Comments: 112 • Responses: 45  • Date: 

Atomiskk20 karma


Atomiskk24 karma


thewaterballoonist34 karma

He said "Push this button with your right hand."

thewaterballoonist15 karma

Sure do!

Ramza_Claus19 karma

Has your immediate supervisor ever approached you and inquired as to whether or not you were free to work on other tasks?

thewaterballoonist27 karma

I replied in the affirmative and he directed me to depress one particular button with the index finger located on my right hand.

razorbladecherry9 karma

Thank you for this awesome AMA. Have all my upvotes.

thewaterballoonist22 karma

Upvote this thread with a left click.

cornponious7 karma

What kind of buttons? The kind that hold my shirt closed or the kind that I loved to push at radio shack when I was a kid?

thewaterballoonist13 karma

The kind you push with your right hand.

OttStew1 karma

Are left handed buttons sub-contracted a separate factory or something?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

No. I generally just start with my right hand. My wife thinks I have undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder.

carl_lazlo6 karma

Hi Joe!

thewaterballoonist3 karma


Barboski5 karma

Are you busy?

thewaterballoonist8 karma


Flecdorbee6 karma

Do you make the buttons, or just inspect them?

thewaterballoonist11 karma

Actually, I push them.

Flecdorbee1 karma

Oooooooh fun! Do you get to push big, red ones sometimes?

thewaterballoonist14 karma

Sometimes my boss comes to me and says, "Joe, are you busy?" I say, "no." He says, "push this button with your right hand."

trillaphon5 karma

Hey Joe! Does your job keep you very busy?

thewaterballoonist13 karma

Generally, if my boss comes to me and says, "Joe, are you busy?" I'll say, "no."

chickencorn5 karma

What exactly is the purpose of turning that button with your right hand? Is it really integral to the button making process?

thewaterballoonist24 karma

The right hand isn't always necessary. For example, one day my boss came to me. He said, "Joe, are you busy?" I said "No." He said push this button with your LEFT hand.

thewaterballoonist16 karma

I was already pushing a button with my right hand, so that may have had something to do with it.

chickencorn3 karma

So, wait, you push the button at your button factory? At the button factory near me, I've heard that they turn the button. What accounts for the difference in button making techniques?

thewaterballoonist2 karma

I think it's a regional difference. Once I visited a button factory in Maine, all of them were turning buttons. It blew my mind.

jw123214 karma

Are you busy?

thewaterballoonist4 karma


elfish204 karma

Awww as a kid I always wondered how buttons were made.

thewaterballoonist5 karma

Although I make the kind of buttons you push with your hand. You generally start with your right hand.

fungwah3 karma

Do you ever have to push buttons with your feet? What about other parts of your body?

thewaterballoonist3 karma

Generally I start with my right hand, then if pushing a second button is required, I push with my left hand. The third button I often push with my right foot, but on occasion I choose my left. I then push a button with my head. If need be, I have been known to use my tongue. By this point if my boss asks me if I'm busy, I say, "YES!" (or "yeth" if my tongue is out).

ComplacentPingPong3 karma

Typically, how many of one type of button gets made?

thewaterballoonist20 karma

I'm not sure of the overall numbers. If I have any free time at work, my boss usually comes to me and says, "Joe, are you busy?" I have to answer "No," and then he gives me an assignment.

ztptpro3 karma

What's your favorite hobby Joe?

thewaterballoonist5 karma

Well, I have a wife and three kids.

kcell2 karma

You had a major impact me when I was a kid. Thanks for all that you do.

thewaterballoonist2 karma

Glad to hear I made a difference. Sometimes it's hard to tell because I'm so busy pushing buttons in the button factory.

Dyevochka2 karma

When you're already pressing buttons with your hands, feet, and head - as I'm sure you often do - what do you prefer to use next, in the event that you're called upon to press yet another button? Tongue? Tushy?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

I usually push buttons in whatever order my boss tells me to. In the event that he leaves it up to me I go in this order:

Right hand Left hand Right foot Head Tongue

After that, when he asks me if I'm busy, I say "YES!" (or "yeth" if my tongue is out).

PapaMountainGoat2 karma

What kind of buttons do you make?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

The kind you push with your right hand.

MilitaryBarbie2 karma

What are your hours and benefits? Is button pushing a worthwhile profession to enter? Where (or to whom) can I submit my resume?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

I make enough money to support my wife and three kids. Though sometimes hours are long, it's a rewarding job. Send me your resume, I'll pass it along to my boss the next time he asks me if I'm busy.

ClearlyDoesntGetIt2 karma

What is the most ridiculous request your supervisor has ever made?

thewaterballoonist3 karma

One time he asked me to push a button with my left foot while my right foot was already pressing a button! I know, crazy huh?

crazyjeffy2 karma

When will the traditional button cease production? I very much enjoy the buttons that snap into place.

thewaterballoonist1 karma

You're thinking of the buttons you wear. I deal strictly in buttons you push-for example-with your right hand.

crazyjeffy2 karma

I've never been more puzzled in my life. What purposes do your buttons serve?

thewaterballoonist2 karma

I push them

crazyjeffy1 karma

I must see what one of these right hand only buttons look like

thewaterballoonist2 karma

They're virtually indistinguishable from buttons you push with your left hand.

Pocketsun2 karma

Just wanted to pop in and say hello!

thewaterballoonist2 karma


OttStew1 karma

Hi Joe,

This is for my friend Kirk (he's looking for a career change)...Is working at a button factory better or worse than working a cracker factory?


thewaterballoonist3 karma

I've never worked in a cracker factory before, but I can tell you working in a button factory has helped me support my wife and three kids. Two of them are through college now and the third is in his junior year studying liberal arts, whatever the hell that means. That kid is either going to end up in grad school or working with me at the button factory. Not that it's a bad gig, but I always thought of it more as a job than a calling. I really want him to find his bliss, you know?

Fap_Fapperson1 karma

hows the dog wife and two kids thing going for ya?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

It's great. I'm getting pretty close to retirement so I'll get to spend a lot more time with them soon!

Ardentis1 karma


thewaterballoonist1 karma

We used to have a dog.

dcebulsk1 karma

Hi Joe.

thewaterballoonist1 karma


HipsterAlerts1 karma

Who's got the button?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

My boss generally.

Vander_Dander1 karma

Joe, when you push this button, what happens?!

thewaterballoonist2 karma

Someone you've never met before dies, but you get paid a million dollars.

canarysleigh1 karma

Hi Joe! Are you busy? If no, can you turn the button with your right hand?

thewaterballoonist2 karma


TChuff1 karma

How do you and those in your industry feel about those who work in zipper factories?

thewaterballoonist4 karma

I have a friend in the zipper industry. We have to maintain solidarity. The only real difference is when his boss comes to him and asks him if he's busy and he says no, he has to zip a zipper with his right hand.

iR3MO1 karma

Your name seems to suggest that your profession includes water balloons... Which one is it, joe?! Dammit, I'm getting real tired of your shit!

thewaterballoonist3 karma

I have a life outside of work. I have a wide and three kids.

appajack293 karma

What kind of wide is it? How wide? PLEASE ANSWER

thewaterballoonist1 karma

Whoops, that's supposed to be wife. You think I'd be better at typing considering my profession.

thewaterballoonist1 karma

Also, I don't think my wife would appreciate being called a wide.

Kilir1 karma

I LOVED this back in Lamb Chop, except the name was Flo and -she- worked in a button factory. My sister and I would do it over and over.

thewaterballoonist3 karma

Oh, Flo. She and I once got drunk at the office Christmas party and... I'd better not say any more.

SniperRezil1 karma

Something tells me this job must be cool, how is it?

thewaterballoonist1 karma

It pays the bills. I have a wife and three kids to support after all.

sweetsister1 karma


thewaterballoonist2 karma

Let's see...

Right hand, left hand, right foot, head and tongue. That's five.

ifrogotmyname0 karma

still pushing those buttons joe?

thewaterballoonist2 karma


monokoo940 karma

Fuck you and this exercise

thewaterballoonist6 karma

I'm sorry if I'm pushing your buttons.