Hi Reddit! I am Erika Lust, award-winning adult filmmaker of ethical porn movies with cinematic quality values. May - Masturbation Month is my favourite month of the year... To celebrate it, I asked sexologists Juliet Allen and Dr. Tara to join me here to answer all your questions about masturbation not only as a solo activity, but also as an experience that can be shared with others.

Why them? Juliet Allen is well-known for her bold, straight-to-the-point manner and for authentically sharing her own experience as a lover of all things sex, sensuality and business leadership. Dr. Tara is a professor of relational and sexual communication, an award-winning researcher, a sex and relationship coach, and the host of her podcast about sexual wellness and sexploration.

You have the chance to talk about all the doubts, myths, and experiences you have had around the topic of self- pleasure in full detail. Ask any of us and we'll be happy to answer: u/erika_lust, u/LuvbitesByDrTara & u/juliet_allen

Watch my special masturbation month series for FREE , and us ask us anything about it!

Proof: Here's my proof!

Comments: 113 • Responses: 14  • Date: 

Lallner39 karma

What advice do you have for mothers (and fathers?) when they are talking to their daughters about masturbation?

Erika_Lust13 karma

Hi u/Lallner, also we're leaving here a free guide that was created by our professional sexologists at The Porn Conversation (our non profit) that will help you engage in the conversation with your kids. They're adapted to different ages and languages. Hope it helps :)

ddawgz35 karma

What do you think would help break the taboo that "masturbation is yucky" I hang with mostly sex positive people but every now and then I will hear that hot take.

Do you guys think porn shifting to be more amateur based has helped break body stigmas or does it continue to perpetuate unhealthy sex ideals?

Erika_Lust2 karma

Hi u/ddawgz! We believe that watching porn that represents different perspectives, body types and identities can help broaden one's mind and break certain stigmas, definitely.

cookieAnya9 karma

Hey, this is Anya here. So I am all alone right now and I watch Xconfession while masturbating. I sometimes use sex toys too but I want to have some creativity in masturbating. What can I add? And how frequent should I masturbate bcoz It took sometimes 2-3 months, sometimes 3 days in a row. So there isn't any pattern. Should I have pattern?

Erika_Lust3 karma

What are some tips you can give us if we decide to make some homemade videos? (only intended for our own viewing pleasure for now, not to sell/share)

Hi u/cookieAnya! As u/LuvbitesByDrTara says, no pattern needed as long as it feels and does you good.

If you want to add some creativity while masturbating, we recommend you don't necessarily focus your attention on the genitalia. There are parts of your body you'd be surprised to find erogenous, so explore it with your own hands, caress yourself and play with different levels of pressure depending on what feels good to you.

If you want to know even more, we're leaving here a series from another streaming platform of ours (Lust Cinema) called Sex School where we explain different ways to explore your sexuality in a healthy and open-minded way.

Hope it helps!

taforgw9 karma

First off, big fan of lust cinemas.


My wife and I have a healthy sex life, but there is one struggle. She often doesn't get fully wet until after orgasm. We spend a lot of time on foreplay, but the moisture really comes after orgasm.

Do you think there is any way masturbation could be used as "training?" I'm not sure how else to ask the question.

There is a lot more detail to this, which I'll gladly provide, but hopefully you can provide some insight.

Thank you!

Erika_Lust5 karma

Hi u/taforgw, continue prioritizing foreplay as it can help increase arousal and natural lubrication. Explore various forms of stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation, before engaging in penetrative intercourse.

Yes, you can try incorporating masturbation, as it can help both of you understand your desires and needs and find the best techniques to reach them. Also, lube can be a good way to help increase lubrication, so go lube-shopping and try to find the one that suits you best and incorporate it from the beginning.

kak0iy0kunai7 karma

What are some tips for feeling close and connected when masturbating with a partner?

Erika_Lust5 karma

Hi u/kak0iy0kunai! Leaving our latest series from XConfessions on masturbation with partners here, the episodes are now for free and they show different perspectives on the subject.

Reinoud-7 karma

Hi there! We love your content! What are some tips you can give us if we decide to make some homemade videos? (only intended for our own viewing pleasure for now, not to sell/share)

Erika_Lust6 karma

Hello u/reinoud-, thanks for your questions :)

The main idea is to have fun, lots of fun! Try having a wide shoot so you don't miss any part of the show. It is not an Oscar movie, so play with it, look at the camera, and move around for the best angle. Don't be afraid to try new things and experiment with different video styles, effects, or storytelling techniques.

Remember, if you want to keep it private and safe search for apps or tools on your phone that help you keep it that way. We have a series on LustCinema called Lust Adventures that might give you some ideas: The latest one here!

Practical_Candy_36915 karma

I’m a very sexual person and do love to masturbate and enjoy having sex since long time ago. I support xconfessions and porn alike but I’m not usually watching porn as I always got disgusted by what I saw on pornhub and all the free sites out there, so for me imagination’s been big. My partner consumes porn on a regular basis, and I’m really not cool about it, although ofc he’s free to do what he enjoys. How can I better accept him consuming porn as his only source for masturbation? Any advice? (I try to be free minded but in the end I feel super conservative and insecure. Like I used to think if my partner(s) masturbate with porn our sex is not sufficiently satisfying and it’s kind of a betrayal, which is a very limiting thought and I know masturbation is sth personal. Still would like to get some help on that to work on my thoughts/belief, to not be that bothered by his source for masturbation)

Erika_Lust2 karma

Hi u/Practical_Candy_3691, this is a very common feeling so don't feel bad about it, the important thing is to work on it in a healthy way. Begin with an honest and open conversation with your partner. It may feel uncomfortable at first but it's important that you let them know how you feel about it.

Explain how you're not initiating the conversation in order for them to stop doing it, but to understand the reasons why they do so in order not to jump into conclusions that aren't necessarily true. This will most likely help you create a more healthy relationship with them and understand their point of view better.

Faralesh3 karma

I feel a lot of shame when it comes to masturbation, but I want the health benefits from it. Any books or advice you reccomend?

Erika_Lust6 karma

Hello u/faralesh , I would recommend that you try mindful masturbation. You can check out a guide that I wrote here. Good luck & I hope it helps!

Raimunda693 karma

Could you recommend some videos about masturbation?

Erika_Lust5 karma

Hi u/Raimunda69, of course! Jump into our latest XConfessions series called 'Masturdate'where different couples talk about their relationships with partnered masturbation. Hope you enjoy them!

Raimunda693 karma

Ah sorry! Now I see that you have a link to some videos. Could you explain me a bit more about them…

Erika_Lust1 karma

Yes! We planned dates for 4 couples where they walk us through their relationship and how they incorporate solo sex. Each couple has different perspectives as to how masturbation:

- Nicole & Jonte: Their connection is so strong that they love masturbating together, using their chemistry to turn them on. They love watching each other get off while looking into each other's eyes.who

- Mercè and Cristian: They love each other, but they also love enjoying their sexuality in their private spaces. Mercè loves to masturbate with her trusty vibrator, while Cristian enjoys watching Mercè's porn movies.

- Jake & Dillon: They love doing their kind of masturbation, where nipple play is super important.

- Kris & Nikki: Kristen loves it when Nikki tells her what to do. They do it right until the end. Kristen enjoys this moment of not making any decisions and enjoying pleasure while following their lead...

Some of the learnings are that masturbation can help you become more comfortable with your body and sexual preferences. By exploring your desires and needs, you can communicate more effectively with your partner about what you enjoy and want to try in the bedroom. It can improve your sexual self-awareness, enhance your sexual experiences with your partner, and help maintain a healthy sexual relationship.

Go check it out for free and let us know what you think!

littlebigman91 karma


Erika_Lust2 karma

We are adult filmmaker Erika Lust and renowned sexologists, Dr. Tara and Juliet Allen and we've teamed up to answer all your questions about masturbation with (or without!) your partner.

Hi, u/littlebigman9, Culture, upbringing, education and values play a huge role in how we were raised to think about sex and masturbation. It’s not the easiest gap to bridge but beginning with a simple conversation about what your partners sex education experience was like growing up and if the topic of sex or masturbation was ever a discussion they may have had. You might be surprised where the conversation goes!

EggsAndBrocolli0 karma

Hi Erika, just curious why someone would pay for porn behind a pay wall when millions of content are free with a click of a button?

What makes your videos different compared to what generally is out there?

Erika_Lust1 karma

Hi u/EggsAndBrocolli! By adding a paywall you are ensuring fair pay for all people in front of and behind the camera and supporting creators who produce adult content with cinematic quality, which improves the viewer's experience by also sharing different POVs and more diverse bodies and identities.

fpmooney0 karma

I am an older male (72) love to mastrubate but it takes me forever to cum. Any suggestions? Also, I would like to explore my anus. What do you suggest? thanks

Erika_Lust1 karma

Hi u/fpmooney! If you'd like to speed things up, anal play can actually help with this since it adds extra pleasure and new sensations to the game. Here's an article that will help you get fully prepared for the experience. Also, prostate massagers are the best for exploration! I always recommend the Njoy wand, which is stainless steel and with a nice silicone lube to match, is a perfect combination. Hope this helps!

S1mpl3Guy-1 karma

Isn't "ethical porn" an oxymoron? Porn itself is bad for the brain's dopamine receptors and is very addictive. Its like saying ethical cigarettes, when all the industry does is profit off of people's bad habits.

Erika_Lust1 karma

Hi u/S1mpl3Guy, While porn can be used in a self-destructive manner, if engaged with mindfully through the use of porn literacy, it can contribute to one's sexual repertoire and be a positive addition to healthy sexuality. Here are some great tips to do so, written by one of our ambassadors at our non profit, The Porn Conversation. Hope it helps :)