Iama 19 year old girl who killed a man. And I'd like to talk about it because i never got to before
I got to my car around 10:30, took off my work apron (server), turned off my phone, and started to drive down home. I turned up the radio trying to hear the results of the trial, and when I looked up, the bike on the sidewalk next to me had started to wobble and before I knew it, he had fallen feet in front of my car. The time it took me to move my foot from the gas to the break, it was too late. I had driven over him at 45mph. I threw my car into park, and ran out to his side. No other cars stopped, some even honked and flipped my off for being in the road. I was in emt school at the time and by the time i got to his side, i knew he wasnt going to make it. He had internal bleeding, broken spine, and his heart was giving out fast. I told him to lie still and i ran back to get my phone to call 911. it took 2 minutes for cops to arrive and and extra minute after that for the ambulance. This was in an area that could be considered a "hood" and soon people started to come around. everyone was yelling "is he dead yet?" "you just killed that man" but no one would help stop traffic. finally the cops arrived and the ambulance shortly after. He died as they arrived to the hospital. I was later informed that he was intoxicated at the time which they believe caused him to lose balance and fall into the street. being around the ED/ER and death i thought this shouldn't bother me as much as i did. So i never got help. I never told anyone. this happened 1/2 mile from my work and most people still dont know what happened. but i needed to tell someone before it ate me up.
Edit: Thank you for the comments, both good and bad. I just wanted to add a few things.
Until i posted this, i really hadn't noticed that i was still dealing with it. But I have contacted my school about seeing a counselor. I didn't know my school had counselors (im only in the EMS/Fire which is off campus).
The Phone My Phone had a setting to turn off data/text/incoming calles EXSEPT FOR EMERGANCY USE. this setting was on. 1: I was in EMT school. And EMTs drive ambulances. I have kept a perfect driving record sense i was 16 so that I could work in an ambulance.
2: My insurance gets a discount if i "swear to not text and drive". This being said, they of course will never know if my phone is really on or off, but i do it regardless.
3: about 3-4 months before my wreck, my friend was killed by a driver who was texting.