooler than me our whole lives. I have always looked up to him. He also got tons more women than me. It was just embarrassing.

swainstache46 karma

You obviously enjoy seltzer, what would you say is your favorite snack food? Saltines?

John-Mulaney80 karma

I like popcorn these days.

bethanyhudson36 karma

Who's your favorite SNL Character? (Besides Stefon of course.)

John-Mulaney71 karma

My favorite character was Forte's Hamilton. Of ones I wrote (besides Stefon?) would be Fred Armisen's RILEY maybe?

NUhockey29 karma

When you were at a SNL, did you write anything for Nasim Pedrad? And how instrumental were you in her casting for Mulaney?

John-Mulaney71 karma

I cast her so very. And yes! I wrote Arianna Huffington with her.

mHonne19 karma

Do you like filming in LA rather than New York?

John-Mulaney47 karma

I like that in LA i get to work with the people I do. But I miss New York a lot.

awesomeepossum18 karma

Hey John, I've been a big fan of your standup for a few years now. I had tickets to your show at Syracuse University in a few weeks but it got cancelled. Do you know why that happened or if there's a chance it'll get rescheduled?

John-Mulaney98 karma

I had to move several shows because our production calendar changed. I run the TV show so its impossible for me to get away. BUT I feel terrible about the cancellations. I am trying hard to reschedule those and will make it up to you all. You have my word. I'll do an extra long show even to the point that I run out of decent material.

sexualnapalm14 karma

Can we expect any future oh hello appearances on comedy bang bang or kroll show?

John-Mulaney19 karma


bostoff13 karma

what's your favorite song?

John-Mulaney45 karma


bml8wn7 karma


John-Mulaney42 karma

she cuts my hair and you should buy her book THE DAILY FACE: 25 LOOKS FOR DAY NIGHT AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

evanb_5 karma

Hi, John. My friends and I all consider you one of the best stand-up comedians around, so I've been waiting to ask you a couple questions:

  1. What is your favorite episode of Seinfeld?

  2. Have you ever almost peed yourself onstage?

  3. On your new show, will there be new material? In the trailers it seems like you're re-doing some jokes off your albums. We've listened to them all.

  4. How do your parents feel about you going to Georgetown to become a comedian?

  5. How can I convince my friend to do stand-up?

  6. Who is your favorite active comedian? For us, it's a toss-up between you and Hannibal Burress. What about all-time? Who inspires you?

John-Mulaney13 karma

  1. The Library book one.
  2. Todd Glass, Paul F Tompkins, Dave Attel

SomeGuyNamedDJ5 karma

As a proud full grown Asian woman, what did you have for breakfast today?

John-Mulaney7 karma


Neiljackandjimmy2 karma

Hi john! It's my birthday tomorrow can you wish me a happy birthday?

John-Mulaney4 karma

Happy Birthday

heylookjorge2 karma

What's your favorite quote from the Assassination of Jesse James and have you ever used it on Pete?

John-Mulaney4 karma

"perhaps you could indulge us in some conversations" or "you don't have to smoke that if its making you mungy."

Rieux892 karma

Thanks for doing an AMA! I love your stand-up. Do you have a pre-show routine for live shows and what's been your favorite experience on the set of your new show? And who's your favorite famous person?

John-Mulaney6 karma

For live shows I have no routine. Taylor Williamson once caught me doing push-ups backstage so I never did that again. One of my favorite experience on the set of my show was watching my friend Pete Holmes improvise for a half hour while I got to watch.