Chris D'Elia back again. My new show Undateable premieres tonight. Ask me anything.

HOW ARE YOU S'CUTE?

Just happened. Can't explain. I'm sorry but I just... can't... explain.

How big is Bryan Callen's dick?

Average. Wait... you tricked me.

Y'Gah'Boyf?

Nah'don'gah.

Do you think you will ever reappear in workaholics?

You gotta ask those guys!

What's the worst heckle you've ever received while on stage performing?

One time a guy threw a donut at me and I just opened my mouth and ate and swallowed the whole thing within one second.

I've seen some drunk booze hag heckle Chris in Charlotte couple weeks ago. She got destroyed. Hard.

Can't stand hecklers.

How impressive are Will Sasso's calves in real life?

Dude you CANNOT believe it. As big as Bryan's bald spot.

Hey Chris, where is that super-tiny stair railing that you've Vine'd a couple times?

Charlotte, North Carolina!

How often do people catch you making fun of them on Vine?

Edit: And what do you think of Vine being a good platform for new comedians? I feel like most people write it off as a stupid app but I've seen some legitimately funny people on there.

I don't like most people's vines. Too "Planned". I've never ever been caught.

Hey Chris,

True D'Eliever here. I love the podcast and I was wondering if you had any plans on having Bryan Callen make an appearance on Undateable even though he knows s'little 'bout comedy?

He could play my COMPLETELY UGLY neighbor.

How much cocaine do you do?

I always do zero cocaines.

How excited are you to be Justin Biebers favourite comedian, have the beliebers assaulted you yet?

I love Bieber. Bielebe and also D'Elieve.

I ate dinner next to you once, it was weird because I was breaking a Workaholics spec. I think you were eating with your dad. He looks like Barry from Storage Wars. Or was that Barry from Storage Wars?

No. I always eat every night with Barry from Storage Wars.

how does one become s'cute?

Giggle a lot and also do things like where you pout a lot.

Hey Chris. Big fan I've seen your standups and they're hilarious! How do you deal with hecklers during these standups?

SHUT EM DOWN DUDE FUCK HECKLERS.

Has Brent Morin ever actually had sex with a woman?

Yes 3 times.

When will the TenMinPod tour happen?

We are starting to do select cities. Working on it!

How much of TMP is scripted? Do you guys ever just go completely off-script?

It is 100 percent unscripted.

What was the most fun part of making undateable?

Working with all of my comedian friends. Love them.

What's your reaction to the recent controversy concerning your show?

Did my dick pics leak or something?

My girlfriend and I saw you at the comedy store about a year ago and we thought you were the funniest person we had ever seen. I just want to know if you're still going to tour regularly now that you have this new show? I think you're hilarious and I hope we get to see you the next time you come to Denver

I still do stand up always. I'll make it to Denver soon!

Whats the weirdest experience you've had on stage?

Had a BIG girl attack me once.

If you could combine two animals to make one which would they be?

Hehehe

A tiger and hawk. That would be a tiger with tiny ass wings. Ehe.

If you could open for any comedian (living or dead) who would it be?

Eddie Murphy!!!

One, thank you for all of the laughs. Two, what the fuck happened to Vine?

Thank you for supporting! And yes i know... ughhhh.

If you had the opportunity to be an A-list TV actor, movie actor, or stand-up comic, what would you choose to be?

Stand up all the way.

Weirdest/scariest encounter you've had with a fan? Also, I told my neighbors to name their dog Topher after the character you played on Workaholics because he's friends with us guys now. They did.

Had a guy come up to me after a show in Chicago and ask me to sleep with his wife. So creepy and so weird and I didn't do it.

Brent Morin and you have very similar styles it seems.. did you two immediately click as a comedy duo or did it take a few drinks to settle into a comedic feed-off-each-other type of a groove?

He is a robot that I created in Sacramento.

Hey, y'think I c'get bae's number?

N'

You manage to have so much fun on stage without even trying, did you get into much trouble at school for being a class clown?

YES! Of course I did. I laughed all the time and made fun of everything. Fuck it ya know? Trouble finds you everywhere.

Hey Chris serious question...are you bae? Or are you just another side bae?

<3

Seriously though, how did working on set for Whitney differ with the people you work with on Undateable?

I'm the actual Bae.

Almost called the show "Unbaetable".

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Coffee ehehehehehehehe.

Will there be an American Animal 2?

Ask Matt!!!

Cant wait for the show! Will you be my Bae tonight?

Tonight? I'm everybody's Bae.

Where's the weirdest place you've ever gotten a boner?

In Brooklyn.

Why do you allow the comment trolls to bother you?

EDIT: I'm specifically talking about the bullshit Vine and Twitter comments you get. They are so ridiculous, but you usually retaliate.

I love responding it's fun for me. Ehehehehehehe.

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I hated school. Couldn't wait to get out. I made the best of it though. I started stand up at age 25.